Such a Short Journey


Smita was traveling in a train. On next stop, an old grumpy woman came and sat by her side, bumping into her with her numerous bags. Smita felt the inconvenience, but just smiled and did not say anything. The old woman got down on the next station.

Her friend Sankalp who was sitting on the other side and observing all this with growing irritation, asked her, “Why did you not speak up and say something? You know that if you do nor assert yourself, people take you for granted, just like this old woman did.”

Smita responded with a smile, "Calm down Sankalp. It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant, our journey together is so short. She already got down, and I too get off at the next stop."

Her response deserves to be the golden yardstick for our daily behavior and interactions. Let us ponder on the response once again:

It is not necessary to argue over something so insignificant, our journey together is so short


If each one of us could realize that our passage down here has such a short duration; to darken it with quarrels, futile arguments, not forgiving others, ingratitude and bad attitudes would be a waste of time and energy.

Did someone break your heart? Be calm, the journey is so short. Did someone betray, bully, cheat or humiliate you? Be calm, forgive, the journey is so short. Whatever pain anyone serves us, let's remember that our journey together is so short.

Let us therefore be filled with gratitude and sweetness. Sweetness is a virtue never likened to bad character nor cowardice, but better likened to greatness. Our journey together down here is really short and cannot be reversed. No one knows the duration of his journey. No one knows if he will have to alight at the next stop. Let us therefore cherish and hold on to friends and family! Let us be calm, respectful, kind, thankful and forgiving to each other.

Because the journey together is so short..

हँसते गाते जहाँ से गुज़र,
दुनिया की तू परवा ना कर,
मुस्कुराते हुए दिन बिताना,
ज़िन्दगी एक सफ़र है सुहाना |

Karaoke with Life


Karaoke singing has become very popular all over the world these days. You can encounter people crooning into microphone accompanied by recorded background music almost anywhere - in shopping malls, parties, bars and restaurants, and even in homes. Most people do not remember the lyrics, so it also includes display of lyrics on a screen to help the singer. If you have tried doing it, you would agree that it helps you shed your inhibition and sing with ease and feel like a pro. Also a song performed with the background music sounds more complete.

However, most people who try Karaoke for the first time feel uncomfortable about their experience. They usually complain that the background music track is going too fast or slow, or is not in right scale. Why? As they sing in their normal style, they find that the music is not matching their vocals properly, and it feels as if the music track has some problem.

Usually, it does not come out good at first, and then you try again and it gets better. You keep trying repeatedly and finally it comes out right. You may have also noticed the importance of riyaz in good singing. If you try a song that you have practiced earlier, you get a better outcome. The music track remains same, then what changes the situation here?

After a few Karaoke sessions, you realize that the background music track has been created to play a pre-set pattern of tone and rhythm at a fixed tempo. To give her best Karaoke performance, the singer must match the music with correct notes and rhythm. The music does not adjust to the singer; she must adjust to the music. A great performance results only when the singer ensures a perfect harmony between the music and her singing.

Despite everything, not all songs will come out perfectly, so you learn to ignore such song and go to the next one.

You may wonder, this is good discussion on Karaoke, but what has this got to do with life? If you look carefully, The Karaoke experience has an important life lesson hidden in it.

At times, people tend to blame the world out there for things that do not go well in life. Do not expect the world or life to change for you. Change yourself, and you will find yourself fitting better in the world. No point focusing on what is wrong ‘out there’, as you cannot change it. Instead, spend your energy on how you can sing more in-step with life.

If things do not come out good at first attempt, try again and it should get better. Do not give up. Keep trying repeatedly and finally it will come out right. Learn to prepare in advance and you will encounter fewer disappointments. Finally, not all days will be equally good in life. Learn to accept setbacks and move ahead.

Learn to ‘Karaoke’ well with life, and it will give you years of happiness and fun.

Why all this Noise about Getting Married?

If you are an eligible bachelor, you can easily relate to it. It seems you cannot have an intelligent conversation with anyone in the family for thirty minutes without the other person popping the question, "so, when are you getting married?"

You are no doubt on the verge of getting fed up with so much noise (shor) about marriage. You know that marriage is on the cards, but you do not want to rush into it. You want to be careful about this decision and find the perfect person before you take the plunge. You may also have many related concerns, like the following:

  • Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?
  • This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?
  • How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?
  • I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.

If you got interested and are reading this post to find an answer, let us listen to this iconic song from the movie Shor together;





The meaningful words of this song may hold the key to your queries. Am I kidding? No, I am serious. This song tells you that it is not as complicated as you think, and mutual love can answer most of your concerns. Let me dissect it verse by verse to illustrate my point.

Relax. Take it Easy
Concern: Am I ready for marriage? How will I cope with the complexities and challenges of married life? Can I come up to the expectations from my spouse, family, and friends?

एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Life is a beautiful ode of love.. a flow of lovely waves.. It is only as complex as you decide to make it. Do not overburden yourself with the expectations imposed by others. It is your story, and the two of you choose what to write in it, simple.


Change is for Good
Concern: This will be a big change for me. I will be losing my independent bachelor life and the freedom associated with it. Will I be happy?

कुछ पाकर खोना है, कुछ खोकर पाना है
जीवन का मतलब तो आना और जाना है
दो पल के जीवन से, इक उम्र चुरानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Agreed, life changes after marriage and you lose your bachelor life, but look at the companionship that you get in return. A loving, caring and understanding partner for whole life. The joy that your kids give you, is something that is to be experienced; it cannot be described in words. So, the change that you undergo is for your own good.

The Perfect Couple
Concern: How do I look for a partner who is a perfect match for me? What if I discover later that the two of us are not compatible?

तू धार है नदिया की, मैं तेरा किनारा हूँ
तू मेरा सहारा है, मैं तेरा सहारा हूँ
आँखों में समंदर है, आशाओं का पानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

It is not necessary that your partner must be your replica in every aspect to be compatible with you. In fact, such as exact match may be often counter-productive in marriage. People with complementary strengths and interests often make a more interesting couple. If one partner is river, other can be the shore; however, it is important to be a pillar of strength and support to each other.  

There will be Challenges
Concern: I wish there are no conflicts between the two of us after marriage, and we live in perfect harmony; but I do not know how to ensure that.

तूफ़ान को आना है, आ कर चले जाना है
बादल है ये कुछ पल का, छा कर ढल जाना है
परछाईयाँ रह जाती, रह जाती निशानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Do not worry about conflicts, they are inevitable in marriage, but will pass on their own. Keep your focus on the bond of love between the two of you, and the occasional conflicts will be reduced to temporary storms in your life. Resolve not to take any tiff to heart.

There can be more questions in your mind, but you can answer them yourself by following the simple philosophy of this beautiful song:

एक प्यार का नगमा है, मौजों की रवानी है
ज़िंदगी और कुछ भी नहीं, तेरी मेरी कहानी है

Value of Brakes



A professor once asked his class, "Why do we have brakes in a car"?

Students came up with different answers, like:

"To stop",

"To reduce speed",

"To avoid collision" etc.,

But one student coined a completely radical thought, which became the best answer.

He said, "To enable you to drive faster".

Think carefully, it is because of brakes that we can dare to accelerate, dare to go fast and reach destinations we desire quickly.

There are times when we face criticism for our actions, decisions, or direction. It hurts us most when we receive it from those who are close to us - our parents, spouse, friends, teachers, or mentors. We tend to consider such criticism as an irritant or "brake" to our progress; however, you can turn this feedback to your advantage. Remember that it is because of these brakes (feedback) that you have managed to reach where you are today. Without brakes, you could have skid, lost direction or gone astray or met with an unfortunate accident!  Therefore, learn to appreciate the 'brakes' in your life, and use them wisely to go even faster.

A word of caution for parents here. You should not use the above metaphor to justify your tendency to control your children. Though occasional braking is useful, it is not good to always ride on the brake pedal. Neither excessive braking is good, nor excessive control of children. Use criticism very sparingly with your children, only when essential. As you work towards making your kid independent, let her feel that she is in driver's seat, and it is OK to make mistakes and learn from them. Do not try to do backseat driving in her life. Imbibe good values of self-discipline and judgement in her, and it will have the effect of giving the control of brake in her own hand, and make it unnecessary for you to intervene.

