February – A Month of Ghazals & Passion

February is an interesting month dedicated to Ghazals and Passion. On 8th February, we get to remember two legends of ghazal – one of the finest ghazal singer, Jagjit Singh has his birthday on this day, and the exquisite ghazal writer Nida Fazli has his death anniversary on the same day. What a beautiful coincidence that the two of them have collaborated to create several exceptional ghazals. While one created beautiful words, the other magnified the beauty of the words with his melodious voice. The best example of their collaboration is the following ghazal:

होश वालों को खबर क्या, बेखुदी क्या चीज़ है

इश्क़ कीजे फिर समझिए, ज़िंदगी क्या चीज़ है   

Beautiful words indeed. People who are always sober can't know what being intoxicated is all about. Discover your love, then you'll realize what life is all about. In general, most ghazals are centered around and at times over-stress the feelings of love and romance. Another coincidence is that February also brings us Valentine Day – a day dedicated to love and romance. Over the years, its popularity has been growing so much among the youngsters that it has now become a seven-day festival dedicated to romance, starting on 7th February with Rose Day, Propose Day and culminating on 14th February with Hug Day, Kiss Day. However, not everyone likes it, and there are people who strongly oppose it. Which confirms the wisdom of Nida Fazli’s ghazal. After all how can a sober person know the feeling of being intoxicated?

Let us switch track a little. From a different perspective, 8th February reminds us that life is nothing but the journey from birth to death, one may ask – if we take birth just to pass our time till death, what is the point behind it? What is the meaning of life? How do we add excitement and anticipation to our daily life? Depending on who you ask, this question may get you different answers. 14th February nudges us to discover our love to add excitement to life. Besides this, you can also try being busy at work, getting married and bringing up a family, religion, serving others, pursue a hobby, etc. Any of the above alternatives may be good depending on your own situation, and no one size fits all. 

A common thread in all of these is that you discover your passion and pursue it. This is a set of activities that you love doing. The time you spend on them is the most satisfying, happy period. It could be anything like writing, dance, music, teaching, social service, your profession, etc. Some people have discovered their passion while others are still looking, though they carry it within them. Once you find it, it gives you a sense of purpose and meaning, a reason for getting up every morning. The exact feeling of happiness on following your passion is hard to describe in words, as it can be felt only by those who have experienced it themselves. So, this February, let us take a resolve to locate our passion and start spending our time with a purpose in mind. 

Let us revisit the ghazal mentioned above in the context of passion, you will find it gets a new insightful meaning suddenly. 

इश्क़ कीजे फिर समझिए, ज़िंदगी क्या चीज़ है - Discover your passion, then you'll realize what life is all about.

Now it becomes more widely applicable wisdom – where there may be many different ways you can feel the passion and sense of purpose and love is just one possible way out of these.

Before ending this post, let me share my recording of this beautiful ghazal. 

Unfulfilled Dreams Are Good For Us

 

The farther I come in my journey, the more I realize that the destination is not anywhere close. There are so many desires yet to be fulfilled.. hundreds of tasks to be finished.. a number of major goals yet to be reached.. quite a few places remain to be explored.. there is so much more that still needs to be experienced and enjoyed.. so much learning yet to be done.. countless dreams that are yet to be turned into reality.

But this thought about unfulfilled desires does not make me unhappy, on the other hand, it gives me a spark of hope. These unrealized dreams create a potential, that defines a purpose for me. It creates a force of motivation that gets me going. Those who are familiar with Agile projects can understand it with the example of project backlog. The day I have no more unrealized dreams left, there is nothing more left to do for me, which is a situation I may never want to be in.

Therefore, let us welcome our unfulfilled dreams with open arms as they are the stepping stone to opportunities, and add a purpose to our existence.

A Poem of Hope and Wisdom - Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar

This beautiful nazm (poem) by Sahir Ludhiyanvi was used so well in 1976 film Kabhi Kabhi. I am capturing the translation of a part of the poem for those who do not know Hindi. Let me start by singing a few lines from this beautiful song - click on the video below to listen to it.

I'm a poet only for a moment or two,

My story will last only for a moment or two,

My existence will last only for a moment or two,

My youth will last only for a moment or two..

So many poets came before and left,

Some cried and returned,

Some sang poems and left,

They were part of the moment,

Like I'm a part of the moment,

Like them I'll go away tomorrow,

Though I'm a part of your present today..

A few more will come tomorrow,

Who will pick blossoming songs,

better narrators than me,

better listeners than you,

I wish you will remember me,

But why would you?

Why would this busy world,

Waste its time for me?

कल नई कोंपलें फूटेंगी, 
कल नए फूल मुस्काएंगे
और नई घास के नए फर्श पर 
नए पांव  इठलाएंगे

वो मेरे बीच नहीं आए, 
मैं उनके बीच में क्यों आऊं

उनकी सुबह और शामों का 

मैं एक भी लम्हा क्यों पाऊँ

मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ
पल दो पल मेरी कहानी है
पल दो पल मेरी हस्ती है
पल दो पल मेरी जवानी है
मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ ...

