Things to Remember

• There is a major difference between human being and being human. Very few people understand it. Strive to develop a deep understanding of this difference.
• Take good care of your health and diet. Eat your food as your medicines, else you may have to eat medicines as your food.
• Nurture your children and steer them in right direction. Don't teach them just to earn money and be rich. Teach them to be happy as well, so when they grow up they will know the value of things not just the price.
• You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between you have to manage somehow. Learn to do it well.
• Don't leave someone you really love. Even if there are hundred reasons to let go, try and find one good reason to hold on and focus on that.
• Realize the strength of collaboration. If you want to walk fast, walk alone, but if you want to walk far, walk together.

The Apple in the Bag

The Mathematics teacher asked a six-year-old child in the class, “If I give you an apple, then another apple and then one more apple, how many apples will you have?”

With a few seconds the boy replied confidently, “Four!”

The teacher was dismayed as she was expecting an effortless correct answer of three from this boy who was among the brightest in the class. “May be the child did not listen properly,” she thought.

She tried once more, “Please listen carefully. It is very simple. You will be able to do it right if you think about it. If I give you an apple, then another apple and then one more apple, how many apples will you have?”

The boy noticed the disappointment on his teacher’s face, so he listened carefully, and calculated again on his fingers, while trying to come up with the correct answer that will please the teacher. 

This time hesitatingly he replied, “Four...”

The disappointment stayed on teacher’s face. Then she remembered that the boy loves mangoes. She thought maybe he doesn’t like apples and that is making him lose focus. This time with renewed eagerness in her voice, she asked, “What If I give you a mango, then another mango and then one more mango, how many mangoes will you have?”

Sensing the teacher's eagerness, the young boy calculated on his fingers again. Both the child and the teacher felt the pressure to reach a closure on this.

With a hesitating smile and a question in her voice, the young boy replied, “Three?”

The teacher now had a victorious smile as her approach had worked. She wanted to congratulate herself, but before that one last thing remained to be fixed.

So she said, “That's correct, very good. Now tell me, if I give you an apple, then another apple and then one more apple, how many apples will you have?”

The answer came promptly, “Four!”

The teacher was aghast.

“How.... tell me, How?” she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young boy replied, “Because I already have one apple in my bag.”

This little story has a very important lesson for us. We need to learn to appreciate and understand different perspectives. Quite often, we try and impose our perspectives on others and then wonder what went wrong. When someone behaves in a manner that is different from what we expect from them, it is not necessary they are wrong. Maybe its about our perception, or the way we are looking at things. There may be an angle to it that we may have overlooked like the apple in the boy's bag. 

Next time we are in such a situation with someone, let us remind ourselves to check if there is an apple in the bag and ask gently, "Can you please help me understand?"

---

About This Post

Thanks Rajashree Kotekar for sharing this inspiring story.

The Value of Friends

A man, who regularly attended meetings with his friends, suddenly without any notice stopped participating. After a few weeks, one very cold night the leader of the friend's group decided to visit him. 

He found the man at home, alone, sitting in front of a fireplace where a bright and cozy fire burned. The man welcomed the leader. The two men sat silently watching  the dancing flames around the logs that crackled in the fireplace.

After a few minutes the leader, without saying a word, examined the logs that formed and selected one of them, glowing most brightly of all, removing it to the side with a pair of tongs. Then he sat down again.

The host was paying attention to everything, fascinated. Before long, the lone log's flame subsided, until there was only a momentary glow and the fire soon went out. In no time what was previously bright light and heat had become nothing more than a black and dead piece of wood.

Very few words had been spoken since the greeting.

Before preparing to leave, the leader with the tongs picked up the useless wood and placed it again in the middle of the fire. Immediately, the hitherto lifeless piece of wood was rekindled, fueled by the light and heat of the burning coals around him.

When the leader reached the door to leave, the host said: Thank you for your visit and for your beautiful lesson. I'll return to the group soon.

This little story has a great lesson about the value of friends in our life. By being close to our friends, we keep each other's flame burning and the closeness among friends keeps the fire strong, effective and lasting. Every friend is a part of it and separated from friends and family, it becomes difficult to keep the fire alive. Let's do our bit to keep the flame alive.

Its also gives us a fresh way to look at numerous social media groups we are a part of these days. At times, we get inundated with the flood of messages coming on the chat on these groups throughout the day and it all seems meaningless to us. At such times, remember the above story. What matters is to be connected. We are here to meet, learn, exchange ideas or simply to know that we are not alone. Be thankful that you are a part of such a wonderful fire.

Life is beautiful with friends and family.

एक छोटी सी लूट

एक शिक्षक अपने बच्चो से सवाल करता है, अगर आपके पास 86,400 रुपये है और कोई भी लुटेरा 10 रुपये छिनकर भाग जाए तो आप क्या करेंगे?

क्या आप उसके पीछे भागकर लुटे हुवे 10 रुपये वापस पाने की कोशिश करोगे? या आप अपने बचे हुवे 86,390 को हिफाज़त से लेकर अपने रास्ते पर चलते रहेंगे?