Finally, you know that once an aeroplane has taken off, it flies freely without using brakes. Similarly, once your kids have “taken-off” and it is time for them to fly, try to relinquish all control. It will no longer work if you try to use brake at this stage with your child. I know it is difficult to accept as a parent, but I believe it must be done if you want your child to fly high.








Live Life.. One Weekend at a Time

After a hectic week at work, weekend is the time to unwind and live the life you want. But some of us are too busy in our work to enjoy life even on weekends. You have no time to spend on yourself, no time to spend with family, no time to catch up with friends. If you are one of those ‘super busy’ people, do read this post. I know you have a very good reason for all the work, but this post is written specially for you.

Think about it, why are you not able find time to enjoy your weekend as you like? Why do we choose to work like dogs in our prime years of life? How much of is the real need and how much of it is driven by our never ending desires?

Can we not spare two days a week for self, family, and friends? Why can't we enjoy simultaneously while we work hard to earn?   

You may say, I work hard for a bright future for my family. Most of us have a small family – a single kid or two kids at most. Do we think our next generation would be incapable to earn, that we save so much for them? How many generations do we want to feed?

You may say, “I am earning to save for a house, a car, or kid’s wedding. Think again. Are we earning to pay builders and interior designers, caterers, and decorators?  Whom do we want to impress with our highly inflated house properties and fat weddings? Do you remember for more than two days what you ate at someone's marriage?

We don't own a property we just have temporary name on documents. When I say, "I am the owner of this land", I can feel a smile coming on God’s lips.

How can we judge a person’s worth by the length of his car? I remember my awesome science and maths teachers vividly. They were all great human beings riding on scooters who changed my life forever.   

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that it is bad to be rich, but it is very unfair to yourself, to be only rich.

Do you spend even 5% of your monthly income for self-enjoyment?  Usually no! Is the money really buying you happiness?

One day, time runs out and each one us has to go. No one on his deathbed ever regrets that he could not spend enough time at office. Instead, most common regret is that I could not live the life fully. I could not fulfill my dream.

So, wake up now before time runs out! Spare time to enjoy before you have slipped discs and cholesterol blocks in your heart!


Let's resolve to live life, one weekend at a time, before life gets us.


About this Post

I was looking for a suitable title for this post. Thanks Himani Gupta for coining the slogan, "Live Life.. One Weekend at a Time", that became a fitting title.

These beautiful lines capture the thought really well. Thanks Rajesh Verma for sending these.

सुनो....!
बरसों से
बचा बचा के,
कई घंटे इकट्ठा किए थे.......
मन में जोड़ के,
दिन भी बना लिए थे कई....
सोचा था
निकल पड़ूँगा.......
दिल खोल के खरचूँगा
घूमूँगा जियूँगा,
जो चाहे जी करूँगा......
आज मन पक्का करके
तोड़ी गुल्लक,
तो पता चला
बीता समय.......
आज में नहीं चलता.......!!!

Prayer as a Last Resort


There was a sailor who was taking a group of young students on a day trip in the ocean. Before commencing the journey, he started by saying a prayer. When the young passengers saw it, they laughed at him, “The day is fine and sunny, and the sea is calm. What’s the need of a prayer in such good conditions?”

However, soon afterwards, a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. This terrified the passengers so much that they started praying for their safety. Some of them came to the sailor and asked him to join in the prayers.

The sailor replied, “I say my prayers when it is calm. When it is rough, it is time to attend to the boat.”

This simple story has a great lesson for us. If we cannot remember God in quiet moments of our lives, we are not likely to find Him when trouble strikes, and are more prone to panic. Only if we learn to seek Him and develop a solid faith during quiet moments, then we will most certainly find Him helping us during turbulence.

Make a habit of thanking God and praying every day when the going is good, as you never know when the situation may change. We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but it should be our first line of defense. We pray when there is nothing else we can do; but why not pray before we do anything at all. If we keep our faith, and pray during happy times, God will help us resolve our issues in a timely manner so that we do not have to experience a crisis. Five hundred years back, Sant Kabir expressed it beautifully in the following couplet: 

दुःख में सुमरन सब करें, सुख में करे न कोय
जो सुख में सुमरन करे, तो दुःख काहे को होय

Sky is The Limit


Ritesh was studying in seventh standard. He was well aware that his poor father had difficult time making the ends meet with his little income, still somehow managed to put him in a public school. After school hours Ritesh tried to earn money to fund his education by doing odd jobs and working as a waiter in a roadside restaurant at night.

One day the English teacher asked the class to write an essay on “My Dream”. As Ritesh walked back from school, he kept thinking about the topic and got quite charged up about it. After work, he started writing the essay in night.

“My dream is to build a 200 acre farm which will have 50 fine horses. It will have a lavish farmhouse in the center in which I will live.”, he wrote.

Then as he went on writing further, his imagination started taking wings and he described the farm in vivid detail. He covered the design of the farm and the breed and specialty of the horses. The essay was already ten pages long, but he was going on with his writing. He got so absorbed in narrating his dream that he could not sleep that night.

Next day, he submitted the essay to the teacher with pride and enthusiasm. His anticipation was that his essay would stand apart from all other students, the teacher will give him good grades. However, when the teacher returned the assignment, he was surprised to see that he was failed. His eyes were filled with tears and he went to the teacher to ask what was wrong with his essay.

The teacher said, “You know you are from a poor family, even daily bread in a challenge for you. In spite of doing jobs after school, you find it hard to earn enough money for school fees every month. How can you think about a big farm like this? Can you afford to buy even one horse? I am giving you one more chance to re-write your essay. This time write about something that is feasible for you to achieve. You should not have such unrealistic dreams that are impossible to fulfill.”

Ritesh was completely devastated. He could not go to his daily jobs that day. He slowly walked back to home and narrated the disappointing episode to his father.

His father said, “Son, you are the sole owner of your dreams. No one else has right to decide what you can or cannot dream. Dream as big as you want, and make every possible effort to realize your dreams.”

This affirmation acted like magic for his confidence. Next day, Ritesh took the same essay to the teacher and said, “I accept the grades that you have given me, but I cannot compromise with my dreams just to get a better grade.”

When it comes to dreams - sky is the limit.

Your dreams should not be limited by your age, sex, caste, religion, and status. The belief in your own capabilities and potential should be the real factor that determines your dreams. Dream big, else you are underestimating your own potential.

The Beggar's Secret


Vaishali was in the grip of a dry spell that year. There was no rain for months.. no crop as a result. People did not have enough to eat or drink. King Siddharth was trying his best to help, but still could not do much in the face of such a natural calamity. He used to go on regular rounds to get first hand information of the situation on the ground, and it had become a depressing ritual now. Wherever he went, he encountered misery, hunger, cries, and gloomy faces. The situation was hopeless and was getting more and more desperate every day. Every one was praying for just one thing - rains.

So Siddharth was obviously surprised when he noticed a man sitting under a tree, smiling and singing a song. The sight of the happy man continued to haunt him that day and he made it a point to visit that area next day. The man was there, sitting confidently under the tree, smiling and singing like previous day. Siddharth kept watching him with amazement for a long time.. and then came back wondering about him. He observed the man for next several days.. and he remained equally happy on all occasions.

"What is the secret of his happiness?", This question started dominating Siddharth's mind so much that he found it hard to concentrate on anything else. He started seeing the smiling man in his dreams as well. Finally he decided to find the answer of this question troubling him and approached the man on his next round of state. As he went near the man, he noticed for the first time that the man was holding a begging bowl in his hand. "He is a beggar.. still he is so happy, how?", the king's curiosity got further multiplied.

He asked the beggar, "Whenever I pass from here, I see you being happy, while everyone else is miserable. I myself am not happy even if I have money, expensive cloths, palace, family and power. You don't have anything.. what is the secret of your happiness in spite of such a gloomy situation?"