मुझसे पहले कितने शायर
आए और आकर चले गए
कुछ आहें भर कर लौट गए
कुछ नग़मे गाकर चले गए
वो भी एक पल का किस्सा था
मैं भी एक पल का किस्सा हूँ
कल तुमसे जुदा हो जाऊँगा
वो आज तुम्हारा हिस्सा हूँ
मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ ...

कल और आएंगे नग़मों की
खिलती कलियाँ चुनने वाले
मुझसे बेहतर कहने वाले
तुमसे बेहतर सुनने वाले
कल कोई मुझको याद करे
क्यूँ कोई मुझको याद करे
मसरूफ़ ज़माना मेरे लिये
क्यूँ वक़्त अपना बरबाद करे

मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ ...

मैं हर इक पल का शायर हूँ
हर इक पल मेरी कहानी है
हर इक पल मेरी हस्ती है
हर इक पल मेरी जवानी है
मैं हर इक पल का शायर हूँ

रिश्तों का रूप बदलता है, 
बुनियादें खत्म नहीं होतीं
ख़्वाबों और उमँगों की 
मियादें खत्म नहीं होतीं
इक फूल में तेरा रूप बसा, 
इक फूल में मेरी जवानी है
इक चेहरा तेरी निशानी है, 
इक चेहरा मेरी निशानी है
मैं हर इक पल का शायर हूँ

तुझको मुझको जीवन अम्रित 
अब इन हाथों से पीना है
इनकी धड़कन में बसना है, 
इनकी साँसों में जीना है
तू अपनी अदाएं बक्ष इन्हें, 
मैं अपनी वफ़ाएं देता हूँ
जो अपने लिए सोचीं थी कभी, 
वो सारी दुआएं देता हूँ

मैं हर इक पल का शायर हूँ

An Invaluable Lesson from My Father

The biggest lesson that I got from my father is how to stay cool in tough times and accept the fact that difficulties are as much a part of life as good times. This attitude gives you tremendous strength to face any adversity. I can not say that I have been able to follow this approach consistently in all situations, but I have seen him to be a living examples of these values.

This key lesson from him is very well captured by his favorite verse given below:

दुख भी मानव की संपत्ति है, 
तू क्यों दुख से घबराता है |

दुख आया है तो जायेगा,
सुख आया है तो जायेगा, 

दुख जायेगा तो सुख देकर,

सुख जायेगा तो दुख देकर, 
सुख देकर जाने वाले से,
ए मानव क्यों भय खाता है |

सुख में है व्यसन प्रमाद भरे, 
दुख में पुरुषार्थ चमकता है
दुख कि ज्वाला में जलकर ही, 
कुंदन सा तेज दमकता है
सुख में सब भूले रहते है, 
दुख सबकी याद दिलाता है |

सुख संध्या का वह लाल क्षितिज, 
जिसके पश्चात अँधेरा है
दुख प्रातः का झुटपुटा समय,
जिसके पश्चात सवेरा है
दुख का अभ्यासी मानव ही, 
सुख पर अधिकार जमाता है |

दुख के सम्मुख जो सिहर उठे, 
उनको इतिहास न जान सका
दुख में जो कर्मठ धीर रहे, 
उनको ही जग पहचान सका
दुख एक कसौटी है जिस पर,
ये मानव परखा जाता है |

Listen to my father reciting this song in his own voice:

In Line of Fire

Vivek was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the AC compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and was still not entitled to Air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do!

As he settled down, he opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country, sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stockily built like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me", the man continued, "you sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naiveness demanded reasoning not anger.

"It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it."

For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Life cycle but restrained himself to a single statement, "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid", came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in. Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office, does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle, we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He could see, he had the man where he wanted, and it was time to drive home the point. "Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrently, data integrity, locking, data security. Do you Understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was awestruck, quite like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things?"

"I used to", Vivek paused for effect, "but now I am the Project Manager."

"Oh!", sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, "Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality."

He continued, "To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his requirements, the user at the other wanting something else, and your boss, always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with Self-realization. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth.

"My friend", he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire".

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization.

When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

He was staring blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tri-colour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..?"

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft assignment. But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib refused me permission and went ahead himself.
He said that the first pledge he had taken as a gentleman cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded. His own personal safety came last, always and every time."

"He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir.. I know, what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life, which he had so far attributed only to epic heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tri-colour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.

It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

Don't Give Up

I went to watch a local football match in a neighborhood school ground. As I sat down, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

With a smile, he replied; "They are leading us 3-0" !

And I said, “Really ! I have to say you don't look discouraged.”

"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look, “Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle? I have confidence in the team and the managers; We shall definitely overcome!”

Truly, the match ended 5-4 in favor of the boy's team!

He waved at me gently, with a beautiful smile as he left. I was amazed, mouth wide open at such confidence and such beautiful faith.

As I got back home that night, his question kept coming back to me, "Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle?"

Life is like a game. Why should you be discouraged when the Almighty God is your manager? Why should you be discouraged, while there's still life? Why should you be discouraged when your final whistle has not sounded?

