Smita was traveling in a train. On next stop, an old grumpy woman
came and sat by her side, bumping into her with her numerous bags. Smita
felt the inconvenience, but just smiled and did not say anything. The
old woman got down on the next station.
Her friend
Sankalp who was sitting on the other side and observing all this with
growing irritation, asked her, “Why did you not speak up and say
something? You know that if you do nor assert yourself, people take you
for granted, just like this old woman did.”
Smita
responded with a smile, "Calm down Sankalp. It is not necessary to be
rude or argue over something so insignificant, our journey together is
so short. She already got down, and I too get off at the next stop."
Her
response deserves to be the golden yardstick for our daily behavior and
interactions. Let us ponder on the response once again: It is not necessary to argue over something so insignificant, our journey together is so short
If
each one of us could realize that our passage down here has such a
short duration; to darken it with quarrels, futile arguments, not
forgiving others, ingratitude and bad attitudes would be a waste of time
and energy.
Did someone break your heart? Be calm, the
journey is so short. Did someone betray, bully, cheat or humiliate you?
Be calm, forgive, the journey is so short. Whatever pain anyone serves
us, let's remember that our journey together is so short.
Let
us therefore be filled with gratitude and sweetness. Sweetness is a
virtue never likened to bad character nor cowardice, but better likened
to greatness. Our journey together down here is really short and cannot
be reversed. No one knows the duration of his journey. No one knows if
he will have to alight at the next stop. Let us therefore cherish and
hold on to friends and family! Let us be calm, respectful, kind,
thankful and forgiving to each other.
Because the journey together is so short..
हँसते गाते जहाँ से गुज़र,
दुनिया की तू परवा ना कर,
मुस्कुराते हुए दिन बिताना,
ज़िन्दगी एक सफ़र है सुहाना |
Karaoke singing has become very popular all over the world these days. You can encounter people crooning into microphone accompanied by recorded background music almost anywhere - in shopping malls, parties, bars and restaurants, and even in homes. Most people do not remember the lyrics, so it also includes display of lyrics on a screen to help the singer. If you have tried doing it, you would agree that it helps you shed your inhibition and sing with ease and feel like a pro. Also a song performed with the background music sounds more complete.
However, most people who try Karaoke for the first time feel uncomfortable about their experience. They usually complain that the background music track is going too fast or slow, or is not in right scale. Why? As they sing in their normal style, they find that the music is not matching their vocals properly, and it feels as if the music track has some problem.
Usually, it does not come out good at first, and then you try again and it gets better. You keep trying repeatedly and finally it comes out right. You may have also noticed the importance of riyaz in good singing. If you try a song that you have practiced earlier, you get a better outcome. The music track remains same, then what changes the situation here?
After a few Karaoke sessions, you realize that the background music track has been created to play a pre-set pattern of tone and rhythm at a fixed tempo. To give her best Karaoke performance, the singer must match the music with correct notes and rhythm. The music does not adjust to the singer; she must adjust to the music. A great performance results only when the singer ensures a perfect harmony between the music and her singing.
Despite everything, not all songs will come out perfectly, so you learn to ignore such song and go to the next one.
You may wonder, this is good discussion on Karaoke, but what has this got to do with life? If you look carefully, The Karaoke experience has an important life lesson hidden in it.
At times, people tend to blame the world out there for things that do not go well in life. Do not expect the world or life to change for you. Change yourself, and you will find yourself fitting better in the world. No point focusing on what is wrong ‘out there’, as you cannot change it. Instead, spend your energy on how you can sing more in-step with life.
If things do not come out good at first attempt, try again and it should get better. Do not give up. Keep trying repeatedly and finally it will come out right. Learn to prepare in advance and you will encounter fewer disappointments. Finally, not all days will be equally good in life. Learn to accept setbacks and move ahead.
Learn to ‘Karaoke’ well with life, and it will give you years of happiness and fun.
If you are an eligible bachelor, you can easily relate to it. It seems you cannot have an intelligent conversation with anyone in the family for thirty minutes without the other person popping the question, "so, when are you getting married?"