कक्षा में सभी ने कहा कि हम 10 रुपये की तुच्छ राशि की अनदेखी करते हुए अपने बचे हुवे रुपये लेकर अपने रास्ते पर चलते रहेंगे।

शिक्षक ने कहा: "आप लोगों का सत्य और अवलोकन सही नहीं है। मैंने देखा है कि ज्यादातर लोग 10 रुपये वापस लेने की फ़िक्र में चोर का पीछा करते हैं और परिणाम के रूप में, उनके बचे हुए 86,390 रुपये भी हाथ से धो बैठते हैं।

शिक्षक को देखते हुए छात्र हैरान होकर पूछने लगे "सर, यह असंभव है, ऐसा कौन करता है?"

शिक्षक ने कहा! "ये 86,400 वास्तव में हमारे दिन के सेकंड में से एक हैं। 10 सेकंड की बात लेकर, या किसी भी 10 सेकंड की नाराज़गी और गुस्से में, हम बाकी के सारे दिन को सोच, कुढ़न और जलने में गुज़ार देते हैं और हमारे बचे हुए 86,390 सेकंड भी नष्ट कर देते हैं।"

चीज़ों को अनदेखा करें। ऐसा न हो कि चन्द लम्हे का गुस्सा , नकारात्मकता आपसे आपके सारे दिन की ताज़गी और खूबसूरती छीनकर ले जाए।

Unfulfilled Dreams Are Good For Us

 

The farther I come in my journey, the more I realize that the destination is not anywhere close. There are so many desires yet to be fulfilled.. hundreds of tasks to be finished.. a number of major goals yet to be reached.. quite a few places remain to be explored.. there is so much more that still needs to be experienced and enjoyed.. so much learning yet to be done.. countless dreams that are yet to be turned into reality.

But this thought about unfulfilled desires does not make me unhappy, on the other hand, it gives me a spark of hope. These unrealized dreams create a potential, that defines a purpose for me. It creates a force of motivation that gets me going. Those who are familiar with Agile projects can understand it with the example of project backlog. The day I have no more unrealized dreams left, there is nothing more left to do for me, which is a situation I may never want to be in.

Therefore, let us welcome our unfulfilled dreams with open arms as they are the stepping stone to opportunities, and add a purpose to our existence.

एक छेद भरने की कीमत

एक आदमी ने एक पेंटर को बुलाया अपने घर, और अपनी नाव दिखाकर कहा कि इसको पेंट कर दो। उस पेंटर ने पेंट लेकर उस नाव को  लाल रंग से पेंट कर दिया जैसा कि नाव का मालिक चाहता था। फिर पेंटर ने अपने पैसे लिए और चला गया !

अगले दिन, पेंटर के घर पर वह नाव का मालिक पहुँच गया, और उसने एक बहुत बड़ी धनराशी का चेक दिया उस पेंटर को। 

पेंटर भौंचक्का हो गया, और पूछा - ये किस बात के इतने पैसे हैं ? मेरे पैसे तो आपने कल ही दे दिए थे।

मालिक ने कहा - ये पेंट के नहीं, बल्कि ये उस नाव में जो छेद था, उसको रिपेयर करने की कीमत है।

पेंटर ने कहा - अरे साहब, वो तो एक छोटा सा छेद था, सो मैंने बंद कर दिया था। उस छोटे से छेद के लिए इतना पैसा मुझे, ठीक नहीं लग रहा है।

मालिक ने कहा - दोस्त, तुम्हें पूरी बात पता नहीं। अच्छा मैं विस्तार से समझाता हूँ। 

जब मैंने तुम्हें पेंट के लिए कहा तो जल्दबाजी में तुम्हें ये बताना भूल गया कि नाव में एक छेद है उसको रिपेयर कर देना।

जब पेंट सूख गया, तो मेरे दोनों बच्चे उस नाव को नदी में लेकर नौकायन के लिए  निकल गए।

मैं उस वक़्त घर पर नहीं था, लेकिन जब लौट कर आया और अपनी पत्नी से ये सुना कि बच्चे नाव को लेकर नौकायन पर निकल गए हैं,  तो मैं बदहवास हो गया। क्योंकि मुझे याद आया कि नाव में तो छेद है !

मैं गिरता पड़ता भागा उस तरफ, जिधर मेरे प्यारे बच्चे गए थे। लेकिन थोड़ी दूर पर मुझे मेरे बच्चे दिख गए, जो सकुशल वापस आ रहे थे। अब मेरी ख़ुशी और प्रसन्नता का आलम तुम समझ सकते हो।

फिर मैंने छेद चेक किया, तो पता चला कि, मुझे बिना बताये तुम उसको रिपेयर कर चुके हो।

तो मेरे दोस्त, मेरे बच्चों की जान बचने के महान काम के लिए तो ये कीमत भी बहुत कम हैं।

मेरी औकात नहीं कि उस कार्य के बदले तुम्हे ठीक ठाक कीमत दे पाऊं !

जीवन मे भलाई का काम जब मौका लगे हमेशा कर देना चाहिए, भले ही वो बहुत छोटा सा काम ही क्यों न हो, क्योंकि कभी कभी वो छोटा सा काम भी किसी के लिए बहुत अमूल्य हो सकता है।

भरोसा जीतना है तो ये खंजर फेंकने होंगे - अशोक रावत

I am deeply impressed with the feeling of freshness in Ashok Rawat's work. 