The truth is that many people blow the final whistle themselves. But as long as there is life, nothing is impossible and it is never too late for you. Half time is not full time. Don't blow the whistle on yourself.

Don’t give up, and keep your faith. With sincere efforts, all things are still possible!

I will leave you to enjoy this song that captures the thought really beautifully.  

रुक जाना नहीं तू कही हार के
काँटों पे चल के मिलेंगे साये बहार के |

Happy Father's Day

Today is Father's day. Here is a beautiful poem by Om Vyas Om (re-arranged a bit) to express my feelings on this occasion:

पिता अँगुली पकडे बच्चे का सहारा है,
पिता कभी कुछ खट्टा कभी खारा है,

पिता से ही बच्चों के ढेर सारे सपने हैं,
पिता है तो बाज़ार के सब खिलौने अपने हैं,

पिता…पिता अप्रदर्शित-अनंत प्यार है,
पिता है तो बच्चों को इंतज़ार है,

पिता…पिता जीवन है, सम्बल है, शक्ति है,
पिता…पिता सृष्टी मे निर्माण की अभिव्यक्ती है,

पिता…पिता पालन है, पोषण है, परिवार का अनुशासन है,
पिता…पिता धौंस से चलना वाला प्रेम का प्रशासन है,

पिता…पिता रोटी है, कपडा है, मकान है,
पिता…पिता छोटे से परिंदे का बडा आसमान है,

पिता से परिवार में प्रतिपल राग है,
पिता से ही माँ की बिंदी और सुहाग है,

पिता अपनी इच्छाओं का हनन और परिवार की पूर्ती है,
पिता…पिता रक्त निगले हुए संस्कारों की मूर्ती है,

पिता…पिता एक जीवन को जीवन का दान है,
पिता…पिता दुनिया दिखाने का एहसान है,

वो खुशनसीब हैं माँ-बाप जिनके साथ होते हैं,
क्योंकि माँ-बाप के आशिषों के हाथ हज़ारों हाथ होते हैं

Yes, I Have Changed

A friend teased me with a gibe, “You have changed now, are no longer what you were in good old past.” Usually, I tend to feel bad about such gibes, but this time, it got me thinking, “Is it really bad to change?” As I took a closer look, it was clear that I have changed over the years, but it is a mixed bag. In certain aspects, age has mellowed me down, while in others I have become more assertive. I find myself expressing vociferously on certain issues, whereas just shrugging and remaining silent at others. There are times when I just go crazy and times when I display wisdom. I list below many ways in which I have changed, and some of them are still work-in-progress.

Yes, I have changed. After years of loving my parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, finally I have learnt to start loving myself. I have realised that I do not have to act as if the burden of the whole world rests on my shoulders, and have started doing things that helps me create a happier life for myself and for those around me. After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself.

I have learnt not to bother about my creased shirt or mismatched trouser. After all, personality speaks louder than appearances. I don't bother if my face is unshaven, or my hair have streaks of gray in them. After all beauty of my soul outshines the beauty of my face.

I am learning not to let others make me feel incompetent, as I am not only what they see in me. I might not be good at certain things but I am excellent at others. I walk away from people who don't value me, since they might not know my worth, but I do. I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race; I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.

I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. it's my emotions that make me human. I now tell people if I like them, there is nothing wrong in liking someone.

I have stopped telling the elderly that they have already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down the memory lane and relive the past. I have learn not to correct people even when I know they are wrong; the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection. I started giving compliments freely and generously, since it is a great mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me.

I now stopped bargaining with poor vegetables and fruits vendors. After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his kid’s school fees. I pay the cab driver and walk away without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me.

I have learnt to live each day as if it were the last. Who knows, it might be the last.

Yes, I have changed, and I am loving the new me!

The Power of Prayer

We know that prayer is a good practice, but do we really believe that prayers are answered? Are we not somewhat skeptical about how much it can help us? Read this inspiring story below that illustrates the true power of prayer.

Rahul was on his way to airport to catch a flight to Mumbai. This trip to Mumbai was important for him, as he was going to give the keynote address in a prestigious conference there. His presence was very much needed in Mumbai. Unfortunately, he got stuck in the Delhi traffic for more than one hour, and as he was about to lose hope of catching the flight, his car reached the airport. He came out quickly and rushed inside airport, and managed to reach the check-in counter in time. The airline staff helped him to go through the security quickly, and finally he boarded the plane, feeling relieved that he did not miss the flight.

As the flight took off, Rahul tried to catch some sleep. As a doctor, he had such a hectic schedule, that he used to look for all such opportunity to catch a few moments for himself.

His nap was interrupted about an hour later, as the captain was making an announcement. The weather was poor with heavy storm and lightening, and it was no longer possible to keep flying under the conditions. As a safety measure, the flight was being diverted to Surat and will wait there till the weather is clear.

He contacted the airline staff to check when are they expecting to fly again, but did not get a firm answer.  He complained in vain that every minute is valuable for him, and he must reach Mumbai today.

