Yes, I Have Changed

A friend teased me with a gibe, “You have changed now, are no longer what you were in good old past.” Usually, I tend to feel bad about such gibes, but this time, it got me thinking, “Is it really bad to change?” As I took a closer look, it was clear that I have changed over the years, but it is a mixed bag. In certain aspects, age has mellowed me down, while in others I have become more assertive. I find myself expressing vociferously on certain issues, whereas just shrugging and remaining silent at others. There are times when I just go crazy and times when I display wisdom. I list below many ways in which I have changed, and some of them are still work-in-progress.

Yes, I have changed. After years of loving my parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, finally I have learnt to start loving myself. I have realised that I do not have to act as if the burden of the whole world rests on my shoulders, and have started doing things that helps me create a happier life for myself and for those around me. After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself.

I have learnt not to bother about my creased shirt or mismatched trouser. After all, personality speaks louder than appearances. I don't bother if my face is unshaven, or my hair have streaks of gray in them. After all beauty of my soul outshines the beauty of my face.

I am learning not to let others make me feel incompetent, as I am not only what they see in me. I might not be good at certain things but I am excellent at others. I walk away from people who don't value me, since they might not know my worth, but I do. I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race; I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.

I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. it's my emotions that make me human. I now tell people if I like them, there is nothing wrong in liking someone.

I have stopped telling the elderly that they have already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down the memory lane and relive the past. I have learn not to correct people even when I know they are wrong; the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection. I started giving compliments freely and generously, since it is a great mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me.

I now stopped bargaining with poor vegetables and fruits vendors. After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his kid’s school fees. I pay the cab driver and walk away without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me.

I have learnt to live each day as if it were the last. Who knows, it might be the last.

Yes, I have changed, and I am loving the new me!

Thoughts On Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to all of you!

We are celebrating 75 years of independence today. I was born in free India, so I have not experienced how it felt before independence, but I can easily imagine the excitement people of that time must have felt. It has been a long journey… we have come so far in these 75 years. Still as you look back, it is very likely that you may feel less than satisfied at our present situation. Even after so many years India as a country is struggling with some very nagging problems, and successive governments have not been able to deal with these issues, inspite of making tall promises.

• Progress of country has been sluggish and choppy on almost all the fronts.
• Rampant poverty and inequality continues to stare us in the eyes even today.
• Despite having a right to education in the constitution, we have not yet managed to provide the benefit of education to a large section of our population.
• People in power have raised corruption to the level of an art. Nothing seems to work to tackle this menace.
• Black money continues to be a major problem that is impacting our systems.
• Party after party come and go, but none is able to provide good governance.
• Hatred between communities and religions is touching a new high.

I can go on and on. With so many issues, is there no hope for our country?  Will there be no change ever? When will we get the leader who will lift our country out of this mess? Is democracy to blame for it, and will we be better off having a benevolent dictator rule us?

To find answer to these questions, let us take a look at the independence movement. Our struggle for self-rule was started by a few passionate freedom fighters who gave up their lives in their fight for freedom, but it was obvious that this small spark, even if it was very bright,  could not shake the roots of the mighty British raj. This spark became a big fire only when the entire country woke up and joined the independence movement. Only then we could gain our long cherished freedom.

The same applies to today’s situation as well; only when all of us rise and join the movement for change, things will start to improve. If we do nothing and just criticize others, we are part of the problem, not the solution. Let us resolve to be the change that we want to see in our country. By taking a small step every day, each of us can contribute towards the betterment of the country. There are numerous ways we can contribute:

• Look at the ways you can help the poor around you. Can you not help their children get access to education? Just try, and you will find many ways to help those who are less privileged than you.
• We think that a strong leader will eliminate all corruption with a magic wand, but do we stop and think before bribing an official to get our work done. Why can’t we do our bit by being corruption-free ourselves in day-to-day life?
• Similarly, why don’t we decide to stop dealing in black money ourselves? It is this parallel economy that feeds the corruption in politics.
• Why can’t we resolve to not get biased by the hateful propaganda by political parties to divide people for their electoral gains?
• If the government does not perform, we have a right to make it accountable. Why do we not take the power of our vote seriously? If only the voter become vigilant, political parties will begin treating him with respect and will stop taking them for a ride with unrealistic promises. 

You may ask, why should I do all of this while the problem lies with politicians, bureaucrats, and the system in general? My logic is pretty simple. If your house is on fire, do you wait for others to extinguish it or do you spring to action yourself? Similarly, our country is facing problems today that are much bigger than a fire. We can’t sit idle doing nothing about these problems.

Let us take a pledge today to bring a change in our attitude and behavior, to become an active participant in the development process, not an observer and critic, and to make our contribution towards a better India each single day. If each one of us do it regularly, it will soon become a massive movement which will be unstoppable.

Finally, I am leaving you with a ghazal that captures this thought in a poetic manner.

