Positive Way to Handle Loss

When we face a substantial loss in life, it can be a difficult situation to handle indeed. As we come to know that something that was with us so far is no longer there, it causes us grief. Be it a financial loss, material loss, loss of health, lost relationship, or death of someone close, a loss can have devastating effect on us, leaving us to wonder why it had to happen to us. We refuse to accept it. In most cases we cannot reverse a loss; however, life must go on, so it is vital that we conduct ourselves calmly when faced with such a situation, and eventually come out of the grief caused by it. But it is easier said than done.

Very often, the fear of loss plays a greater havoc on our minds than the actual loss. It turns us into paranoids who worry constantly about each and every possibility of an adversity hitting us. This preoccupation with future robs us of our ability to enjoy our present. 

यहाँ हर शक्स हर पल हादसा होने से डरता है।
खिलौना है जो मिट्टी का फना होने से डरता है।

The best solution for tackling this fear and grief is provided by religion. I am not talking about any specific religion here. Every religion has recognized the need to handle loss, and recommended various ways to deal with it, which basically boil down to the following:

Faith

Have faith in the almighty God who is always on your side – if you have suffered a loss, it is His will, and He knows what He is doing.

Detachment  

Do not develop excessive attachment with wordly belongings that are going to be with you only temporarily.

As an example, see the following excerpts from Geeta that emphasizes the importance of detachment:

तुम्हारा क्या गया, जो तुम रोते हो? तुम क्या लाए थे, जो तुमने खो दिया? जो लिया यहीं से लिया। जो दिया, यहीं पर दिया।  जो आज तुम्हारा है, कल और किसी का था, परसों किसी और का होगा। तुम इसे क्यों अपना समझ कर मग्न हो रहे हो। न यह शरीर तुम्हारा है, न तुम शरीर के हो। यह अग्नि, जल, वायु, पृथ्वी, आकाश से बना है  और इसी में मिल जायेगा। परन्तु आत्मा स्थिर है।

You may or may not be a religious person, but when faced with a loss, give it a try and find out what it can do for you.  Besides religion, we can also use positive thinking to handle a loss and the fear of loss. We can also turn the fear of loss on its head, if we develop a mindset of always being prepared for it. Fear of death need not be the biggest fear in our mind when we realize that every life has to end in death. The day one is born, the countdown begins, then why fear something that has to happen sooner or later?

अरे पगले ये मत सोच कि ज़िन्दगी मे कितने पल हैं
पर ये देख कि हर पल मे कितनी ज़िन्दगी है  

A positive person believes that when we know about the temporary nature of the money, material comforts, health, and relationships, we should make the most of them while we have them. Let us make the best possible use of our life while we are still alive and not waste it away. Let us shower love and care on our loved ones now as we may not have this opportunity tomorrow. Let us enjoy the happiness we have today to the extent possible.

When we go through life with this approach, we develop an attitude of acceptance, and we will not be shocked when faced with a loss, as we will be mentally prepared for it.