While he was thinking about what to do, a fellow passenger recognized him, “Dr Rahul Rastogi, the famous liver specialist, so nice to meet you sir!  Mumbai is not very far from here. You can take a taxi and go by road, it will take just about five hours. Rahul thanked him and started for Mumbai by road.

But the weather was bad; heavy rains and storm made it almost impossible to move forward on the road. The cab driver was trying his best to keep driving despite the challenging weather, but he was barely able to see the road. Suddenly, he noticed that they are alone on the road – there was no traffic around. Then he realized that he has missed taking a turn, and has lost his way. It was a deserted street, and there was nobody around to ask directions. The driver kept moving ahead with the hope of finding someone.

That’s when they came across a ray of hope – there was an isolated house on the side of road. Feeling relieved, he stopped the car in front of the house. Rahul got out of the cab and knocked the door.

“Come in. The door is open.”

As he went in, he saw an old woman, around 75 years old, who was sitting in prayer. Rahul waited patiently for her to finish her prayer, and then asked her:

“Maa ji, I have lost my way, and am stranded here. Can I use your phone please?”

The woman smiled, “Beta, I do not have phone or electricity here. This is a remote village. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Let me give you something to eat and drink. Rest for a while before you continue your journey.”

She  got up and brought some food and tea for him. Rahul was feeling exhausted, so he thanked her profusely for the courtesy. While he was sipping the tea, he noticed a small kid wrapped in a blanket on a cot. 

Feeling refreshed after the tea, he said, “Maa ji, I am grateful for your kindness and help. I saw you praying when I came in. Please pray for me too, that the weather gets clear and I find my way. I am quite hopeful that your prayer will be accepted.”

She said in a humble tone, “I did not do any special favor. You are my guest, and God wants us to take good care of our guests. I will pray for you as well, God is great. He has always given me whatever I have asked for. I just have one more wish, I am sure He will fulfill it soon”

“What are you praying for?”, asked Rahul.
She said, “This is my grandson whom you see lying on the cot. He has lost both his parents, and I am solely responsible for him. Doctor says he has a serious liver disease, that they cannot treat here. When I asked them who can treat him, they named a famous doctor in Delhi, Dr Rastogi if I remember correctly. I do not know how to reach Dr Rastogi, and even if I take him there, will he agree to treat him? I am in a real difficult situation and I was praying to God to show me the way.”
Suddenly, there were tears in Rahul’s eyes, and as he tried to say something, he felt himself choking. With a lot of difficulty, he managed to utter a few words.

“Maa ji, God is great. He listened to your prayer, and created bad weather that grounded the plane, made me lose my way, so that I reach here on my own. I am Dr Rahul Rastogi, I consider myself fortunate to be able to treat your grandson.

I am not a religious person, but I have just experienced the power of prayer.”

As he looked outside the window, the weather had already started to clear up.

Are You Comfortable?

The importance of effort and hard work in life is well understood. We work hard to get good education, build up a career, family and home. However, there comes a stage when we get a feeling that 'we have arrived', and this leads to gradual settling down in our comfort zone. As we begin to feel comfortable, it takes away intensity from our efforts. If we want to fly higher and achieve more, we should learn to recognize our comfort zones and should come out of them quickly. Do not stop learning, trying, growing.. ever. Here is a beautiful story sent by Pratha that illustrates this point very well.

King Chandragupt received a gift of two magnificent falcons from a court visitor. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to Mahendra, his bird keeper and asked him to train them.

Months passed, and one day Mahendra informed Chandragupt that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

He asked his court members to try and help the bird fly, but as he looked through the palace window day after day, the bird still did not move from its perch. The king was getting curious now. He summoned healers and sorcerers from everywhere to cure the falcon, but no one could understand the ailment of the bird and make it fly.

Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, “May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem.” So he cried out to his court, “Go and get a farmer.” He showed the bird to the farmer and described the problem to him.

"Do you know what's wrong with this bird? Can you help fix it?", asked the king.

"Maharaj, I will give it a try. I think I understand the problem.", said the farmer.

Next morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, “Bring me the doer of this miracle.” The court members quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king.

The king asked him, “How did you make the falcon fly?”

With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, “It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird was sitting.”

There is a great lesson in this story for us. We are all made to fly high — to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But at times we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us, our comfort zones. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, and the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

Let us learn to recognize the branch of our own comfort zone that we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight!


लोग यौं ही हैं झिझकते सोचते, जबकि उनको छोड़ना पड़ता है घर 
किन्तु घर का छोड़ना अक्सर उन्हें, बूँद लौं कुछ और ही देता है कर !

Think carefully, "Are you comfortable?"

A Password with Meaning

I was deeply depressed after a recent bitter fight with my close friend Deepak. I thought all day long about how badly he had treated me. I was filled with a lot of hurt and unhappiness within me. I knew that the right way to move forward is to forgive him, but it looked impossible to get myself to forgive.