भरोसा जीतना है तो ये खंजर फेंकने होंगे

किसी हथियार से अमनो-अमां कायम नही होता

 

एक दिन मज़बूरियाँ अपनी गिना देगा मुझे

जानता हूँ वो कहां जाकर दगा देगा मुझे

 

जुबां पर फूल होते हैं जेहन मे खार होते हैं

कहां दिल खोलने को लोग अब तैयार होते हैं

 

ये सारा वक़्त कागज़ मोडने मे क्यों लगाते हो

कहीं कागज़ की नावों से समंदर पार होते हैं

 

दुश्मनों से भी निभाना चाहते हैं

दोस्त मेरे क्या पता क्या चाहते हैं

 

वो दिया हूँ मै जिसे आंधी बुझायेगी ज़रूर

पर यहां कोइ न कोइ फिर जला देगा मुझे

 

उधर दुनिया कि कोइ ख्वाब सच होने नही देती

इधर कुछ ख्वाब हैं जो चैन से रहने नही देते

How To Control Your Anger in an Argument

We know that anger is not good for us. It causes an irreversible damage to our relationships. We try our best to manage our anger on a day-to-day basis. Despite our best efforts, there are times when it gets out of our control and we get angry. If this happens during a discussion, it changes our tone, makes us louder, harsher, which ends up killing the dialog. While knowing that it is not heading in the right direction, we still go through the motion, often ending up in a heated arguments or angry exchange. Later on we may regret it, but during the exchange it is really difficult to control or reduce the angry reaction. I get into such situations every once in a while. Has this happened to you as well?

What can we do in such a situation to minimize the damage caused by our anger? Can we somehow bring back the derailed dialog back on the track? Ironically, the two go hand-in-hand. If you successfully manage to keep the dialog alive, it gradually helps dissipate the anger on both sides and as the emotion of anger gets under control, dialog flows more smoothly. But how do we start this process?

Very often, in such situation, I am aware that the angry reaction is not going to be helpful. One idea that I have found very helpful is not to try and reduce my feeling of anger.. I let myself express the angry reaction unmodified.. but I deliberately lower my volume, talk softly, with ample respect in my voice. It helps in two ways.. first it reduces my anger gradually as it is difficult to talk soft and be angry at the same time. So, I am controlling my emotion indirectly by controlling my behavior. Secondly, when I talk softly, even when I am saying angry words, it is less likely to make the other person angry, hence the destructive spiral is broken, and the dialog goes on undisturbed.

So, next time you find yourself getting angry during an argument, give this idea a try. Lower your volume and talk softly. See if it helps you pull out of the situation with little damage. You can try it at home, at work, or in any other situation where anger is a problem for you.  

Popular Masterpieces by Qateel Shifai

Did you know that Qateel Shifai has written the following popular shers:   

जब भी जी चाहे एक नयी सूरत बना लेते हैं लोग
एक चेहरे पे कई चेहरे लगा लेते हैं लोग 

इक धूप सी जमी है निगाहों के आस पास
ये आप हैं तो आप पे कुर्बान जाइये 

तुम पूछो और मैं ना बताऊँ, ऐसे तो हालात नहीं
इक ज़रा  सा दिल टूटा  है, और तो कोई बात नहीं

वो दिल ही क्या जो तेरे मिलने की दुआ न करे
मैं तुझको भूल कर जिंदा रहूँ खुदा न करे

Enjoy some more masterpieces from the same shayar:

सितम तो ये है के वो भी न बन सका अपना
कबूल हमने किये जिसके गम ख़ुशी की तरह

बेरुखी इससे बड़ी और भला क्या होगी
एक मुद्दत से हमें उसने सताया ही नहीं

सूरज भी आखिर शाम को होता ढलान पर

भारत भूषण आर्य ने क्या खूब कहा है - हमेशा याद रखने के काबिल ख्याल:

सूरज भी आखिर शाम को होता ढलान पर,
पागल है फिर क्यूँ आदमी अपनी उडान पर।

कब आसमां ने पास से देखा ज़मीन को,
चर्चा हुई है दूर से कच्चे मकान पर।

ये अद्ल भी तो आपका क़ातिल से कम नही,
दिन को सुनाई क़ैद क्यूं शब के बयान पर।

वो कर्ज़ मुफलिस का किया पल मे माफ सब,
क्या चीज़ जाने देखकर उसने उठान पर।

उसके सिवा कोई नही गुज़रा गली से है,
वरना कहां से रोशनी मेरे मकान पर।

Tips & Tricks for Effective Teaching

As a teacher you may be putting in your best effort in preparing your material and giving your 100% to teaching, still you may be disappointed to find that the students are not showing as much interest in your class as you expect. They are sitting there and listening silently, but you can feel that the learning is not taking place, and it all seems to be a waste of effort to you. This problem gets multiplied when due to lockdown you need to take virtual class over internet. 

What is going wrong here and what can you do to remedy it? Here are some tips that you may find helpful to overcome this situation and make your teaching session more effective.