रात में कौन वहां जाए जहाँ आग लगी |
सुबह अखबार में पढ़ लेंगे कहाँ आग लगी |

The Power of Prayer

We know that prayer is a good practice, but do we really believe that prayers are answered? Are we not somewhat skeptical about how much it can help us? Read this inspiring story below that illustrates the true power of prayer.

Rahul was on his way to airport to catch a flight to Mumbai. This trip to Mumbai was important for him, as he was going to give the keynote address in a prestigious conference there. His presence was very much needed in Mumbai. Unfortunately, he got stuck in the Delhi traffic for more than one hour, and as he was about to lose hope of catching the flight, his car reached the airport. He came out quickly and rushed inside airport, and managed to reach the check-in counter in time. The airline staff helped him to go through the security quickly, and finally he boarded the plane, feeling relieved that he did not miss the flight.

As the flight took off, Rahul tried to catch some sleep. As a doctor, he had such a hectic schedule, that he used to look for all such opportunity to catch a few moments for himself.

His nap was interrupted about an hour later, as the captain was making an announcement. The weather was poor with heavy storm and lightening, and it was no longer possible to keep flying under the conditions. As a safety measure, the flight was being diverted to Surat and will wait there till the weather is clear.

He contacted the airline staff to check when are they expecting to fly again, but did not get a firm answer.  He complained in vain that every minute is valuable for him, and he must reach Mumbai today.

While he was thinking about what to do, a fellow passenger recognized him, “Dr Rahul Rastogi, the famous liver specialist, so nice to meet you sir!  Mumbai is not very far from here. You can take a taxi and go by road, it will take just about five hours. Rahul thanked him and started for Mumbai by road.

But the weather was bad; heavy rains and storm made it almost impossible to move forward on the road. The cab driver was trying his best to keep driving despite the challenging weather, but he was barely able to see the road. Suddenly, he noticed that they are alone on the road – there was no traffic around. Then he realized that he has missed taking a turn, and has lost his way. It was a deserted street, and there was nobody around to ask directions. The driver kept moving ahead with the hope of finding someone.

That’s when they came across a ray of hope – there was an isolated house on the side of road. Feeling relieved, he stopped the car in front of the house. Rahul got out of the cab and knocked the door.

“Come in. The door is open.”

As he went in, he saw an old woman, around 75 years old, who was sitting in prayer. Rahul waited patiently for her to finish her prayer, and then asked her:

“Maa ji, I have lost my way, and am stranded here. Can I use your phone please?”

The woman smiled, “Beta, I do not have phone or electricity here. This is a remote village. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Let me give you something to eat and drink. Rest for a while before you continue your journey.”

She  got up and brought some food and tea for him. Rahul was feeling exhausted, so he thanked her profusely for the courtesy. While he was sipping the tea, he noticed a small kid wrapped in a blanket on a cot. 

Feeling refreshed after the tea, he said, “Maa ji, I am grateful for your kindness and help. I saw you praying when I came in. Please pray for me too, that the weather gets clear and I find my way. I am quite hopeful that your prayer will be accepted.”

She said in a humble tone, “I did not do any special favor. You are my guest, and God wants us to take good care of our guests. I will pray for you as well, God is great. He has always given me whatever I have asked for. I just have one more wish, I am sure He will fulfill it soon”

“What are you praying for?”, asked Rahul.
She said, “This is my grandson whom you see lying on the cot. He has lost both his parents, and I am solely responsible for him. Doctor says he has a serious liver disease, that they cannot treat here. When I asked them who can treat him, they named a famous doctor in Delhi, Dr Rastogi if I remember correctly. I do not know how to reach Dr Rastogi, and even if I take him there, will he agree to treat him? I am in a real difficult situation and I was praying to God to show me the way.”
Suddenly, there were tears in Rahul’s eyes, and as he tried to say something, he felt himself choking. With a lot of difficulty, he managed to utter a few words.

“Maa ji, God is great. He listened to your prayer, and created bad weather that grounded the plane, made me lose my way, so that I reach here on my own. I am Dr Rahul Rastogi, I consider myself fortunate to be able to treat your grandson.

I am not a religious person, but I have just experienced the power of prayer.”

As he looked outside the window, the weather had already started to clear up.

The Tea Spill

Imagine you are holding a cup of tea when someone comes along and pushes you or shakes your arm, causing you to spill the tea on the floor.

Ask yourself, why did I spill the tea ?

Well, because he bumped into me, of course.

Think carefully, is that the most appropriate answer?

You spilled the tea because there was tea in the cup.

If the cup contained milk, you would have spilled milk instead.

Whatever is inside the cup will come out.

Similarly, when life comes along and shakes you (which keeps happening every now and then), whatever is inside you will come out.

It is easy to fake it until you get rattled. So, you need to ask yourself, what is in my cup?

When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility? Or is it anger, bitterness, harsh words, and actions?

You have the choice.

Starting today, let us work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation for ourselves and kindness, gentleness, and love for others, and that is what will come out of it at the time of stress.