I was still trying to recover from it, when I sat down at my desk and stared at the laptop screen. “Your password has expired, please change it”, a message flashed on the screen. In my company, we have to change our password every month. I remembered a tip I’d heard from a colleague, that we should try to choose a password that has some meaning. That way, it will be easy to remember, and we will repeat the meaningful phrase every time we unlock the screen.

So, I chose to go for a password with meaning. I was finding it impossible to concentrate on my work due to my painful memories. I decided to pick a password that will remind me that I should stop being a victim of my emotions, and be strong enough to handle them with maturity. I came up with the password – Forgive@him. I had to type this password several times a day, whenever my computer screen got locked. Every time I came back from lunch, I wrote ‘forgive him’. This simple action changed the way I looked at Deepak. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept the way things happened and helped me deal with my mood.

By the time the computer asked me to change the password again the following month, I already felt liberated from the feeling of hurt. I thought of what is the next important thing I want to do in life, and I picked up the password – Reduce#weight. By repeating it many times a day, I gradually found myself being more conscious of my diet and regular in my exercise program, and that helped in reducing my weight.

Next I chose Save&invest, as I was not good in financial matters. In next couple of months, I could improve on that front as well. I made it a habit to pick a meaningful password – a phrase that will constantly remind me about an important goal I want to achieve. These daily reminders kept me motivated and excited about my goal and helped me realize it.

This simple practice of using a password with meaning has changed my life for better. Why not try it and see what it can do for you?

After a couple of years, I changed my password to *LifeIsBeautiful*.

Sow Well, Reap Well

One of the basic principle of nature is - "As you sow, so shall you reap". The outcome in our life is a direct reflection of our thoughts and actions. Here is an inspiring tale by Manohar Parrikar that illustrates this principle with a simple narrative.

My village is famous for its watermelons. When I was a child, the farmer would organize a watermelon-eating contest at the end of the harvest season in May. All the kids would be invited to eat as many watermelons as they wanted. It was an event that we used to eagerly look forward to every year.

Years later, I went to IIT Mumbai to study engineering. I went back to my village after six years. All this while, the taste of watermelons was still fresh in my memory. I went to the market looking for watermelons. They were all gone. The ones that were there were so small and relatively tasteless.

This surprised me, and I went to see one of the farmer who hosted the watermelon-eating contest. His son had taken over. He would still host the contest every year but there was a difference. When the older farmer gave us watermelons to eat he would ask us to spit out the seeds into a bowl. We were told not to bite into the seeds. He collected the seeds for his next crop. We were unpaid child workers, actually. He kept his best watermelons for the contest and he got the best seeds which would yield even bigger watermelons the next year.

His son, when he took over, realized that the larger watermelons would fetch more money in the market so he sold the larger ones and kept the smaller ones for the contest. The next year, the watermelons were smaller, the year later even smaller. In watermelons the generation is one year. In seven years, Parra's best watermelons were finished.

This story has a very powerful lesson. If we want to enjoy the fruit of success in life, we need to constantly work towards it, and sow good seeds with our constant efforts and good thoughts. This is the principle of nature. If you want to do well in academics, it is imperative that you study hard on a regular basis. If you want to excel in a sport, you must train regularly. If you want to be a good musician, you have to do your regular riyaz. You should not expect success if you have not put in the required effort for it. Similarly, if we want our children to grow up to be good humans, we have to impart good values in them in their childhood. We have to teach them with our own example.

Kabir has expressed this natural principle very well in this couplet:

करता रहा सो क्यों रहा,
अब करी क्यों पछताए |
बोये पेड़ बबूल का,
अमुआ कहा से पाए |

Meena Jain has a very inspiring comment to add to this:
If you you sow honesty, you will reap trust.
If you sow goodness, you will reap friends.
If you sow humility, you will reap greatness.
If you sow perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you sow consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you sow hard work, you will reap success.
If you sow forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you sow openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you sow patience, you will reap improvements.
If you sow faith, you will reap miracles.

But

If you sow dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you sow selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you sow pride, you will reap destruction.
If you sow jealousy, you will reap trouble.

Do not Leave Your Page Blank

An student posed a very interesting challenge to the examiner - he left his answer sheet blank and wrote at the last page - pass me if you can.

If this joke brought a smile on your face, just pause and ponder - very often, we do the same with our lives. Pressures of modern times do not leave us with any free time to enjoy life, and the most common regret people have in old age is that they could not live their life fully.

मेरा जीवन कोरा कागज़ कोरा ही रह गया

Think carefully, it is not due to external pressures, but it is our own choice not to live life fully. As we start our life, we have a blank page – like a blank answer sheet in a test. During our lifetime, we have the job of filling up the page with the story of our life. It’s our story, so we get to decide what happens in it - not just have life happen to us. We can choose to live life in the way we want, not just go through it.

How can we create an inspiring and impactful story for ourselves? Imagine you are a writer working on an article for a magazine. As you sit down to write it, first of all you need to decide the topic you want to discuss. Once you have chosen the topic, your thoughts get focused on that specific topic, ideas start flowing, and your writing becomes coherent and inspiring. In the absence of such a focus, your thoughts and ideas may drift here and there, and you may find it hard to complete the article or come out with something which is not interesting to read.