First of all, you need to examine your beliefs and attitude about teaching. What do you think is your task as a teacher? To educate your students? That is only a part of your role. Your role as a teacher includes positively engaging the students so that participate actively in the learning process. Once you see it in this light, you will take the necessary steps to engage the class during your teaching, which will transform your class completely.

How do you ensure student engagement? You should think carefully about the students' emotional needs and put them ahead of your own.  At the emotional level, the student has a number of needs that you need to keep in mind. If these needs go unfulfilled, the students get disengaged. When you address these needs while teaching in your class, you make an strong emotional connect with the students, which creates a smooth flow of information from you to them. From that point onwards, learning and teaching becomes an engaging activity in the class. 

Here are some of the emotional needs of the student I am talking about:

To Learn Something Interesting and Useful
Make sure to tell your students about the things they can do when they have learnt the subject you are teaching. Inspire them by telling them how interesting and useful the subject is and how much they are going to enjoy learning it. One of the sure shot way to create enthusiasm in students is to be enthusiastic about it yourself, that way it it easily transferred to the class. 

To Enjoy the Process of Learning
Try to make learning an enjoyable process for the students. Excite them with possibilities and do not dampen their spitits with excessive rules. Have fun while teaching and encourage the students to have fun too. This does not mean that there is no discipline in the class. You can still maintain decorum and discipline while enjoying the process of learning.

To be Noticed and Acknowledged
Generally you get the name of all the students right in the first class. Try your best to remember their names, and use a few names in every class to make a connect. This may be difficult to do, but it is a must for you as a teacher. Even after several sessions if you tell an student that you do not know his name, it makes him feel that he is not noticed at all. 

To Feel Needed, Appreciated, and Valued
Make your session as much interactive as you can and avoid making it a one-way lecture. Each student wants to feel as important as anyone else in the class. Don't just pay all attention to the extrovert students who are eager to answer your question, but involve everyone. The natural tendency of some students may be to stay quiet until you specifically nudge them. Spot such students and make sure to encourage them to participate. 

To Feel Safe, Empowered, at Ease 
Create a healthy and supportive environment in the class. It is okay to make mistakes and have wrong answers as they are learning. Don't be judgmental or critical when you correct them.

To Have a Role Model 
A teacher serves as a role model for the students. It does not imply that the teacher has to be perfect in every aspect, but it means that the students watch the teacher carefully and learn as much from his behavior as they learn from what he says. If you want the students to be there on time, make sure you reach on time too. If you want them to be respectful, show them the way by being respectful yourself. 

To summarize, if you make sure to have a bit of empathy with the students while teaching, it will go a long way to transform you into a teacher who is loved by his students.  

अपनी नसीहत पर खुद अमल ?

हाजी साहब की पूरा गाँव बहुत इज्ज़त करता था, क्यूंकि वे गाँव के सबसे समझदार बुज़ुर्ग थे। सभी अपनी समस्याओं को लेकर उनकी मदद के लिए आते। हाजी साहब भी स्वाभाव से परोपकारी थे - सबकी जैसे हो सके मदद करते थे।

एक दिन एक औरत अपने दस साल के बेटे को लेकर उनके पास आई और बोली - हाजी साहब, आप इसे समझाइए ज़रा - ये रात दिन खजूर खाता रहता है - किसी भी चीज़ की ज्यादती सेहत को नुकसान पहुंचा सकती है।

हाजी साहब ने लड़के की ओर देखा - तो लड़का बोला - क्या करूँ मुझे खजूर इतने अच्छे लगते हैं कि बार बार खाने का मन करता है।

हाजी साहब ने अपनी दाढ़ी पर हाथ फेरा और कुछ सोचकर बोले - बहन, आप एक महीने बाद आना - तब मैं आपकी इस समस्या पर कुछ कर पाउँगा।

औरत कुछ समझ नहीं पाई - परन्तु उसे हाजी साहब की अक्लमंदी पर यकीन था, इसलिए बिना कुछ कहे वापस चली गयी।

एक महीने बाद माँ-बेटे वापस आये और आकर बैठ गए। इससे पहले की माँ कुछ कहती - हाजी साहब ने लड़के को पहचानते हुए कहा - बेटे, आप को खजूर बहुत खाने की आदत है न?

लड़के ने हामी में सर हिलाया।

हाजी साहब बोले - देखो बेटा, हद से ज्यादा हर चीज़ नुकसान देती है। तुम्हारा जब भी खजूर खाने का मन करे तो यह ज़रूर सोचना कि इससे मेरी सेहत बिगड़ सकती है। बेहतर होगा कि तुम ये तय कर लो की दिन में कितने खजूर खाने हैं और फिर उस नियम के हद में ही रहने की कोशिश करो - शुरू में मुश्किल होगा पर धीरे-धीरे आसान होता जायेगा। क्या तुम ये कर सकोगे?

