No One is Irreplaceable

I came across this beautiful story that gives you an interesting perspective about importance of a healthy work-life balance.

Sambit graduated to be the best and finest surgeon in the world. At age 30, he got married.  The joy of marrying a medical doctor attracted Sunidhi, his wife, to him.

After a few weeks leave from work, he got very busy and started spending little time with his wife. This had an adverse impact on their domestic life, and gradually their relationship began to go south. The reason was not that he did not love her, nor that he was flirting around with other ladies. Like most doctors, he was seen as too important at work to have any time for himself and his family. Every patient wanted him. The hospital wanted him to handle all the surgeries at hand.

One day, he got home very early from work. The wife was glad that he was at least early today. Just as he was dropping his briefcase, his phone rang and the following conversation went on.

Nurse: Sir, we need you now at the hospital. We have an emergency.

Sambit: I'm on my way.

The wife was upset with him. As usual, he told her "Sorry". Such incidents became a regular pattern. This went on for a long time. Sunidi was slowly getting accustomed to this life.

But one unfortunate day, he had a fatal accident and passed away. Sunidhi could not believe that Sambit is no more.

The other doctors and surgeons mourned him. The hospital was very helpful and cleared his dues really quickly. His savings and the amount from the hospital left Sunidhi with enough money to take care of herself for the rest of her life. But can money replace love?  You know the answer.

After a couple of weeks, Sunidhi happened to visit the same hospital for some check up, as she walked in the corridor of Sambit's office, her memories came back. As she reached his cabin, she found another name plate on it and the surgeon who replaced her husband sitting in the cabin. Several patients were sitting in the waiting area. She got talking to one of them, who told her that the new surgeon was the best in the town. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought that her husband gave his whole life to his work, and it did not take long for someone to replace him.

This story is a great food for thought. Pause and ask yourself the following questions, look around carefully to validate your answers:

• Do you think you are irreplaceable at work? 
• Do you think no one can do better than what you are doing or what you can do?
• Do you consider yourself too important?
• Do you know you are valued because you are available and making useful contribution?

This is a wake up call to take a balanced view of your life. This is not to say that you should not give your 100% at work. I am not advocating a self-centered approach. Do your best on the job and contribute as much as you can, but do not neglect your life in the process. Remember that it is important to spare time for yourself. Value your family and friends and give them priority.

Above all, do not get emotionally attached to your work. Maintain the detached mindset of a Yogi, because whether you like it or not, you are replaceable.

Let us Listen to Others

We are witnessing an unprecedented level of disruption in the country these days due to massive protests against the recently passed citizenship amendment law by the government. The protesters are blaming the government and are unwilling to budge till their voices are heard. Directly or indirectly, the government is trying to label the protesters as anti-nationals, and dismissing the stir as an opposition sponsored political stunt not backed by general public. Some people are giving a communal color to the whole episode, some say it is supported by our neighboring country. The two sides have not had a single discussion so far, and there seem very little chance of them agreeing on something even if they talk.

I do not want to go into who is right and who is wrong argument here. However, as a citizen, I expect a better example of collaboration and synergy from our chosen leaders and fellow citizens. What is going wrong here?

The answer to this question may be found in this beautiful article by Acharya Mahapragya about  a Jain principle that says that we should avoid treating our point of view as the absolute truth, and be willing to listen to others views as well. If both the sides adopt this mindset, it will become feasible to discuss the issue and arrive at a mutually acceptable solution. 