Similarly, you need to discover your mission or purpose in life to get the most out of your time. Once we are clear about our purpose, we will know what are the most important or essential things in our life. If we consciously devote time to what is important for us, we will make our life beautiful and will no longer feel that we don’t have time to enjoy life.  

So, what we fill on the page of our life is our own deliberate choice. Don't just drift away in life. Choose to live a purposeful life. Decide what is important for you and focus on it. Fill up your page with activity, hard work, achievement, laughter, love, kindness, friendship. Don't leave this page blank and expect God to give you happiness.

Why all this Noise about Getting Married?

If you are an eligible bachelor, you can easily relate to it. It seems you cannot have an intelligent conversation with anyone in the family for thirty minutes without the other person popping the question, "so, when are you getting married?"

You are no doubt on the verge of getting fed up with so much noise (shor) about marriage. You know that marriage is on the cards, but you do not want to rush into it. You want to be careful about this decision and find the perfect person before you take the plunge. You may also have many related concerns, like the following:

• Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?
• This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?
• How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?
• I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.

If you got interested and are reading this post to find an answer, let us listen to this iconic song from the movie Shor together;





The meaningful words of this song may hold the key to your queries. Am I kidding? No, I am serious. This song tells you that it is not as complicated as you think, and mutual love can answer most of your concerns. Let me dissect it verse by verse to illustrate my point.

Relax. Take it Easy
Concern: Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?

एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Life is a beautiful ode of love.. a flow of lovely waves.. It is only as complex as you decide to make it. Do not overburden yourself with the expectations imposed by others. It is your story, and the two of you choose what to write in it, simple.


Change is for Good
Concern: This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?

कुछ पाकर खोना है, कुछ खोकर पाना है
जीवन का मतलब तो आना और जाना है
दो पल के जीवन से, इक उम्र चुरानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Agreed, life changes after marriage and you lose your bachelor life, but look at the companionship that you get in return. A loving, caring and understanding partner for whole life. The joy that your kids give you, is something that is to be experienced; it cannot be described in words. So, the change that you undergo is for your own good.

The Perfect Couple
Concern: How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?

तू धार है नदिया की, मैं तेरा किनारा हूँ
तू मेरा सहारा है, मैं तेरा सहारा हूँ
आँखों में समंदर है, आशाओं का पानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

It is not necessary that your partner must be your replica in every aspect to be compatible with you. In fact, such as exact match may be often counter-productive in marriage. People with complementary strengths and interests often make a more interesting couple. If one partner is river, other can be the shore; however, it is important to be a pillar of strength and support to each other.  

There will be Challenges
Concern: I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.

तूफ़ान को आना है, आ कर चले जाना है
बादल है ये कुछ पल का, छा कर ढल जाना है
परछाईयाँ रह जाती, रह जाती निशानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Do not worry about conflicts, they are inevitable in marriage, but will pass on their own. Keep your focus on the bond of love between the two of you, and the occasional conflicts will be reduced to temporary storms in your life. Resolve not to take any tiff to heart.

There can be more questions in your mind, but you can answer them yourself by following the simple philosophy of this beautiful song:

एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Live Life.. One Weekend at a Time

After a hectic week at work, weekend is the time to unwind and live the life you want. But some of us are too busy in our work to enjoy life even on weekends. You have no time to spend on yourself, no time to spend with family, no time to catch up with friends. If you are one of those ‘super busy’ people, do read this post. I know you have a very good reason for all the work, but this post is written specially for you.

Think about it, why are you not able find time to enjoy your weekend as you like? Why do we choose to work like dogs in our prime years of life? How much of is the real need and how much of it is driven by our never ending desires?

Can we not spare two days a week for self, family, and friends? Why can't we enjoy simultaneously while we work hard to earn?   

You may say, I work hard for a bright future for my family. Most of us have a small family – a single kid or two kids at most. Do we think our next generation would be incapable to earn, that we save so much for them? How many generations do we want to feed?

You may say, “I am earning to save for a house, a car, or kid’s wedding. Think again. Are we earning to pay builders and interior designers, caterers, and decorators?  Whom do we want to impress with our highly inflated house properties and fat weddings? Do you remember for more than two days what you ate at someone's marriage?

We don't own a property we just have temporary name on documents. When I say, "I am the owner of this land", I can feel a smile coming on God’s lips.

How can we judge a person’s worth by the length of his car? I remember my awesome science and maths teachers vividly. They were all great human beings riding on scooters who changed my life forever.   

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that it is bad to be rich, but it is very unfair to yourself, to be only rich.

Do you spend even 5% of your monthly income for self-enjoyment?  Usually no! Is the money really buying you happiness?

One day, time runs out and each one us has to go. No one on his deathbed ever regrets that he could not spend enough time at office. Instead, most common regret is that I could not live the life fully. I could not fulfill my dream.

So, wake up now before time runs out! Spare time to enjoy before you have slipped discs and cholesterol blocks in your heart!


Let's resolve to live life, one weekend at a time, before life gets us.