लड़के ने कहा - जी हाजी साहब मैं अपनी तरफ से पूरी कोशिश करूँगा। 

इसके बाद माँ-बेटा चले गए।

हाजी साहब का शागिर्द जो उनके साथ ही बैठा था अपनी जिज्ञासा रोक नहीं पाया। उसने पूछा - माफ़ करें हाजी साहब, यही बात आप उसे एक महीने पहले भी बता सकते थे, फिर आपने एक महीने का वक़्त क्यूँ माँगा? मैं कुछ समझ नहीं पा रहा हूँ।

हाजी साहब बोले - जब वो पहली बार मेरे पास आया और उसने बताया की उसे खजूर खाने की लत है, तो मुझे ये अहसास हुआ की मुझे खुद बहुत खजूर खाने की आदत है। इस एक महीने में मैंने पहले अपनी आदत पर काबू पाया, ताकि इस काबिल बन सकूँ कि लड़के को इस बारे में समझा सकूँ।

इस छोटी से कहानी में एक बड़ी सीख छुपी है - दूसरो को नसीहत देने से पहले ये ज़रूरी है कि हम खुद उस पर अमल करे। अपने व्यवहार को आदर्श बनाकर ही हम किसी को सीख देने की सोच सकते हैं। 

You Never Know

2020 has sprung lots of surprises and uncertainties at us and it has reached a point when we are unsure of what the coming months have in store for us. Some people are questioning the lockdown measures as eventually the pandemic has spread all around despite them. 

The following story is a good one to take us through this year of uncertainty.

A Sultan sentenced two men to death. One of the men, knowing how much the sultan liked his stallion, offered to teach the horse to fly within a year if the sultan would spare him his life.

The sultan liked the thought of seeing himself as the rider of the only flying horse in the world, so he readily agreed to spare him if he can make his horse fly in a year.

"You're mad,” said the other prisoner when they were alone. “You know that horses can't fly. You're only buying time and putting off the inevitable by an year.”

"Not so,” said the first prisoner. “I have four chances of escaping my sentence.

First, the sultan might die.

Secondly, I might die.

Thirdly, the horse might die.

And fourth...I might teach the horse to fly.”

Moral of the story: Let us not get bogged down with a pessimistic view of a bleak future. Let us keep the hope alive even at the darkest hour as we can never be too sure of what the future holds for us.

उम्मीद पे दुनिया क़ायम है

 उम्मीद के बारे में बड़े-बड़े शायरों ने लिखा है - आइये एक झलक देखते हैं -

फैज़ न जाने किसलिये उम्मीद्वार बैठा हूं इक ऎसी राह पे जो तेरी रह गुज़र भी नही

शकील यूँ तो हर शाम उम्मीदो पे गुज़र जाती थी आज कुछ बात है जो शाम पे रोना आया  

इकबाल सौ सौ उम्मीदें बंधती हैं इक इक निगाह पर मुझको न ऐसे प्यार से देखा करे कोई

फानी  कुछ काटी हिम्मत-ए-सवाल मे उम्र कुछ उम्मीद-ए-जवाब मे गुज़री  

गालिब कहते हैं जीते हैं उम्मीद पे लोग हमको जीने की भी उम्मीद नही

One Minute Manager - A Simple Philosophy of People Management

The One Minute Manager is one of my all time favorite books by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson that presents the complex topic of people management in a very simplified way. The tiltle One Minute Manager may give an impression that it is about rushing to finish everything quickly, but far from it, the book uses a simple story to teach three secrets of efficient management. It is a useful reading not only for people who have a manager's job but for everyone as we all need to manage something during our day-to-day work. This is a story of a young man searching for the perfect managing and leading skills. He comes across a one minute manager, who is a respected leader, highly spoken of by his employees. The man shares his three secrets that are the key to his success. 

One Minute Goals 

The first secret is One Minute Goals. This involves a meeting of the manager and the team member where goals are agreed on, written down in a brief statement, and occasionally reviewed to ensure that productivity is occurring. This whole process takes a "minute", which truly means it is a quick meeting, however it is not limited to just sixty seconds. The one minute goal setting ensures that the team member his responsibilities clearly. This is important as confusion about role leads to inefficiency and discouragement. 

One Minute Praise 

The second secret is one minute praise. This involves being open with people about their performance. When you catch someone doing something right, you praise them immediately, telling them specifically what they did correctly. Pause to allow them to "feel" how good you feel regarding their importance to the organization, and finish by shaking hands. 

One Minute Reprimand 

The third secret is the one minute reprimand. Being honest with those around you involves reprimanding when a wrong has occurred. The first step is to reprimand immediately and specifically. This is the same as the second secret, and it holds an important aspect of the first secret: it enables an understanding of responsibilities and how to complete them correctly. Following the reprimand, shake hands and remind the person that he or she is important and it was simply their performance that you did not like. The one minute reprimand consists of the reprimand and the reassurance, both being equally important. If you leave the latter out, you will not be liked by those around you and they will attribute mistakes to them being worth less, which is far from the truth. 

The book also puts emphasis that we should consciously try and 'catch' people doing good things, and not play a supervisor who is always looking for faults. 

These are fairly simple steps to follow, that can help you manage more efficiently. I would like to be a perfect One Minute Manager, but my experience is that I tend to forget these simple principles in many situations. Reading from this book every once in a while helps to remind me about the principles and keeps me on track. 