The beggar said, "My happiness is based on two simple beliefs:

1. God gifts challenges to each of us depending on our capacity. Bigger challenges are given to those who are more capable.
2. Every new challenge we encounter makes us stronger."

"Okay, how does that make you happy?", the king was getting more curious now.

The beggar continued, "Whenever I face more hardships than others, I feel satisfied that I am the chosen one, since I am stronger. This makes me happy and lets me focus on facing the situation with confidence. Once I cross the difficult situation, I feel good that I am stronger now."

"I believe that wherever I am, in howsoever challenging situation, is the right one for me. All I need to do is to just put in my best effort in the situation and there is no point worrying about it. These thoughts act as a warm positive protective cover for me, that shields me from feeling miserable and keeps my happiness intact."

If a beggar can feel happy in spite of having every reason to feel miserable, what is preventing you and me from adopting the same attitude?

मोबाइल से पहले



चश्मा साफ़ करते हुए उस बुज़ुर्ग नेअपनी पत्नी से कहा, "हमारे ज़माने में मोबाइल नहीं थे.. वरना हम भी आज की तरह हमेशा touch में रहते |"

पत्नी मुस्कुराई और बोली, "पर ठीक पाँच बजकर पचपन मिनट पर मैं पानी का ग्लास लेकर दरवाज़े पे आती  और आप आ पहुँचते.."

पति, "हाँ मैंने तीस साल नौकरी की पर आज तक मैं ये नहीं समझ पाया कि मैं आता इसलिए तुम पानी लाती थी या तुम पानी लेकर आती थी इसलिये मैं आता था.."

पत्नी, "हाँ.. और याद है.. तुम्हारे रिटायर होने से पहले जब तुम्हें डायबीटीज़ नहीं थी और मैं तुम्हारी मनपसन्द खीर बनाती तब तुम कहते कि आज दोपहर में ही ख़याल आया कि खीर खाने को मिल जाए तो मज़ा आ जाए.."

पति, "हाँ.. सच में.. ऑफ़िस से निकलते वक़्त जो भी सोचता, घर पर आकर देखता कि तुमने वही बनाया है.."

पत्नी, "और तुम्हें याद है जब पहली डिलीवरी के वक़्त मैं मैके गई थी और जब दर्द शुरु हुआ मुझे लगा काश..
तुम मेरे पास होते.. और घंटे भर में तो जैसे कोई ख़्वाब हो, तुम मेरे पास थे.."

पति, "हाँ.. उस दिन यूँ ही ख़याल आया कि ज़रा देख लूँ तुम्हें !!"

पत्नी, "और जब तुम मेरी आँखों में आँखें डाल कर कविता की दो लाइनें बोलते.."

पति, "हाँ और तुम शर्मा के पलकें झुका देती और मैं उसे कविता की LIKE समझता !!"

पत्नी, "और हाँ जब दोपहर को चाय बनाते वक़्त मैं थोड़ा जल गई थी और उसी शाम तुम बर्नोल की ट्यूब अपनी
ज़ेब से निकाल कर बोले, इसे अलमारी में रख दो.."

पति, "हाँ.. पिछले दिन ही मैंने देखा था कि ट्यूब ख़त्म हो गई है,पता नहीं कब ज़रूरत पड़ जाए, यही सोच कर मैं
ट्यूब ले आया था !!"

पत्नी, "तुम कहते आज ऑफ़िस के बाद तुम वहीं आ जाना सिनेमा देखेंगे और खाना भी बाहर खा लेंगे.."

पति, "और जब तुम आती तो जो मैंने सोच रखा हो तुम वही साड़ी पहन कर आती.."

फिर नज़दीक जा कर उसका हाथ थाम कर कहा, "हाँ हमारे ज़माने में मोबाइल नहीं थे.. वरना हम भी आज की तरह हमेशा touch में रहते |

पर..

हम दोनों साथ थे !!"

पत्नी, "आज बेटा और उसकी बहू TOUCH में तो रहते हैं पर..
बातें नहीं व्हाट्सएप होता है..
लगाव नहीं टैग होता है..
केमिस्ट्री नहीं कमेन्ट होता है..
लव नहीं लाइक होता है..
मीठी नोकझोंक नहीं अनफ़्रेन्ड होता है..

उन्हें बच्चे नहीं कैन्डीक्रश सागा,
टैम्पल रन और सबवे सर्फ़र्स चाहिए.."

पति, "छोड़ो ये सब बातें.. हम अब VIBRATE मोड पे हैं.. हमारी बैटरी भी 1 लाइन पे है..

अरे..!! कहाँ चली..?"

पत्नी, "चाय बनाने.."

पति, "अरे मैं कहने ही वाला था कि चाय बना दो ना.."

पत्नी, "पता है.. मैं अभी भी COVERAGE AREA में हूँ और मैसेज भी आते हैं.."

पति, "हाँ हमारे ज़माने में मोबाइल नहीं थे..!! वरना हम भी आज की तरह हमेशा touch में रहते |"

और दोनों हँस पड़े..


Be Sensitive


Mohan kaka, a postman in Madhopur post office, had been delivering mail in the village for many years. He got a letter for a new address where he had never been before. As usual, he picked up his bag in the morning and started walking and distributing the mail. After finishing all the letters in next few hours, he turned towards the new address.

On reaching there, he knocked gently on the door called, "Postman!"

From the house, he heard a girl's voice, "Kaka, please slip the letter under the door."

"What an arrogant person! I have walked such a long distance to give this letter to her; but can't she even have the courtesy of receiving it herself?", the thought crossed Mohan kaka's mind.

"Please come out and collect it. Its a registered letter, you need to sign its receipt." Mohan kaka said, with obvious irritation in his voice.

"Ok, wait a minute", the girl in the house said.

Mohan kaka waited for several long minutes but nothing happened. He was beginning to lose patience and gave a loud knock on the door, "What is taking you so long? Please hurry up. I don't have whole day.. I have so much work."

Finally when the door opened, it was a moment of sudden paradigm shift for Mohan kaka. He was taken aback to see a teenage girl without legs, struggling to crawl and open the door.

The girl smiled and said, "Sorry kaka I took so much time. Where do I need to sign?"

Mohan kaka was so full of remorse for his impatient behavior that he could not utter a word. He got the signature, handed over the letter and walked back without saying a single word. The image of the girl trying hard to move continued to trouble him for next several days.

A couple of weeks later, there was another letter for the same address. Once again Mohan kaka walked to the house at the end after distributing rest of the post. He was determined this time to correct his past behavior and be more nice to the girl.

He knocked gently on the door and said, “Postman! I do not need your signatures today. Should I slip it under the door?"

"No kaka, wait, I am just coming", said the girl from inside.

Kaka waited with anticipation of meeting her again. After several minutes the girl appeared on the door with a gift-wrapped packet in her hands.

"Kaka, here is a gift for you, give me my letter please", she said, smiling.

"You don't need to give me a gift beti. I am not doing any favor to you, it is my duty.", Mohan kaka said with hesitation.

The girl said, "Please accept it kaka. Its a humble request."

Mohan kaka reluctantly took the packet from the girl and walked back home. He was getting curious to know what is inside. On reaching home as soon as he opened the packet and saw the gift, his eyes welled up with tears.

There was a pair of slippers in the packet. Mohan kaka has been doing his duty barefoot all these years but no one had paid attention to it so far, and this girl spotted it in their first meeting itself. Nothing could be more valuable gift for Mohan kaka.. he started crying and saying repeatedly, "She gave me slippers; but alas! I can not give her feet!"

Sensitivity is all about feeling someone's pain and to try to help. Without any doubt, it is one of the most noble human values. If a girl without feet can be sensitive about Mohan kaka's bare feet, it is a source of inspiration for you and me. Let us look around us, and resolve to be more sensitive towards our family, friends, neighbors, and society.

Let us try to spread cheers and gift 'slippers' to at least one barefoot that we come across.    