---

About this Post

I was looking for a suitable title for this post. Thanks Himani Gupta for coining the slogan, "Live Life.. One Weekend at a Time", that became a fitting title.

These beautiful lines capture the thought really well. Thanks Rajesh Verma for sending these.

सुनो....!
बरसों से
बचा बचा के,
कई घंटे इकट्ठा किए थे.......
मन में जोड़ के,
दिन भी बना लिए थे कई....
सोचा था
निकल पड़ूँगा.......
दिल खोल के खरचूँगा
घूमूँगा जियूँगा,
जो चाहे जी करूँगा......
आज मन पक्का करके
तोड़ी गुल्लक,
तो पता चला
बीता समय.......
आज में नहीं चलता.......!!!

Prayer as a Last Resort

There was a sailor who was taking a group of young students on a day trip in the ocean. Before commencing the journey, he started by saying a prayer. When the young passengers saw it, they laughed at him, “The day is fine and sunny, and the sea is calm. What’s the need of a prayer in such good conditions?”

However, soon afterwards, a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. This terrified the passengers so much that they started praying for their safety. Some of them came to the sailor and asked him to join in the prayers.

The sailor replied, “I say my prayers when it is calm. When it is rough, it is time to attend to the boat.”

This simple story has a great lesson for us. If we cannot remember God in quiet moments of our lives, we are not likely to find Him when trouble strikes, and are more prone to panic. Only if we learn to seek Him and develop a solid faith during quiet moments, then we will most certainly find Him helping us during turbulence.

Make a habit of thanking God and praying every day when the going is good, as you never know when the situation may change. We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but it should be our first line of defense. We pray when there is nothing else we can do; but why not pray before we do anything at all. If we keep our faith, and pray during happy times, God will help us resolve our issues in a timely manner so that we do not have to experience a crisis. Five hundred years back, Sant Kabir expressed it beautifully in the following couplet: 

दुःख में सुमरन सब करें, सुख में करे न कोय
जो सुख में सुमरन करे, तो दुःख काहे को होय

Sky is The Limit

Ritesh was studying in seventh standard. He was well aware that his poor father had difficult time making the ends meet with his little income, still somehow managed to put him in a public school. After school hours Ritesh tried to earn money to fund his education by doing odd jobs and working as a waiter in a roadside restaurant at night.

One day the English teacher asked the class to write an essay on “My Dream”. As Ritesh walked back from school, he kept thinking about the topic and got quite charged up about it. After work, he started writing the essay in night.

“My dream is to build a 200 acre farm which will have 50 fine horses. It will have a lavish farmhouse in the center in which I will live.”, he wrote.

Then as he went on writing further, his imagination started taking wings and he described the farm in vivid detail. He covered the design of the farm and the breed and specialty of the horses. The essay was already ten pages long, but he was going on with his writing. He got so absorbed in narrating his dream that he could not sleep that night.

Next day, he submitted the essay to the teacher with pride and enthusiasm. His anticipation was that his essay would stand apart from all other students, the teacher will give him good grades. However, when the teacher returned the assignment, he was surprised to see that he was failed. His eyes were filled with tears and he went to the teacher to ask what was wrong with his essay.

The teacher said, “You know you are from a poor family, even daily bread in a challenge for you. In spite of doing jobs after school, you find it hard to earn enough money for school fees every month. How can you think about a big farm like this? Can you afford to buy even one horse? I am giving you one more chance to re-write your essay. This time write about something that is feasible for you to achieve. You should not have such unrealistic dreams that are impossible to fulfill.”

Ritesh was completely devastated. He could not go to his daily jobs that day. He slowly walked back to home and narrated the disappointing episode to his father.

His father said, “Son, you are the sole owner of your dreams. No one else has right to decide what you can or cannot dream. Dream as big as you want, and make every possible effort to realize your dreams.”

This affirmation acted like magic for his confidence. Next day, Ritesh took the same essay to the teacher and said, “I accept the grades that you have given me, but I cannot compromise with my dreams just to get a better grade.”

When it comes to dreams - sky is the limit.

Your dreams should not be limited by your age, sex, caste, religion, and status. The belief in your own capabilities and potential should be the real factor that determines your dreams. Dream big, else you are underestimating your own potential.

The Beggar's Secret

Vaishali was in the grip of a dry spell that year. There was no rain for months.. no crop as a result. People did not have enough to eat or drink. King Siddharth was trying his best to help, but still could not do much in the face of such a natural calamity. He used to go on regular rounds to get first hand information of the situation on the ground, and it had become a depressing ritual now. Wherever he went, he encountered misery, hunger, cries, and gloomy faces. The situation was hopeless and was getting more and more desperate every day. Every one was praying for just one thing - rains.

So Siddharth was obviously surprised when he noticed a man sitting under a tree, smiling and singing a song. The sight of the happy man continued to haunt him that day and he made it a point to visit that area next day. The man was there, sitting confidently under the tree, smiling and singing like previous day. Siddharth kept watching him with amazement for a long time.. and then came back wondering about him. He observed the man for next several days.. and he remained equally happy on all occasions.

