It is widely believed that our success is largely dependent on the level of our intelligence. You can picture that the most intelligent, brainy, and bright people crack all the tests and get all the opportunities to go ahead, while those with lesser IQ stay behind. No doubt IQ is an important factor for our success; however, as we look around, we may spot several contradictions to the belief. We may find many successful people with average intelligence, with a knack of always saying and doing the right thing. Similarly we may come across many bright and intelligent people who are not very successful as they give in to their moods and act impulsively. Is this just a matter of chance or is there something else at play here?
This questions perplexed scientists till they discovered Emotional Intelligence that provided a vital clue to solve this puzzle. They found that our ability to deal well with emotions is an equally vital indicator of our effectiveness. They even carried out studies showing that even if you have a high IQ, you have a small chance of outperforming those who have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Thus Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is more important for success than IQ. It is an essential life skill that was not very well understood and acknowledged till recently. Can we measure EQ? Can we do something to improve our EQ? Fortunately, the answer is yes for both the questions.
Emotional Intelligence is broadly defined as our ability to understand and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. Dr Travis Bradberry and Dr Jeans Greaves have been actively providing training to people on how to enhance Emotional Intelligence, and they have captured their knowledge in a very useful book titled “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who wants to work on EQ enhancement. According to the authors, any stimulus first triggers an emotion in us, and we humans are hardwired to give an impulsive, automatic, emotional reaction to it. The automatic reaction is not the optimal response required in most cases. So, replacing the automatic reaction with a conscious, carefully thought out response as a matter of habit is the skill that we need to build.
What I liked most about this book is that Drs Bradberry and Greaves have created this book not as a work of theory, but as a self-paced practical training program to improve your Emotional Intelligence. The reader is introduced to the constituent skills of Emotional Intelligence and encouraged to take up an on-line test at the start to find his EQ score. He also gets a customized recommendation about which skill he should work on first to get maximum benefit. For improving each of the skills, the book gives a number of practical strategies that can be applied in everyday life. So, from a passive reader, you turn into an active participant in the improvement process. After you have worked on the program for a few months, you are encouraged to take the EQ test again and verify your progress. Needless to say, even before you take the second test, you can start seeing the benefits of the improved EQ in everyday life.
According to the book, Emotional Intelligence has following four component skills:
Since Emotional Intelligence is such an important skill, ideally it should be taught in schools so that kids master this essential skill very early in life. Unfortunately, the academic world is single-mindedly focused on test grades and academic achievement, and the soft-skills are often neglected in the process or given a lip service at best.
While the education system takes time to wake up to the importance of Emotional Intelligence, let us make effort to educate ourselves thoroughly about it and help our kids to develop a healthy EQ, an essential life skill that will go a long way to make them successful.
This questions perplexed scientists till they discovered Emotional Intelligence that provided a vital clue to solve this puzzle. They found that our ability to deal well with emotions is an equally vital indicator of our effectiveness. They even carried out studies showing that even if you have a high IQ, you have a small chance of outperforming those who have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Thus Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is more important for success than IQ. It is an essential life skill that was not very well understood and acknowledged till recently. Can we measure EQ? Can we do something to improve our EQ? Fortunately, the answer is yes for both the questions.
Emotional Intelligence is broadly defined as our ability to understand and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. Dr Travis Bradberry and Dr Jeans Greaves have been actively providing training to people on how to enhance Emotional Intelligence, and they have captured their knowledge in a very useful book titled “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who wants to work on EQ enhancement. According to the authors, any stimulus first triggers an emotion in us, and we humans are hardwired to give an impulsive, automatic, emotional reaction to it. The automatic reaction is not the optimal response required in most cases. So, replacing the automatic reaction with a conscious, carefully thought out response as a matter of habit is the skill that we need to build. What I liked most about this book is that Drs Bradberry and Greaves have created this book not as a work of theory, but as a self-paced practical training program to improve your Emotional Intelligence. The reader is introduced to the constituent skills of Emotional Intelligence and encouraged to take up an on-line test at the start to find his EQ score. He also gets a customized recommendation about which skill he should work on first to get maximum benefit. For improving each of the skills, the book gives a number of practical strategies that can be applied in everyday life. So, from a passive reader, you turn into an active participant in the improvement process. After you have worked on the program for a few months, you are encouraged to take the EQ test again and verify your progress. Needless to say, even before you take the second test, you can start seeing the benefits of the improved EQ in everyday life.
According to the book, Emotional Intelligence has following four component skills:
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is our ability to understand our emotions and our automatic reaction to a situation under the emotion. This is the first and the most fundamental emotional intelligence skill. Very often, we do not become aware of the fact that we are reacting under the influence of a strong emotion. When do we feel angry, frustrated, impatient, excited, or elated? What triggers these emotions in us and how do we feel when have these emotions? How do we naturally react? We become aware of our emotions as soon as we start observing our thoughts and behavior, and it paves the way for us to leverage our emotions constructively.
Self-management
Self-management is about taking time to think when we are hit by emotions, and produce a careful response in place of the automatic emotional reaction. As we apply some thought to the situation, it already starts to improve our ability to come out with a better response. Remember, we are not talking about suppressing the emotion altogether. The fact that we experienced an emotion, can provide us with some valuable information. Instead of killing the emotion and losing this information, we want to stay in sufficient control to carefully think and do what makes most sense in the given situation.
Social awareness
Social awareness is about being able to understand the emotions of others around us. What are they feeling about the situation? What are the emotions they are going through? Why are they saying or doing something? What are the verbal cues they are giving out, and what are the non-verbal cues visible from their body language, tone, expressions, etc? The single most important technique to improve social awareness is to listen intently to others. Drop all other thoughts from mind when you carefully listen to the other person with a sincere intent to understand.
Relationship management
Finally, it comes to managing your interactions with others well. You can easily see that good relationship management can make you more effective at work, home, and with friends. Armed with the first three skills, you take the steps necessary to have a positive interaction with others and use it to build up a healthy relationship over time. In case of a clash of opinion, you use this skill to manage your emotions and have a constructive dialog for a mutually agreeable solution.
Sharpen your Emotional Intelligence - Today
If you have not yet consciously thought about your Emotional Intelligence, now is the time to do so. Do take time to read and learn about it as much as you can. If you think there is a need to improve it, work on the improvements. It is never too late to develop this skill, and it promises a more rewarding and fulfilling life to you.
Since Emotional Intelligence is such an important skill, ideally it should be taught in schools so that kids master this essential skill very early in life. Unfortunately, the academic world is single-mindedly focused on test grades and academic achievement, and the soft-skills are often neglected in the process or given a lip service at best.
While the education system takes time to wake up to the importance of Emotional Intelligence, let us make effort to educate ourselves thoroughly about it and help our kids to develop a healthy EQ, an essential life skill that will go a long way to make them successful.
Good news is that today’s generation Y already has better EQ than what I had when I was young. It can be a sign of the times, an effect of gradual evolution, or a result of their better social connectivity; whatever is the reason, I am not complaining.
Sanjay sir: Inspired by your writing, have ordered the book today.
ReplyDeleteThanks Moutushi.
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