सच्ची निष्ठा

दो गाँवो के बीच एक नदी थी। नदी किनारे एक वृक्ष के नीचे एक संत कईं दिनों से माला फेरते हुऐ अखंड जाप मे लीन थे। उनका संकल्प था एक लाख मालाओ को पूरा करना।
 
उस गाँव की एक अहीर बाला दूध बेचने के लिये रोजाना दूसरे गाँव जाती थी। नदी किनारे आकर अपने दूध का डिब्बा खोलती और उसमें से एक लोटा दूध निकालती। दूध के डिब्बे में एक लोटा पानी मिलाती और नदी पार के गाँव की ओर चल पड़ती दूध बेचने।

यह उसकी रोज की दिनचर्या थी।

संत इस अहीर बाला की गतिविधियों को कई दिनो तक आश्चर्य से देखते रहे। एक दिन उनसे रहा नहीं गया और उन्होने बाला से पूछा,

"बेटी सुनो!"

"हाँ! बाबा। बोलिये ना।"

"बुरा न मानो तो तुमसे एक बात पूछना चाहता हूँ।"

"पूछिये ना बाबा। आपकी बात भी कोई बुरा मानने की होती है क्या?"

"बेटी! मैं रोज देखता हूँ। तुम यहाँ आती हो। दूध के डिब्बे में से एक लोटा दूध निकालती हो और डिब्बे में एक लोटा पानी मिला देती हो? क्यों करती हो तुम ऐसा?"

लड़की ने नज़रें नीची कर ली। कहा, "बाबा! मैं जिस गाँव में दूध बेचने जाती हूँ ना, वहाँ मेरी सगाई पक्की हुई है। मेरे मंगेतर वहीं रहते हैं। जबसे सगाई हुई है मैं रोज एक लोटा दूध उन्हें लेजाकर देती हूँ। दूध कम न पड़े इसलिये एक लोटा पानी डिब्बे में मिला देती हूँ।"

"पगली तू ये क्या कर रही है? कभी हिसाब भी लगाया है तूने? कितना दूध अपने मंगेतर को दिया?"

"लड़की नें नज़रें तनिक उठाते हुऐ उत्तर दिया, "बाबा! जब सारा जीवन ही उसे सौंपने का फैसला हो गया तो फिर हिसाब क्या लगाना? जितना दे सकी दिया, जितना दे सकूंगी देती रहूंगी।"

उस लडकी के अपने मंगेतर के प्रति भाव देख संत के हाथ से माला छूट कर नदी में जा गिरी। उन्होने तुरंत उस अहीर बाला के पाँव पकड़ लियेे और कहा बेटी! तूने तो मेरी आँखें ही खोल दी। माला का हिसाब लगाते लगाते मैंने सारा जीवन व्यर्थ कर दिया। जब सारा जीवन ही उसे सौंप दिया तो क्या हिसाब रखना? कितनी माला फेर ली?

यही है सार - सच्चे प्रेम, श्रद्धा, लगन, भक्ति और निष्ठा का - इसमे हिसाब-किताब का क्या काम?

An Inspiring Poem About Missed Opportunities - Karvan Guzar Gaya



I am a big fan of the legendary Hindi poet Gopaldas 'Neeraj', and I have been fortunate enough to hear him recite his poems in a kavi sammelan. Particularly, I love his poem, "Karvan Guzar Gaya Gubar Dekhte Rahe", which has also been sung as a song by Md Rafi for 1965 film Nai Umar Ki Nai Fasal. Before proceeding further, listen to the song in the video below, and you would agree that it is not just a normal song, but a beautifully crafted poem in which each word has been selected very carefully.

 

Whenever I read and hear this poem, it inspires me and charges me up. You may wonder that how can a poem about disappointments of life be inspiring? Let me answer this with my interpretation of the words of this immortal poem. The meaning of the poem is easily understood, so I will not try to give the literal meaning or translation of the poem.  I do not know if this is an accurate interpretation, but it is one that inspires me. Whenever I hear this poem, I get the following messages:
  1. Realize your dreams before opportunity slips away
  2. Life is short, do something now 
  3. Change is inevitable, embrace it
  4. Fulfill your mission in life
  5. Act when the going is good

1. Realize your dreams before opportunity slips away

स्वप्न झरे फूल से,
मीत चुभे शूल से,
लुट गये सिंगार सभी बाग़ के बबूल से,
और हम खड़े-खड़े बहार देखते रहे
कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे!

This is the overarching message of this poem. The line कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे.. brings out the feelings of regret about lost opportunities very expressively. It stresses the need to take positive action to realize our dreams, before the opportunity slips away. Swami Vivekananda said, "Awake! Arise!! and stop not till the goal is reached." The poem is a poetic expression of what happens when we do not take right action in time.

2. Life is short, do something now 

नींद भी खुली न थी कि हाय धूप ढल गई,
पाँव जब तलक उठे कि ज़िन्दगी फिसल गई,
पात-पात झर गये कि शाख़-शाख़ जल गई,
चाह तो निकल सकी न, पर उमर निकल गई,

गीत अश्क़ बन गए,
स्वप्न हो दफ़न गए,
साथ के सभी दिऐ धुआँ-धुआँ पहन गये,

और हम झुके-झुके,
मोड़ पर रुके-रुके
उम्र के चढ़ाव का उतार देखते रहे
कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे।

Very often we keep waiting for the right opportunity to act. To me, these lines highlight that even being alive is an opportunity that we should not underestimate. At the fag end of life, we regret about the things that we could have done. A common reason for it is that we continue to 'sleep' through life, and by the time we wake up, it is too late. Life is too short to wait for anything. These lines are wake up call to come out of our 'sleep' and do something now.

3. Change is inevitable, embrace it

क्या शबाब था कि फूल-फूल प्यार कर उठा,
क्या कमाल था कि देख आइना सिहर उठा
इस तरफ जमीन और आसमां उधर उठा,
थाम कर जिगर उठा कि जो मिला नज़र उठा,

एक दिन मगर यहाँ,
ऐसी कुछ हवा चली,
लुट गयी कली-कली कि घुट गयी गली-गली,

और हम लुटे-लुटे,
वक्त से पिटे-पिटे,
साँस की शराब का खुमार देखते रहे
कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे।

Change is a harsh reality of life. Nothing is permanent. We may have youth, good looks, health and wealth today, but all of this may be lost tomorrow. In a sense, we should view each of these as opportunities that we should not let go waste; and to deal with changes in life, we need to stay mentally prepared to embrace changes quickly all the time.
Want to explore more on this topic? Read the book "Who Moved My Cheese" for more detailed coverage.

4. Fulfill your mission in life

हाथ थे मिले कि जुल्फ चाँद की सँवार दूँ,
होंठ थे खुले कि हर बहार को पुकार दूँ,
दर्द था दिया गया कि हर दुखी को प्यार दूँ,
और साँस यूँ कि स्वर्ग भूमी पर उतार दूँ,

हो सका न कुछ मगर,
शाम बन गई सहर,
वह उठी लहर कि दह गये किले बिखर-बिखर,

और हम डरे-डरे,
नीर नयन में भरे,
ओढ़कर कफ़न, पड़े मज़ार देखते रहे
कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे!

These lines remind me about the ultimate purpose or mission of life. We are born to help others, spread happiness, and make the world a better place to live. If we keep this mission firmly in mind, we will find time to work on it, and this in turn will give us an unbounded internal happiness. The poem brings out the sad emotions of emptiness that result from an unfulfilled mission.

5. Act when the going is good

माँग भर चली कि एक, जब नई-नई किरन,
ढोलकें धुमुक उठीं, ठुमक उठे चरण-चरण,
शोर मच गया कि लो चली दुल्हन, चली दुल्हन,
गाँव सब उमड़ पड़ा, बहक उठे नयन-नयन,

पर तभी ज़हर भरी,
ग़ाज एक वह गिरी,
पुंछ गया सिंदूर तार-तार हुई चूनरी,

और हम अजान से,
दूर के मकान से,
पालकी लिये हुए कहार देखते रहे।
कारवां गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे। 

These lines portray the uncertainties and the ephemeral nature of life very beautifully. We do not know when a calamity or disaster can strike and change the course of life or even end it. 
Hence, let us act now when the going is good.

To conclude, this beautifully worded poem contains a very inspirational message of action if taken in the right spirit.