You are no doubt on the verge of getting fed up with so much noise (shor) about marriage. You know that marriage is on the cards, but you do not want to rush into it. You want to be careful about this decision and find the perfect person before you take the plunge. You may also have many related concerns, like the following:
Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?
This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?
How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?
I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.
If you got interested and are reading this post to find an answer, let us listen to this iconic song from the movie Shor together;
The meaningful words of this song may hold the key to your queries. Am I kidding? No, I am serious. This song tells you that it is not as complicated as you think, and mutual love can answer most of your concerns. Let me dissect it verse by verse to illustrate my point.
Relax. Take it Easy Concern: Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?
एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है
Life is a beautiful ode of love.. a flow of lovely waves.. It is only as complex as you decide to make it. Do not overburden yourself with the expectations imposed by others. It is your story, and the two of you choose what to write in it, simple.
Change is for Good Concern: This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?
कुछ पाकर खोना है, कुछ खोकर पाना है
जीवन का मतलब तो आना और जाना है
दो पल के जीवन से, इक उम्र चुरानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है
Agreed, life changes after marriage and you lose your bachelor life, but look at the companionship that you get in return. A loving, caring and understanding partner for whole life. The joy that your kids give you, is something that is to be experienced; it cannot be described in words. So, the change that you undergo is for your own good.
The Perfect Couple Concern: How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?
तू धार है नदिया की, मैं तेरा किनारा हूँ
तू मेरा सहारा है, मैं तेरा सहारा हूँ
आँखों में समंदर है, आशाओं का पानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है
It is not necessary that your partner must be your replica in every aspect to be compatible with you. In fact, such as exact match may be often counter-productive in marriage. People with complementary strengths and interests often make a more interesting couple. If one partner is river, other can be the shore; however, it is important to be a pillar of strength and support to each other.
There will be Challenges Concern: I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.
तूफ़ान को आना है, आ कर चले जाना है
बादल है ये कुछ पल का, छा कर ढल जाना है
परछाईयाँ रह जाती, रह जाती निशानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है
Do not worry about conflicts, they are inevitable in marriage, but will pass on their own. Keep your focus on the bond of love between the two of you, and the occasional conflicts will be reduced to temporary storms in your life. Resolve not to take any tiff to heart.
There can be more questions in your mind, but you can answer them yourself by following the simple philosophy of this beautiful song:
एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है
A professor once asked his class, "Why do we have brakes in a car"?
Students came up with different answers, like:
"To stop",
"To reduce speed",
"To avoid collision" etc.,
But one student coined a completely radical thought, which became the best answer.
He said, "To enable you to drive faster".
Think carefully, it is because of brakes that we can dare to accelerate, dare to go fast and reach destinations we desire quickly.
There are times when we face criticism for our actions, decisions, or direction. It hurts us most when we receive it from those who are close to us - our parents, spouse, friends, teachers, or mentors. We tend to consider such criticism as an irritant or "brake" to our progress; however, you can turn this feedback to your advantage. Remember that it is because of these brakes (feedback) that you have managed to reach where you are today. Without brakes, you could have skid, lost direction or gone astray or met with an unfortunate accident! Therefore, learn to appreciate the 'brakes' in your life, and use them wisely to go even faster.
A word of caution for parents here. You should not use the above metaphor to justify your tendency to control your children. Though occasional braking is useful, it is not good to always ride on the brake pedal. Neither excessive braking is good, nor excessive control of children. Use criticism very sparingly with your children, only when essential. As you work towards making your kid independent, let her feel that she is in driver's seat, and it is OK to make mistakes and learn from them. Do not try to do backseat driving in her life. Imbibe good values of self-discipline and judgement in her, and it will have the effect of giving the control of brake in her own hand, and make it unnecessary for you to intervene.
Finally, you know that once an aeroplane has taken off, it flies freely without using brakes. Similarly, once your kids have “taken-off” and it is time for them to fly, try to relinquish all control. It will no longer work if you try to use brake at this stage with your child. I know it is difficult to accept as a parent, but I believe it must be done if you want your child to fly high.