सामान्यत: प्रत्येक आदमी में अपने विचार को अंतिम मान लेने की मनोवृत्ति है। वह अपने हर विचार को अंतिम मान लेता है। यह वृत्ति किसी एक में नहीं, दुनिया के प्राय: सभी लोगों में है। किसी में कम है, किसी में अधिक। प्रत्येक आदमी सोचता है कि मैं जो सोचता हूं, वह बिलकुल ठीक है।

जिसमें विचार का आग्रह नहीं होता, उसके चिंतन में नित नए उन्मेष आते हैं। जिनमें विचार करने की क्षमता कम है , वे अल्पज्ञ हैं। प्राय: देखा जाता है कि जो व्यक्ति चिंतन से दरिद्र होते हैं, वे अपने विचार को सर्वश्रेष्ठ मानते हैं। वे सोचते हैं, उनका विचार किसी सर्वज्ञ से कम नहीं है। जहां विचार मनुष्य की मौलिक विशेषता है, वहीं विचार का आग्रह मनुष्य की मौलिक समस्या भी बना हुआ है।

वचन भी मनुष्य की विशेषता के साथ एक समस्या बना हुआ है। आदमी जल्दी ही विवाद खड़ा कर देता है। एक व्यक्ति कहेगा, आज भोजन अच्छा बना है। दूसरा तत्काल प्रतिवाद करेगा, क्या खाक अच्छा बना है? बिलकुल खराब बना है। कोई कहेगा, नमक नहीं है। कोई कहेगा, इतना काफी है। और बात-बात में एक विवाद खड़ा हो जाएगा।

प्रत्येक वचन के साथ विवाद जुड़ा हुआ है और मनुष्य इस मौलिक समस्या से आक्रांत है।

व्यवहार भी एक समस्या है। कोई आदत बन गई और कहा जाए कि आदत को छोड़ो। शराब पीते हो, पान खाते हो, यह अच्छा नहीं है। दूसरा कहता है, ये कैसे छूट सकते हैं? तीसरा कहता है, भाई, तू क्यों सलाह देता है, इसमें तेरा क्या जा रहा है। चौथा कहता है, पूरा जीवन इसी प्रकार बिता दिया, अब क्या बदलूंगा?

जब तक समन्वय का दृष्टिकोण विकसित नहीं होता, तब तक आदत को बदला नहीं जा सकता। समस्या यह है कि लोग जिस बात को पकड़ लेते हैं, उसे छोड़ना नहीं चाहते। इसलिए सबसे पहले विचार का आग्रह छोड़ें। आपके भीतर सह अस्तित्व का बोध जितना प्रखर होगा, वैचारिक आग्रह उतना ही छूटता चला जाएगा। सापेक्षता का दृष्टिकोण जितना प्रखर होगा, विचार का आग्रह छूटता चला जाएगा।

जैन न्याय के दो प्रसिद्ध शब्द हैं नय और दुर्नय। अनेक सत्यांशों को सापेक्ष दृष्टि से देखना नय है और उन्हें निरपेक्ष सत्य मानना दुर्नय है।

हमारा सारा व्यवहार, वचन और विचार सापेक्ष है। कोई भी विचार निरपेक्ष नहीं है, इसका अर्थ है, कोई भी विचार परिपूर्ण नहीं है। कोई भी वचन निरपेक्ष नहीं है, इसका अर्थ है, प्रत्येक वचन सत्यांश का वाचक है, पूर्ण सत्य का वाचक नहीं है। प्रत्येक व्यवहार सापेक्ष है। इसका अर्थ है कि देश और काल के अनुसार वह बदलता रहता है।

सापेक्षता की समझ विकसित होने पर विचार में अनाग्रह का विकास होता है और वचन विवाद से मुक्त हो जाता है। इससे साधना का एक सूत्र हाथ लगता है - हम प्रवृत्ति करने के लिए स्वतंत्र हैं, अपेक्षित नई आदत का निर्माण कर सकते हैं। हम निवृत्ति करने में भी स्वतंत्र हैं, अवांछनीय पुरानी आदतों को छोड़ सकते हैं।

जो इसे समझ ले, वही दूसरे मनुष्यों के अधिकारों का औचित्य समझ सकता है और उनकी रक्षा कर सकता है। यह सूत्र स्वस्थ पारिवारिक और सामाजिक जीवन की आधारशिला बन सकता है। यह साधना का सूत्र नयवाद की बहुत बड़ी देन है।