Destiny or Action?


My friend Hasit is a wise man with knowledge about a wide range of topics. He is always ready to engage in intelligent discussion at the drop of a hat. People meeting him for the first time get really impressed with his thinking.

One day, we started chatting on the controversial topic of karma and destiny. I triggered the discussion with a loaded question, "Hasit, what plays more important role in our life - luck, prayer or efforts?"

Hasit seemed to be ready for a long chat, "Actions sure play a vital role in your success. Nothing is ever gained without making efforts."

"But not all efforts bear success", I countered, "So, may be luck is the determining factor."

Hasit replied with a question, "Is everything in life pre-destined like a script? We can influence our life with our actions, isn't it?"

We went on and on and during next few minutes, explored different arguments and examples in favor of different opinions; the discussion warmed up and became engaging.

Suddenly Hasit's face lit up and he said,"The answer to this puzzle can be found in the way a bank locker works.”

I responded with a question mark on my face.

Hasit smiled and continued, "As you know, a bank locker has two keys. One key is kept with the bank, and second key is given to the customer. When you want to open the locker, you insert your key in the locker, and the bank manager puts his key in. Either of the keys is not sufficient to open the locker on its own. You need to have both the keys”

"In the same way, efforts and destiny are two keys of the locker. If you want to open it, you need to have both the keys."

This thought got me excited, "You are right. We get the desired results when we put in the efforts and the time is right. i.e. both the keys are there. At times, we put in efforts, but do not succeed because the other "key" is missing. There are also times when we fail to take advantage of an opportunity that fate has given us by not taking the proper step from our side." 

"But who if the bank manager in this case?", I asked, getting further interested in the chat.

Hasit replied, "It has to be God. He holds the bank's key. we don’t know when the Almighty puts his key in, so our best strategy is to keep our key always handy. Keep doing efforts on all the time, so that you are ready when God brings in His key, i.e. fortune favors you.”

This made a lot of sense to me. But I wanted to discuss it further, "That's right, but where does prayer fit in this picture? How do we get desired results by praying?"

By this time Hasit was fully clear about it. He replied,"Let us see.. when we go to the bank to operate the locker, we request the manager to come and put in his key. Prayer is like that request to God. When the prayers are granted, God puts in his key."

We did not stop at this, and continued our lively discussion on this interesting subject.

Both of us were feeling great on coming up with such a beautiful interpretation of the relationship between karma and destiny.

Use All Your Strength


A young girl and her father were taking a walk in a garden when they came across a large tree branch that had fallen on the ground.

The girl asked her father, "If I try, do you think I can move this branch?"

Her father replied, "I am sure you can if you use all your strength."

The girl tried her best to lift or push the branch, but she was not strong enough and she could not move it.

She said, with disappointment, "You were wrong, dad. I can't move it."

"Try again with all your strength", replied her father.

Again the girl tried hard to push the branch. She struggled but it did not budge an inch.

"Dad, I cannot do it", said the girl, frustrated by now, "what are you trying to do?"

Finally, her father said, "Young lady, I advised you to use all your strength. You didn't. You didn't ask for my help, which was available to you."

In this simple story lies a big lesson about importance of interdependence.

We all like to be independent - "I can do it on my own", which is good, but our real strength lies in interdependence - "We can do it much better together". None of us may have all the strength, capabilities, and wisdom required to attain a big goal alone, but if we work together and combine our talents in a team, no goal is too hard to achieve.

Remember, when we ask for help and support, it is not a sign of weakness, but it shows our wisdom.

Just a Few Days to Go


Sant Tukaram had a very serene nature – he was never provoked and always spoke softly. Sadashiv was one of his disciples who was just the opposite.

Sadashiv came to the sant and asked, “Guru ji, How do you manage to stay calm all the time? You never get angry and raise your voice, treat everyone with equal respect and we have never seen you criticizing anyone. I find myself getting angry so often that it is hard to control. What is the secret of your serene attitude? 

The sant said, “Son, I do not know my secret, but I have a bad news for you!”

“What’s the bad news about me guru ji?” Sadashiv asked, obviously surprised.

“Unfortunately you have just seven days to live. You are going to die next week”, Tukaram said with a serious expression on his face.

Sadashiv was shocked. He could afford to ignore if the remark was made by anyone else, but this was a forecast from Sant Tukaram, it was sure to be true. He became very sad and did not say anything.

From that very moment, Sadashiv was a changed man. He started spending most of his time on meditation and prayer. He began greeting everyone with respect, avoided arguments, and stopped being angry on anyone. He even went and apologized to the people with whom he had misbehaved in the past.

After spending the whole week in this manner, he thought of seeking final blessings from his guru before his death. Sadashiv met the sant and said,”Guruji, my time is over. Please give me your blessings.”

“My blessings are always with you, son. How did last seven days go for you? Did you notice any change in you or was it as usual?” the sant asked.

“Lots of changes guruji, I am surprised to see the recent improvements in me. No more conflicts for me. I had only seven days to live, how could I waste my precious time on fruitless things?” Sadashiv said.

The sant smiled and said,”Son, you just found the secret of my calm attitude. I know that I can die any moment. That’s why I behave well with everyone and do not get angry.”

Sadashiv realized that the great sant had shown him the fear of death so that he can get this vital lesson, he heaved a sigh of relief, and took a resolve to continue with the peaceful attitude.

Come to think of it, all of us have just seven days – Monday to Sunday. We have little time to spend on earth. Let us take a lesson from this story and realize the futility of anger and fights. Let us resolve to stay calm and behave well with others.

Be Happy in spite of Problems


Jatin, who worked in a private job, was not happy with his life. He used to feel hounded by one problem or other all the time.

He came to know about a guru camping with his convoy near the town who was very famous for his wisdom. Many people were approaching him with their troubles. Jatin decided to meet the guru and seek solution to his unhappiness.

When he went to meet the guru, he had to wait for his turn as there was a big crowd of people wanting to meet him.

He described his situation to the guru, “Baba, I am fed up with my life. I have so many troubles – stress of work at office, fights at home, financial and health issues. Please guide me how can I tackle my problems and regain my happiness.

The guru heard him patiently, smiled and said,” Son, it is already late today. I will answer your query tomorrow, in the meantime, I want you to do something for me. My convoy has hundred camels. Please stay awake and keep a watch on them tonight till all of them sit down.”

The guru retired to his tent leaving Jatin to watch the camels.

Next morning, the guru called Jatin and asked, “How did your night go?”

Jatin replied, “It was horrible baba. I could not sleep at all. I tried my best, but I could not get all the camels to sit down. One or the other kept standing up throughout the night.”

The guru said,” son, you discovered last night that you cannot get all the camels to sit together howsoever hard you try. As one of them sits down, another one stands up. If you stay awake waiting for all the camels to sit, you will not get to sleep at all.

Your troubles are like these camels. As long as we are alive, we get to face many difficulties. As we solve one issue, another one raises its ugly head. You can never get rid of all the troubles in one go.”

“What should we do then?” Asked Jatin curiously.

“Let us not wait for all troubles to go away before we enjoy life. Think again how it went last night:
  • Many camels sat down on their own as the night descended.
  • You managed to get some of them to sit down with your efforts.
  • A few camels were really stubborn, and did not sit when your efforts. Many of them sat down on their own later on.
You can take a lesson from this about how to view your troubles:
  • Some problems get resolved on their own.
  • You can solve some of the issues with your efforts.
  • Still there are problems that will remains unsolved despite your best efforts. Leave such issues alone and they will get sorted out with time.
Life will always have some difficulties. It does not mean that we lose the peace of mind thinking about them all the time. Don't wait for all the camels to sit down before you start to enjoy life. Relax and have a good night’s sleep. At the right moment, the problems will get resolved on their own.

Learn the secret of staying happy in the midst of difficulties.”

काँच और हीरा

एक राजा का दरबार लगा था।

क्योंकि सर्दी का दिन था इसलिये दरबार खुले मे लगा था.सभी सुबह की धूप मे बैठे थे।

उसी समय एक व्यक्ति आया और प्रवेश माँगा..

