Struggles are Good for Our Kids

As parents, we try our best to help and protect our kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments. The usual thought is, "I don't want my kids to struggle like I did". But famous ex-Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon has very different view about it. He says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges. When we are extra protective about our kid, we send him the message that he is not capable of helping himself. Clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy puts it very well, "It  is  our  job  to  prepare  our  children  for  the  road, not  prepare  the  road for  our  children."

The following short story illustrates this thought very well. I came across this story recently and found it very inspiring, so I am sharing it here:

A Gardner saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the pots in his garden. Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness. The egg started to move and shake a little. He was exited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg started to expand and develop cracks.. A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly.The man's excitement knew no bounds. He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out. He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn't resist his urge to help. He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here a nip there to help the struggling life. 

And look! The pupa came out of the egg. The man was ecstatic.  He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly; but Alas that never happened. The larvae pupa had a oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died. 

Depressed, the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason. His friend told him
the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it thru its 4 week life cycle. In his eagerness to help the man destroyed a beautiful life.

Struggles are good for all of us and our kids. A small effort put in today goes a long way to develop our strength to face life's difficulties in future.

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About This Post
This story was sent to me by Jagminder Chugh as a message. Thanks a lot Jagminder for sharing such an inspirational message.