Tips & Tricks for Positive Thinking

If you have been reading this blog, you know that positive thinking is really good for you and it can have a significant impact on your life. But, it is easier said than done. Thinking positive may not come naturally to everyone. There are situations when you can not bring up positive thoughts at will. To get that positive change in your life, it is important to make it a conscious effort. Here are a few practical tips on the small steps that help you move in the direction:

• Whenever you find yourself getting negative thoughts, STOP them. Start thinking of a happy event or memory that will cheer you up.
• Make positive statements. Instead of thinking or saying, "I can't do it" or "This is impossible", state positive affirmations like - "I will give it my best shot" or "I have so many things to be grateful about." This sends out positive vibes.
• If you are feeling unwell and you tell yourself that you are going to be down with flu, chances are that it will come true! Your mind is more powerful than you think. So, stop thinking that you are going to fall sick. Experts have found that even Placebo effect can cure patients. A placebo is an experimental pill that contains no medicine given to patients in medical experiments. It has been found that patients taking it still report improvement, just due to the belief that they have taken medicine.
• Down in the dumps or feeling low due to an illness? Visualisation is a great technique that will actually help you feel better. So, imagine yourself healthy and happy. When you visualise your thoughts, they send positive signals to your brain making you feel better.
• Positive emotions like humor, friendship, and love are known to supercharge your health. Experts have always asserted that laughter is great for health. And life is full of humour only if you stop and experience it. Watch funny movies or TV shows. Try reading books and share jokes with people. You should also meet people who make you laugh. Laughter increases happiness, reduces pain, and heals you.
• Catch up with friends. Surround yourself with genuine friends whose company is relaxing for you.
• Help someone in need, and it will have a miraculous effect on your own feelings.
• When you spend time in prayer and spiritual exercise, you attract positive vibrations to your side. Having faith goes a long way in making you a positive thinker. Prayer and meditation are good ways to connect to your spiritual side.

क्या है सुख? कैसे इसे हासिल करें ?

 

क्या है सुख?

बुखार नहीं है, सर्दी खांसी नहीं है,

मुंह में स्वाद भी है, खुशबू भी ले सकते है

यही तो है सुख !

पिछले कई महीनो से चल रहे अभूतपूर्व कोरोना महामारी के प्रकोप ने हमें अचानक यह अहसास दिला दिया है कि वास्तव में जीवन में ऐसे कितने ही छोटे छोटे सुख भरे हुए हैं - परन्तु हम उन्हें नकार कर सिर्फ यही देखते रहते हैं कि हमारे जीवन में क्या कमी है - या कौन सी इच्छा पूरी होनी बाकी है | खुश रहना हमारे अपने हाथ में है, यदि हम अपने मन से नकारात्मक विचार निकाल दें | ज़रा नीचे लिखे सुझावों पर विचार कीजिये - शायद ये मददगार हो सकें |

सबसे पहले सोच बदलें 

• जीवन में सभी चीजें अस्थायी हैं। यदि सब कुछ ठीक ठाक चल रहा है, तो इसका आनंद लेना सीखिए |
• यदि कुछ गलत घट भी रहा है, तो चिंता मत कीजिये, यह वक़्त जल्द ही गुज़र जाएगा |
• चिंता कभी न करें क्यूंकि चिता कल की मुसीबतों को दूर नहीं करती, पर वह आज की शांति जरूर छीन लेती है।
• ज़रा सोचिये - कार की विंडशील्ड इतनी बड़ी और रियर व्यू मिरर इतना छोटा क्यों होता है? क्योंकि आगे बढ़ने के लिए हमेशा सामने देखना ज़रूरी है | इसी तरह हमाराअतीत कभी हमारे वर्तमान से ज्यादा महत्वपूर्ण नहीं होता। सामने देखिये और आगे बढिए। 

आपकी पहुँच ऊपर तक है, उसका प्रयोग करें 

• अगर आपको अपनी क्षमताओं में विश्वास है तो परमेश्वर भी आपकी समस्याओं को हल करता है। कठिन समय में उनसे मदद लेने में न हिचकें |
• अक्सर जब हम उम्मीद खो बैठते हैं और लगता है कि अब अंत आ पहुंचा - उस समय ईश्वर ऊपर से मुस्कराता है और कहता है, आराम से डियर, कोई अंत नहीं, यह सिर्फ एक मोड़ है ! 
• परन्तु याद रखें कि प्रार्थना को सिर्फ स्टेपनी की तरह मुसीबत के समय ही प्रयोग न करें | इसको जीवन का स्टीयरिंग व्हील बनायें, जो जिंदगी के सफ़र में आपको सही दिशा में ले जाए |
• कभी कभी दूसरो के लिए भी प्रार्थना करें क्यूंकि जब आप दूसरों के लिए प्रार्थना करते हैं तो भगवान आपकी सुनता है और उनकी मदद करता है । 