प्रवेश मिल गया तो उसने कहा, "मेरे पास दो वस्तुएं हैं, मै हर राज्य के राजा के पास जाता हूँ और अपनी वस्तुओं को रखता हूँ पर उन्हें कोई परख नही पाता, सब हार जाते है और मै विजेता बनकर घूम रहा हूँ।  अब आपके नगर मे आया हूँ |"

राजा ने बुलाया और कहा “क्या वस्तु है?”

तो उसने दोनो वस्तुएं एक मेज पर रख दीं..

वे दोनों वस्तुएं बिल्कुल समान आकार, समान रुप रंग, समान प्रकाश सब कुछ नख-शिख समान था।

राजा ने कहा ये दोनो वस्तुएं तो एक हैं |

तो उस व्यक्ति ने कहा,"हाँ दिखाई तो एक सी ही देती है लेकिन हैं भिन्न |

इनमें से एक है बहुत कीमती हीरा,और एक है काँच का टुकडा। लेकिन दोनों का रूप रंग सब एक है | कोई आज तक परख नही पाया क़ि कौन सा हीरा है और कौन सा काँच का टुकड़ा | कोई परख कर बताये कि कौन सा हीरा है और कौन सा काँच ?

अगर परख खरी निकली...
तो मैं हार जाऊंगा और यह कीमती हीरा मै आपके राज्य की तिजोरी मे जमा करवा दूंगा |

पर शर्त यह है क़ि यदि कोई नहीं पहचान पाया तो इस हीरे की जो कीमत है उतनी धनराशि आपको
मुझे देनी होगी |

मैं इसी प्रकार से कई राज्यों से जीतता आया हूँ |"

राजा ने कहा,"मै तो नही परख सकूगा |"

दीवान बोले,"हम भी हिम्मत नही कर सकते क्योंकि दोनो बिल्कुल समान हैं |"

सब हारे कोई हिम्मत नही जुटा पा रहा था |

हारने पर राजा की प्रतिष्ठा गिर जायेगी, इसका सबको भय था |

कोई व्यक्ति पहचान नही पाया...


आखिरकार पीछे थोडी हलचल हुई |

एक अंधा आदमी हाथ मे लाठी लेकर उठा और उसने कहा कि मुझे महाराज के पास ले चलो |

मैने सब बाते सुनी है, और यह भी सुना है कि, कोई परख नही पा रहा है|

एक अवसर मुझे भी दो...

एक आदमी के सहारे वह राजा के पास पहुंचा |

उसने राजा से प्रार्थना की, "मै तो जनम से अंधा हू, फिर भी मुझे एक अवसर दिया जाये, जिससे मै भी एक बार अपनी बुद्धि को परखूँ, और हो सकता है कि सफल भी हो जाऊं |"

राजा ने कहा क़ि ठीक है |

तो तब उस अंधे आदमी को दोनो चीजे छुआ दी गयी और पूछा गया |

इसमे कौन सा हीरा है और कौन सा काँच ?

कथा कहती है कि उस अंधे आदमी ने एक क्षण में बता दिया कि यह हीरा है और यह काँच !!

जो आदमी इतने राज्यो को जीतकर आया था, वह नतमस्तक हो गया और बोला..

“एकदम सही है! आपने पहचान लिया ! धन्य हो आप !!

अपने वचन के मुताबिक यह हीरा मै आपके राज्य की तिजोरी मे दे रहा हूँ"

सब बहुत खुश थे कि कम से कम कोई तो मिला परखने वाला |

तब राजा ने उस अंधे व्यक्ति से एक जिज्ञासा जताई कि तुमने यह कैसे
पहचाना कि यह हीरा है और वह काँच ?

अंधे ने कहा:

"सीधी सी बात है राजन, धूप मे हम सब बैठे है | मैने दोनो को छुआ..
जो ठंडा था वह हीरा |
जो गरम हो गया वह काँच |"

मानव जीवन मे भी..
जो बात बात मे गरम हो जाये, उलझ जाये..
वह व्यक्ति "काँच" हैं

और
जो विपरीत परिस्थिति मे भी कूल रहे..
वह व्यक्ति "हीरा" है !!

My Recipe of Reducing Emotional Clutter

We have all experienced that when our work area is filled with a lot of unwanted clutter, it reduces our efficiency, and we work best when we keep our desk clean so that we can focus better on the work at hand. I remember the time when my email inbox got filled with hundreds of emails waiting for my attention. The huge backlog of emails gave me a feeling of being overwhelmed and out of control. I simply could not get anything done due to the nagging feeling. Only after I took two days to sort out all the pending emails to clear my inbox, I could regain my effectiveness.

This experience got me thinking. There are times when we find ourselves overwhelmed with the challenges in front of us, completely unable to handle them; while the real reason behind it could be that our problem solving ability is reduced by the emotional clutter filled in our mind. What to do if faced with such a situation? Simple, just as I worked on clearing my inbox, we should take time to get rid of the emotional clutter and then work at the problem. Here is how I go about doing it: 

Relax Yourself with Deep Breathing
First of all, relax yourself. Practice deep breathing for relaxation with the following steps:
  • Close your eyes
  • Slowly count to three as you inhale
  • Hold your breath for a count of two
  • Now exhale slowly as you count to five.
  • After this, wait for a count of two before you inhale the next breath.
Observe the feeling of relaxation in your body as you exhale and after it. After doing it a few times consciously, you will get a knack of it and can use this deep breathing technique in any situation to relax yourself.  

Observe your Thoughts
While in relaxed state observe your thoughts and let go of negative emotions of guilt, worry, and hatred.

Guilt
If you get any thoughts of guilt, pay close attention to it. You may feel the body tense up when this thought passes your mind.  Note the exact reason behind your guilt and how you feel about it carefully. Whatever be the reason for it, you will find that your guilt is keeping you focused on the past and preventing you to take action in the present. You cannot go back and change the past. Once you recognize this fact, gently let the guilt flow out of your mind. As you get rid of your guilt, you will experience that your mind feels lighter and the body feels more relaxed.

Worry
It is very likely that you may have not one but multiple worries in your mind, that may be keeping you occupied all the time. Take a closer look at your biggest worry. You will find that you are worrying because you think about problems in the future on which you have no control at the moment.  Use a simple method to get rid of this worry. Think of the worst that may happen, and mentally accept the worst. This will immediately release your mind from the worry and will prepare you to take action in the present. As you drop your worry, you will feel a positive sensation in your mind and body. Repeat these steps to get rid of all your worries one by one from your mind.

Hatred
Are you holding a grudge against anyone for too long? Try this simple test. Think for a few moments about the person you hate the most. Does it results in some tightness in your jaws or elsewhere in your body? If yes, you need to get rid of this emotions of hate as well. Choose to forgive the person as all of us make mistakes. The moment you forgive, the emotion of hate will flow out of you  and you will feel a lightness in your heart.

Similar look for other negative emotions such as fear, anger, anxiety, frustration, envy, etc and get rid of them from your mind. After getting rid of the clutter of negative emotions, take time to be aware of the present, and be in touch with who you really are. Continue observing your thoughts. If some negative emotions re-appear, let go of them in the same way.

Now in this relaxed state, think of the most important problem you are trying to solve. You will find that a clutter-free mind works much more efficiently to come up with many possible approaches to attack the problem, and suddenly the issue no longer appears to be as formidable as it was when you tried to solve it with a cluttered mind.

So, this is my secret recipe of getting rid of the emotional clutter from my mind and helping myself deal with the challenges. It always works like a magic for me. Try it.. it may work for you equally well.

The Magic of Confidence


A Businessman was deep in debt and could not see any way of coming out of it.

Creditors and Suppliers were demanding payments. He sat in the park, deep in thought, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.

Suddenly an old man appeared before him and asked, "I can see that something is troubling you seriously".

The businessman said, "My whole business is ruined, I am a financial wreck, deeply in debt. There is not even a single ray of hope for me."

After listening patiently about the  the old man said, "I believe I can help you".

He asked the man his name, wrote out a cheque and put it into his hands saying, "Take this money, meet me here exactly one year from today... and you can pay me back at that time".

Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.

The businessman saw in his hands a cheque for one million dollars, signed by Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in the world.

The businessman was elated. "I can erase my worries instantly" he realized. But instead, the man decided to put the uncashed cheque in his safe, knowing that it might give him the strength to rescue his business in case of a dire emergency.

With changed thinking he went back to business, started negotiating better deals, restructured his business and worked rigorously with full zeal and enthusiasm and got several small and big successes.

Within few months, he was out of debt and started making money once again. Exactly one year later he remembered to return to the park with the unused cheque. He wanted to surprise his benefactor with the revelation that he did not have to use the monetary help at all. The moral support did the trick.

As agreed, the old man appeared at the same spot. But just as the businessman was about to hand him back the cheque and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

"I’m so glad I caught him" she cried.

"I hope he hasn’t been bothering you much.He always escapes from the mental hospital and tells people that he is Warren Buffet", saying this she took the old man away.

The surprised man just stood there, stunned!

All the year long he had believed that he had a million dollars to back him that he can use any time.

Moral of the story? It is not the money, real or imagined that turns our life around. It is our confidence in ourselves that gives us the power to achieve anything and everything that we want.

Life Lessons from Electrical Engineering

Electricity contains both positive and negative charges, still electrical engineering can give you many vital lessons in positive thinking. Look at a few examples below. I am sure you can find more such nuggets.

Light
This one is easy. Help dispel the darkness of ignorance and negativity by spreading the light of your knowledge and positive thinking. Spread brightness into the life of others.

Transformer
Step up your dreams and passion; step down your anger and worries.

Motor
Keep going continuously - there are others who depend on your movement.

Generator
Generate wisdom through your knowledge.

Conductor
Offer least resistance to friends, good company, and great ideas.

Insulator
Insulate yourself from the negativity around you.

Semiconductor
A semiconductor is neither a good conductor nor an insulator, and its unique properties make it so useful in electronic devices. You bring unique talent to the world, let it unfold. You do not need to be like anyone else.

Fuse
Protect yourself first from danger

Switch
Like a switch allows you to turn the power on or off at will, learn how to control your emotional triggers and develop a better hold on your feelings.

Battery
Be a reservoir of positive energy like a battery. Spread your energy to those with whom you come in touch.

Capacitor and Inductor
Capacitor and Inductor teach a vital lesson in synergy. In a team, people can be very different in their nature, still they can work together to produce great results. In fact, it is their difference that helps here.

Circuit Breaker
Circuit breaker teaches you about important and urgent. If you want to prevent an urgent crisis, learn to recognize an important problem early and take corrective action well in time.

Sensors
Be in touch with yourself all the time. Observe and reflect on your behavior regularly and check that it is in line with your cherished values.

Lightening Conductor

Think of a lightening conductor when you feel a sudden surge of anger and emotions and help discharge the destructive energy to ground safely.

Earthing
Keep your feet always on ground and maintain relationships.

Learn to Move On


Once upon a time two monks were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. As they prepared themselves to wade across the river, they noticed a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.

The senior monk offered to carry her across the river on his back to which she readily accepted. The junior monk was shocked by the move of the senior monk and was thinking "How can he offer to carry the lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" But he kept quiet and did not say anything.

The senior monk took the lady across the river and the other monk followed him unhappily. When they reached the other side, the senior monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her and continued their journey. All along the way for several miles, the junior monk was very unhappy with the improper conduct of the senior monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about senior monk in his head.

Finally, when they reached their ashram many hours later, the junior monk could not stand it any further, he went to the guru and burst out angrily complaining  about the senior monk.  "How can he claim himself a devout monk, when he gives in easily to the charm of a beautiful woman and seize the first opportunity to touch her against all the teachings of the ashram? He should be punished for his misconduct."


The guru listened to the complain, and smiled calmly. He said, "Son, He had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

This beautiful story reflects our thinking these days. When we encounter an unpleasant event in life, it irritates us and makes us angry, and we make it worse for ourselves by not willing to let it go, just like the junior monk. There is no point in remaining hurt by an unhappy experience after it is over. We unnecessarily carry a grudge, regret, or guilt in our minds for too long, making ourselves unhappy.

If you want to be happy, find out what is it that you are carrying with you bothers you. learn to drop it and move on..

The Essence of Positive Outlook


This beautiful short story illustrates the essence of positive outlook in a very nice manner:

It was the night of 31st December. A famous writer was sitting pensively in his study room reflecting over the year just gone. He picked up his pen and started writing:

As I look back at the events of last year, it was a particularly unfortunate year in my whole life.
  • I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
  • I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
  • I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
  • My son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.
Having written this, the writer started pondering over the miseries of last year. Just then, the writer's wife entered the room and found her husband looking sad lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on side of her husband's writing. When the writer saw this paper, he found his name written on it with following lines:

This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed really well.
  • Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain.
  • I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.
  • My father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator.
  • God blessed my son with a new life in-spite of a terrible accident. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.

When the writer read the paper, he was happy and amazed at such beautiful and encouraging interpretation of the events in his life that he saw as miseries!

Take a closer look at events in your life that you see as unfortunate. Can you use the lesson in this story to view them in different light? Any development can appear positive or negative depending on how you look at it. Let us learn to be thankful to God for everything that happens to us.There is always a lot to be thankful in everything that happens to us, we need to cultivate the positive way of looking at it.  Even in the adverse circumstance, let us think positive, and be happy that things could be much worse.

This is the essence of positive outlook. Think Positive.. Be Happy..

How to Make Your Volunteer Group Effective


Are you a part of a volunteer group like a charity organization, a social service club, or a neighborhood group? How is your experience in the team? Are the results from the team below expectations, in-spite of having experienced members with a track record of success at work? Does it look lackluster or slow? Do you notice some of the following symptoms in your group?
  • All members are not engaged equally. There are some members who are very active (and therefore are the workforce of the team), and there are others who are passive. There is a general lack of participation and initiative in the group activities.
  • Different members seem to be running in different directions, hence there is a lack of concerted efforts.
  • The team is unable to discuss anything amicably. There is such a ferocious argument and conflict on each and every topic that is discussed that it is impossible to reach any decision in a meeting. Consequently, to make progress, all decisions are made outside the meetings and then rolled out to the members.
  • The team structure is very fragile. Every now and then, some member offers his resignation as he or she is not happy with the situation. To keep the team together itself seems to be a big effort.
It is not at all surprising. Getting a big team to perform at the peak of its potential involves keeping all members engaged and motivated, which is not an easy task; And the challenge gets multiplied when it is a voluntary team with no clear leader, in which the motivation of the members is diverse and different from a team at work. How do we get such a team to perform more effectively? Here are a set of suggestions that may be handy.

Start Right
Before you form the team, make sure to articulate its purpose and mission, and take time to align all the members to this purpose. This may not sound important, but it is the vital force that drives a team. This exercise defines a true North and points everyone towards it. Once each member has a clear view of North, it will be easy to navigate the group in the desired direction.

Clear Roles and Responsibilities
Take time to define the roles and responsibilities of the team members with complete clarity. A volunteers team usually has an elaborate organization, so this is not a problem. The real issue is that due to the informal nature of the team, people do not take the roles seriously and inadvertently step onto other people's toes. This can cause skirmishes, and even conflicts that are blown out of proportion in the extreme case.

Here is an anecdote to illustrate my point. A social group had a designated chairman, and they treated him with a lot of respect. In meetings, every agenda items got discussed with the permission of the chairman and so on. However, very soon, different people in the team started taking decisions about the group programs without even informing the chairman, which was a clear violation of the chairman's circle of influence. After watching it silently for some time, the chairman finally decided to express his objection, hoping that the team will listen to him and correct the behavior. However, the team was convinced that the chairman had no role to play in making these decisions, so they argued with the chairman. Finally, the chairman had to put up with the situation. This is a good example of unclear roles in the team.