"What is the secret of his happiness?", This question started dominating Siddharth's mind so much that he found it hard to concentrate on anything else. He started seeing the smiling man in his dreams as well. Finally he decided to find the answer of this question troubling him and approached the man on his next round of state. As he went near the man, he noticed for the first time that the man was holding a begging bowl in his hand. "He is a beggar.. still he is so happy, how?", the king's curiosity got further multiplied.

He asked the beggar, "Whenever I pass from here, I see you being happy, while everyone else is miserable. I myself am not happy even if I have money, expensive cloths, palace, family and power. You don't have anything.. what is the secret of your happiness in spite of such a gloomy situation?"

The beggar said, "My happiness is based on two simple beliefs:

1. God gifts challenges to each of us depending on our capacity. Bigger challenges are given to those who are more capable.
2. Every new challenge we encounter makes us stronger."

"Okay, how does that make you happy?", the king was getting more curious now.

The beggar continued, "Whenever I face more hardships than others, I feel satisfied that I am the chosen one, since I am stronger. This makes me happy and lets me focus on facing the situation with confidence. Once I cross the difficult situation, I feel good that I am stronger now."

"I believe that wherever I am, in howsoever challenging situation, is the right one for me. All I need to do is to just put in my best effort in the situation and there is no point worrying about it. These thoughts act as a warm positive protective cover for me, that shields me from feeling miserable and keeps my happiness intact."

If a beggar can feel happy in spite of having every reason to feel miserable, what is preventing you and me from adopting the same attitude?

Destiny or Action?

My friend Hasit is a wise man with knowledge about a wide range of topics. He is always ready to engage in intelligent discussion at the drop of a hat. People meeting him for the first time get really impressed with his thinking.

One day, we started chatting on the controversial topic of karma and destiny. I triggered the discussion with a loaded question, "Hasit, what plays more important role in our life - luck, prayer or efforts?"

Hasit seemed to be ready for a long chat, "Actions sure play a vital role in your success. Nothing is ever gained without making efforts."

"But not all efforts bear success", I countered, "So, may be luck is the determining factor."

Hasit replied with a question, "Is everything in life pre-destined like a script? We can influence our life with our actions, isn't it?"

We went on and on and during next few minutes, explored different arguments and examples in favor of different opinions; the discussion warmed up and became engaging.

Suddenly Hasit's face lit up and he said,"The answer to this puzzle can be found in the way a bank locker works.”

I responded with a question mark on my face.

Hasit smiled and continued, "As you know, a bank locker has two keys. One key is kept with the bank, and second key is given to the customer. When you want to open the locker, you insert your key in the locker, and the bank manager puts his key in. Either of the keys is not sufficient to open the locker on its own. You need to have both the keys”

"In the same way, efforts and destiny are two keys of the locker. If you want to open it, you need to have both the keys."

This thought got me excited, "You are right. We get the desired results when we put in the efforts and the time is right. i.e. both the keys are there. At times, we put in efforts, but do not succeed because the other "key" is missing. There are also times when we fail to take advantage of an opportunity that fate has given us by not taking the proper step from our side." 

"But who if the bank manager in this case?", I asked, getting further interested in the chat.

Hasit replied, "It has to be God. He holds the bank's key. we don’t know when the Almighty puts his key in, so our best strategy is to keep our key always handy. Keep doing efforts on all the time, so that you are ready when God brings in His key, i.e. fortune favors you.”

This made a lot of sense to me. But I wanted to discuss it further, "That's right, but where does prayer fit in this picture? How do we get desired results by praying?"

By this time Hasit was fully clear about it. He replied,"Let us see.. when we go to the bank to operate the locker, we request the manager to come and put in his key. Prayer is like that request to God. When the prayers are granted, God puts in his key."

We did not stop at this, and continued our lively discussion on this interesting subject.

Both of us were feeling great on coming up with such a beautiful interpretation of the relationship between karma and destiny.

Use All Your Strength

A young girl and her father were taking a walk in a garden when they came across a large tree branch that had fallen on the ground.

The girl asked her father, "If I try, do you think I can move this branch?"

Her father replied, "I am sure you can if you use all your strength."

The girl tried her best to lift or push the branch, but she was not strong enough and she could not move it.

She said, with disappointment, "You were wrong, dad. I can't move it."

"Try again with all your strength", replied her father.

Again the girl tried hard to push the branch. She struggled but it did not budge an inch.

"Dad, I cannot do it", said the girl, frustrated by now, "what are you trying to do?"

Finally, her father said, "Young lady, I advised you to use all your strength. You didn't. You didn't ask for my help, which was available to you."

In this simple story lies a big lesson about importance of interdependence.

We all like to be independent - "I can do it on my own", which is good, but our real strength lies in interdependence - "We can do it much better together". None of us may have all the strength, capabilities, and wisdom required to attain a big goal alone, but if we work together and combine our talents in a team, no goal is too hard to achieve.

Remember, when we ask for help and support, it is not a sign of weakness, but it shows our wisdom.