अच्छे दोस्तों को न भूलें 

• आपके दोस्तों का साथ कई बार आपको कठिन से कठिन परिस्थिति से जूझने का हौसला देता है |
• जब कभी आपकी समस्या का अचानक समाधान हो जाता है तो याद रखें कि उस समय आप के लिए भी शायद कोई मित्र प्रार्थना कर रहा हो | 
• परन्तु एक सच्ची और अच्छी दोस्ती को विकसित करना आसान नहीं है - सच्ची दोस्ती एक किताब की तरह है, जिसे लिखने में कई साल खर्च हो जाते हैं लेकिन इसे जलाने में कुछ ही सेकंड लगता है |  
• नए दोस्त मिल जाने पर पुराने दोस्तों को न भूलें | पुराने दोस्त सोने की तरह होते हैं और नए मित्र हीरे जैसे | यदि आपको एक हीरा मिल जाए तो, सोने को नहीं भूलें, क्योंकि हीरे की पकड़ बनाने के लिए हमेशा सोने के बेस की जरूरत होती है | 

A Different Look at Lockdown Blues

Are you also feeling the lockdown blues, being confined at home, unable to go out to work and socialize? Here is a different way to look at the situation.

Stop feeling that you are bored, upset that you can't leave the house during the lockdown. Do not consider this staying at home with your loving family as isolation. Isolation is what the seriously ill patients are experiencing in hospital. All they want is to go home.

So, thank God if you have to stay at home, because despite everything, with money or without money, with a job or without a job, you are in the safest place you could be, at home, surrounded by your loved ones.

Look at the situation you are experiencing with a different paradigm. Treat this as a time to transform your home into a wonderful place to work and stay, a place of peace and happiness, of activities that you love doing.

Transform your home into a party zone - listen to music, sing, dance.

Transform your home into a temple - pray, meditate, ask, thank, praise, plead.

Transform your home into a school - read, write, draw, paint, study, learn, teach.

Transform your home into a store - clean, order, organize, decorate, label, move, sell, donate.

Transform your home into a restaurant - cook, eat, try, create recipes, grow spices, plant a garden.

To summarize, make the best possible use of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - make your home, your family, a place of love.

छोटी छोटी बातें

यदि हम अपने व्यवहार में कुछ छोटी छोटी बातों का ध्यान रखें तो इससे हमारे अपने मित्रों, सहकर्मियों, और परिवार जनों के साथ सम्बन्ध और भी मधुर हो सकते हैं | एक नज़र इन सुझावों पर डालिए और सोचिये कि इनमे से कितनी बातों का हम पालन कर पाते हैं जब हम दूसरों से मिलते हैं ?

No One is Irreplaceable

I came across this beautiful story that gives you an interesting perspective about importance of a healthy work-life balance.

Sambit graduated to be the best and finest surgeon in the world. At age 30, he got married.  The joy of marrying a medical doctor attracted Sunidhi, his wife, to him.

After a few weeks leave from work, he got very busy and started spending little time with his wife. This had an adverse impact on their domestic life, and gradually their relationship began to go south. The reason was not that he did not love her, nor that he was flirting around with other ladies. Like most doctors, he was seen as too important at work to have any time for himself and his family. Every patient wanted him. The hospital wanted him to handle all the surgeries at hand.

One day, he got home very early from work. The wife was glad that he was at least early today. Just as he was dropping his briefcase, his phone rang and the following conversation went on.

Nurse: Sir, we need you now at the hospital. We have an emergency.

Sambit: I'm on my way.

The wife was upset with him. As usual, he told her "Sorry". Such incidents became a regular pattern. This went on for a long time. Sunidi was slowly getting accustomed to this life.

But one unfortunate day, he had a fatal accident and passed away. Sunidhi could not believe that Sambit is no more.

The other doctors and surgeons mourned him. The hospital was very helpful and cleared his dues really quickly. His savings and the amount from the hospital left Sunidhi with enough money to take care of herself for the rest of her life. But can money replace love?  You know the answer.

After a couple of weeks, Sunidhi happened to visit the same hospital for some check up, as she walked in the corridor of Sambit's office, her memories came back. As she reached his cabin, she found another name plate on it and the surgeon who replaced her husband sitting in the cabin. Several patients were sitting in the waiting area. She got talking to one of them, who told her that the new surgeon was the best in the town. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought that her husband gave his whole life to his work, and it did not take long for someone to replace him.

This story is a great food for thought. Pause and ask yourself the following questions, look around carefully to validate your answers:

• Do you think you are irreplaceable at work? 
• Do you think no one can do better than what you are doing or what you can do?
• Do you consider yourself too important?
• Do you know you are valued because you are available and making useful contribution?

This is a wake up call to take a balanced view of your life. This is not to say that you should not give your 100% at work. I am not advocating a self-centered approach. Do your best on the job and contribute as much as you can, but do not neglect your life in the process. Remember that it is important to spare time for yourself. Value your family and friends and give them priority.

Above all, do not get emotionally attached to your work. Maintain the detached mindset of a Yogi, because whether you like it or not, you are replaceable.

Let us Listen to Others

We are witnessing an unprecedented level of disruption in the country these days due to massive protests against the recently passed citizenship amendment law by the government. The protesters are blaming the government and are unwilling to budge till their voices are heard. Directly or indirectly, the government is trying to label the protesters as anti-nationals, and dismissing the stir as an opposition sponsored political stunt not backed by general public. Some people are giving a communal color to the whole episode, some say it is supported by our neighboring country. The two sides have not had a single discussion so far, and there seem very little chance of them agreeing on something even if they talk.

