How to Be Positive in Practical Life ?

Consider the following quote from Saakshi:

You try to be the bigger person... read a hundred books on positive thinking, join spirituality courses, meditate regularly and try to be at peace and try your best to let nothing pull you down.. and then this one person.. just so naturally brings out the worst in you.. so much that it makes you want to pull all your hair out and burn those books and course certificates! Wonder what classes they are taking.. Is there a course on "how to stoop to new lows"? Must be one hell of a class!

Sounds familiar? Positive attitude and thoughts sound very nice on paper and in theory, but in real-life, when you encounter stress in day-to-day situations, there is no place for these lofty ideas and then you have to think practically. All of us have experienced these situations ourselves. So, can we say that Positive Thinking is just an idealistic stuff that does not work in practical situations? Certainly not! On the contrary, Positive Thinking is of immense practical use in everyday life. How? Let me try to justify my disputable claim in this post.

Let us take an example - when you perform on stage, you do a lot of practice before the actual performance to get it near perfect. However, you may get nervous on stage and some parts  may go haywire, but that does not mean that practice was useless and you would not practice before your next performance. In fact the extensive practice most probably helped you give a decent enough performance in-spite of your nervousness.

You may ask, "We are talking about bad situations or people that you encounter. What has this got to do with my performance?" The fact is that Positive Thinking is a skill that implies that you will keep a positive outlook irrespective of your circumstances. The other person may be showing his worst behavior, but you can still choose to be positive. As a minimum, it helps you maintain your calm.

But does that mean being positive is just a way to divert our mind and it does not really help us find a solution? (The word "Antarik Samadhaan" is used by some people to describe it.) Sometimes people cite the following joke to assert that Positive Thinking can not change the outcome and It is better to have a realistic thinking.

Doctor: "Did you take the medicine I prescribed, and did you see any improvements in the condition that you used to feel nervous and fall down while walking?"
Patient: "Yes doctor, it is much better now"
Doctor: "Do you no longer fall down?"
Patient: "I do fall down at times, but I no longer feel nervous"

Positive Attitude can not only keep you calm in adversity, but it can contribute towards a solution as well. Imagine your thinking is a stream of river in which you are sailing a boat. When you think positive, the current of your thoughts is aligned with your direction of movement and you can sail forward quickly. On the other hands, negative thoughts work like you are sailing against the current of river, so you will need to sail harder to achieve the same results. The irony is that it is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that life is tough, your own attitude will act as a opposite current, that will make you sail harder and strengthen your belief about the toughness of life. You may dismiss others who believe that life is beautiful as starry-eyed idealist, but the fact is that these positive people use their thoughts to make their life beautiful. So, Positive Thinking has the potential of changing the course of your life.

Positive Thinking is a habit that takes some effort to master. When you learn to balance a bike, you practice doing it before you get used to it. Even after that you may lose balance and fall down once-in-a-while. Like learning the bike, you need patience when learning to be positive. With regular practice and time you can master it like any other habit. Let us take a closer look on habits for a moment. Stephen Covey says that to master any habit, you need to work at its three components, each of which is essential. Very often, we neglect one or two of these, and it does not work out.

1. Desire

This is the motivation part of the habit, or "Want to do" part. Since you are reading this post, I assume that you have the required motivation.

2. Knowledge

There is a theoretical part of every habit. This contains information about what to do and why to do it. You get the required knowledge by reading or discussing.

3. Skill

This is the practical part of the habit, or "How to do it " part. You can start learning it from books, but eventually have to practice to master it.  The more you practice, the better you'll get at it. So, practice being positive every day till you get good at it. Here are some ideas that I have found helpful, help me grow this list by contributing your favorite idea here:

• Go slow. It takes time to master any skill. Do not expect to get it right in a hurry.
• Go Easy. Let it go. If it does not work out in a situation, do not over stress yourself. There will be a next time.
• Stay in touch with yourself when you are in real-life situations. Observe closely your thoughts, feelings, and actions. This is the first step towards changing any behavior.
• Don't just focus on your failures. Pay attention to your successes as well. Collect one or more instances everyday of situations where you could apply Positive Thinking successfully.