Maintain keen Focus
Define short and mid term goals for the team and keep a keen focus on the goals. Nothing energizes a team more than a sense of achievement. Also, make sure to signup for goals that are realistic. Having big stretch goal may sometimes work as a motivator, but make sure not to bite more that what you can chew as a team. If you do that, you will be compelled to nag your members, and this will sure be a big de-motivator.

Adequate Communication
Communication is the key to a team's performance, and it has to be a two way communication. Make sure all important information reaches the members in a timely manner, and make sure every member gets a patient hearing. When you do not listen to the team members, you pave the way for them getting demotivated and disengaged. In the past, face-to-face meetings used to be an effective way of ensuring communication in the team, but in the modern age, we can leverage technology to to it more effectively. Why not use social media platforms like Facebook groups or Whatsapp groups for ensuring communications on the go. Even if you hold a meeting, send the meeting notes on Whatsapp so that those who could not attend the meeting will come on-board as well.

Make Decisions Together
This may be the trickiest part for many of you. Always discuss the issues within the team before arriving at a decision. Why? The reason is two fold:
  • When you discuss a decision well in the team, the team is more likely to align itself on the decision and rally behind it.
  • The principle of synergy states that one plus one can be three, five, or even eleven. When two people combine their ideas in synergy, the outcome will be far better than what any of them could do himself. However, the process of arriving at synergy requires lots of discussion in the team. As a team, do not avoid conflict, but actively encourage difference of opinions and discussions. Do not try to suppress the contradictory opinion. It may help you make a decision quickly, but the quality of the decision will be much richer if you allow discussions and dissent. You need not be too concerned about the resulting slowdown in the decision making. Use the discussion to collect all the facts and opinions about the issue at hand, and in case the difference of opinion persists, let the team leader take a call.
Organize Finances Well
Most teams have to deal with some receipts and expenditure, and because of the informal nature of the team, this is one area that most team tend to take lightly. Avoid this pitfall and make sure to keep a detailed account of all your receipts and expenses, check your balances often against the expected, and share the account regularly with the team. I know a neighborhood team that does it very well using a spreadsheet to keep the account and a printout is circulated every month to all members.

When you do not keep a clear account, the indirect implication on integrity can cause undue complications, even if the intentions of all involved are good. Here is an anecdote to illustrate this point. A social group organized a very big event that had huge collection and expenses. In the hustle-bustle of the big ceremony, the team could not manage to keep account of every receipt and expense. When the person in charge of finance was asked about it some time later, he obviously did not have the required account details, so in an effort to cover up, he claimed that there is no savings as some people have not yet paid their dues, and he produced a list of people whom he saw as 'defaulters'. None of these people were real defaulters, because they either did not agree to contribute, or had paid to someone else in the team that went off-record. Also, none of them were ever reminded about the dues. You can imagine the kind of mistrust it would have generated among those contributors. It would be an uphill task to get them to contribute for the cause again.

Don't Shoot the Messenger 
If there are members who are criticizing a certain decision or action, accept their feedback with grace, and don't think of them as trouble-makers, and try to bulldoze them into silence. It is not difficult to silence the critics as it is a volunteer organization, and they are not likely to persist if they sense that there feedback is not getting accepted in the right spirit. This will buy you harmony in the group in the short run, but will deprive you of the crucial feedback from members in future, as all members will get the message that honest feedback is not appreciated in this team.

Take Time to Appreciate People
This is such a simple principle, yet it is ignored very often. When you take time to appreciate team members for their contribution, it has two positive impacts on the team. It makes the person feel good that his efforts have been recognized, and it creates a positive atmosphere in the team that motivates the members to contribute with more enthusiasm. This one action, if practiced well, can make a huge difference in the energy level of the team. However, as a member or leader of the team, prepare to be self-motivated by the results you obtain and don't rely on explicit external appreciation to be the only source of your motivation.

These are only some of the points that comes to my mind. There can be more, but taking care of the above factors should help you make your volunteer team more effective and cohesive than what it is today. Once the team has learned how to do constructive discussions, it can find ways of improving on its own. 

Forget Your Two Drops of Oil



A merchant asked his son to go to a well known guru and learn the secret of happiness from him. This guru lived in a beautiful isolated castle. The young man wandered through the desert for 40 days before he could find the castle at the top of the mountain where the wise guru lived.

When the boy entered the guru's room, he saw a great deal of activity; merchants coming and going, people chanting in the corners, a small orchestra playing sweet melodies, and there was a table laden with the most delectable dishes of that part of the world.

The guru was very busy talking to his visitors one by one, and the young man had to wait for several hours before he could get to meet him. With considerable patience, the sage listened attentively to the reason for the boy's visit. He told the boy that at the moment, he did not have the time to explain to him the 'secret of happiness'. He suggested that the young man take a tour of the beautiful castle and meet him after that. "However, I want to ask you a favor.", he added, handing the boy a teaspoon, in which he poured two drops of oil. "While you walk, carry this spoon and don't let the oil spill. "The young man began to climb up and down the stairs of the castle, always keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. At the end of his tour, he returned to the presence of the wise man.

The sage asked, "So, did you see the persian tapestries hanging in the dining room? Did you see the garden that the Master of Gardeners took ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in the library?"

Embarrassed, the young man confessed that he had seen nothing. His only concern was not to spill the drops of oil that the guru had entrusted to him.

"So, take a tour again and make sure to experience the wonders of this castle.", said the wise man, "You can't trust a man if you don't know his house."

Now more at ease, the boy took the spoon and strolled again through the castle, this time paying attention to all the works of art that hung from the ceiling and walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around the castle, the delicacy of the flowers, the taste with which each work of art was placed in its niche.

Returning to the sage, he reported in detail all that he had seen. "But where are the two drops of oil that I entrusted to you?", asked the sage.

Looking down at the spoon, the young man realized that he had spilled the oil.

"Well, that is the only advice I have for you," said the sage, "the secret of happiness centers around not letting the two drops of oil ruin your enjoyment of looking at all the wonders of the world."

Think about it. life is beautiful, but our preoccupation with our 'two drops of oil' takes away the happiness from it. What are your two drops of oil? It could be our your worries, cherished goals, a grudge that you hold, etc. Just identify them and forget these two drops of oil and you will find true happiness in your day-to-day life.  
 

Posted from Chennai Airport

The Downside of Winning

We like to win in every game we play and in every life situation. Usually, we hate it when we have to lose, and at times we even go to the extent of trying unfair means to secure a victory. However, is victory always good for us? Definitely not. As good as a victory is, it has its downside too. A defeat or a failure can be an unpleasant experience, but it can be a great source of experience and learning. If we want to build ourselves, a healthy mix of wins and losses can be more suitable than all wins. 

Sounds counter intuitive? Let me narrate a story to illustrate the point.

Ritwik was a young boy who liked nothing more in the world than to win. He loved winning everything. And because he couldn't stand losing, he became an expert in all kinds of tricks and cheating. He could play tricks in practically every situation, without being noticed; even in video games or while playing alone. He could win every time without ever being caught. He won so often that everyone started seeing him as the champion.

But it meant that almost no one wanted to play with him; he was just too far ahead of everyone. One person who did play with him was a poor boy Kartik, who was a bit younger. Ritwik really enjoyed himself at Kartik's expense, always making him look ridiculous.

After some time, Ritwik ended up getting bored with the monotony of the situation. He needed something more, so he decided to play in the national games championship, where he would find competitors of his caliber. At the championship, he was keen to show his skills, but as he tried to use the tricks that he had used in the past, none of them worked there. The judges had taken care to prevent any unfair trick.

He felt terribly embarrassed because he thought he was a good player, but without his unfair tricks, he couldn't beat a single competitor. He was soon eliminated and sat there, sad and pensive.

Finally when they announced the name of the tournament champion, he was surprised to find that it was Kartik, whom he had always beaten. He couldn't understand how was it possible!

Finally he realized that Kartik had learned from every defeat, and he had persevered and worked diligently on improving his game. It was not important for Kartik if he lost a game or got a good beating so long as he was learning from each of his defeats; And with so much learning and training, he transformed himself into a real champion.

So, let us not hate losing, and resolve to take every defeat to learn and strengthen ourselves. Play for a win, but do not try to grab the victory by any means.