I do not want to go into who is right and who is wrong argument here. However, as a citizen, I expect a better example of collaboration and synergy from our chosen leaders and fellow citizens. What is going wrong here?

The answer to this question may be found in this beautiful article by Acharya Mahapragya about  a Jain principle that says that we should avoid treating our point of view as the absolute truth, and be willing to listen to others views as well. If both the sides adopt this mindset, it will become feasible to discuss the issue and arrive at a mutually acceptable solution. 

सामान्यत: प्रत्येक आदमी में अपने विचार को अंतिम मान लेने की मनोवृत्ति है। वह अपने हर विचार को अंतिम मान लेता है। यह वृत्ति किसी एक में नहीं, दुनिया के प्राय: सभी लोगों में है। किसी में कम है, किसी में अधिक। प्रत्येक आदमी सोचता है कि मैं जो सोचता हूं, वह बिलकुल ठीक है।

जिसमें विचार का आग्रह नहीं होता, उसके चिंतन में नित नए उन्मेष आते हैं। जिनमें विचार करने की क्षमता कम है , वे अल्पज्ञ हैं। प्राय: देखा जाता है कि जो व्यक्ति चिंतन से दरिद्र होते हैं, वे अपने विचार को सर्वश्रेष्ठ मानते हैं। वे सोचते हैं, उनका विचार किसी सर्वज्ञ से कम नहीं है। जहां विचार मनुष्य की मौलिक विशेषता है, वहीं विचार का आग्रह मनुष्य की मौलिक समस्या भी बना हुआ है।

वचन भी मनुष्य की विशेषता के साथ एक समस्या बना हुआ है। आदमी जल्दी ही विवाद खड़ा कर देता है। एक व्यक्ति कहेगा, आज भोजन अच्छा बना है। दूसरा तत्काल प्रतिवाद करेगा, क्या खाक अच्छा बना है? बिलकुल खराब बना है। कोई कहेगा, नमक नहीं है। कोई कहेगा, इतना काफी है। और बात-बात में एक विवाद खड़ा हो जाएगा।

प्रत्येक वचन के साथ विवाद जुड़ा हुआ है और मनुष्य इस मौलिक समस्या से आक्रांत है।

व्यवहार भी एक समस्या है। कोई आदत बन गई और कहा जाए कि आदत को छोड़ो। शराब पीते हो, पान खाते हो, यह अच्छा नहीं है। दूसरा कहता है, ये कैसे छूट सकते हैं? तीसरा कहता है, भाई, तू क्यों सलाह देता है, इसमें तेरा क्या जा रहा है। चौथा कहता है, पूरा जीवन इसी प्रकार बिता दिया, अब क्या बदलूंगा?

जब तक समन्वय का दृष्टिकोण विकसित नहीं होता, तब तक आदत को बदला नहीं जा सकता। समस्या यह है कि लोग जिस बात को पकड़ लेते हैं, उसे छोड़ना नहीं चाहते। इसलिए सबसे पहले विचार का आग्रह छोड़ें। आपके भीतर सह अस्तित्व का बोध जितना प्रखर होगा, वैचारिक आग्रह उतना ही छूटता चला जाएगा। सापेक्षता का दृष्टिकोण जितना प्रखर होगा, विचार का आग्रह छूटता चला जाएगा।

जैन न्याय के दो प्रसिद्ध शब्द हैं नय और दुर्नय। अनेक सत्यांशों को सापेक्ष दृष्टि से देखना नय है और उन्हें निरपेक्ष सत्य मानना दुर्नय है।

हमारा सारा व्यवहार, वचन और विचार सापेक्ष है। कोई भी विचार निरपेक्ष नहीं है, इसका अर्थ है, कोई भी विचार परिपूर्ण नहीं है। कोई भी वचन निरपेक्ष नहीं है, इसका अर्थ है, प्रत्येक वचन सत्यांश का वाचक है, पूर्ण सत्य का वाचक नहीं है। प्रत्येक व्यवहार सापेक्ष है। इसका अर्थ है कि देश और काल के अनुसार वह बदलता रहता है।

सापेक्षता की समझ विकसित होने पर विचार में अनाग्रह का विकास होता है और वचन विवाद से मुक्त हो जाता है। इससे साधना का एक सूत्र हाथ लगता है - हम प्रवृत्ति करने के लिए स्वतंत्र हैं, अपेक्षित नई आदत का निर्माण कर सकते हैं। हम निवृत्ति करने में भी स्वतंत्र हैं, अवांछनीय पुरानी आदतों को छोड़ सकते हैं।

जो इसे समझ ले, वही दूसरे मनुष्यों के अधिकारों का औचित्य समझ सकता है और उनकी रक्षा कर सकता है। यह सूत्र स्वस्थ पारिवारिक और सामाजिक जीवन की आधारशिला बन सकता है। यह साधना का सूत्र नयवाद की बहुत बड़ी देन है।