2018 Elections - शायर की नज़र में

The political atmosphere in the country is becoming more and more toxic everyday with even highly respected leaders getting down to low-level verbal fights. We witnessed weeks of noisy cacophony of state elections this month. How do we bear all this noise? Political cartoons have been used as a powerful medium to interpret complex political issues in a lighter vein. I am experimenting here with the use of shayari for the same purpose. Here is a collection of verses on politics (जम्हूरियत) re-interpreted in the context of 2018 elections. Enjoy with the morning tea :)

Last month it was politics everywhere:

अब तो मयखाना भी सुकूं नही देता
जिक्र-ए-जम्हूरियत वहां भी होने लगा


It was a state election, but the whole nation witnessed an unprecedented and extremely ugly fight among parties and leaders:

करेंगे वो किसी से दोस्ती क्या, जो डरते हैं किसी की दुश्मनी से
यही मक़सद है क्या जम्हूरियत का, लडा दो आदमी को आदमी से                         (मधु भूषण)


The performance of central government was in focus throughout. This is what the opposition claimed about ruling party's five years:

चराग कल भी थे रौशन, मगर उज़ाला था,
चराग आज भी हैं रौशन, मगर अंधेरा है।  - एज़ाज़ सिद्दकी


Ruling party kept ignoring Rahul for a long time, but finally its leadership had to face the challenge head-on. I have been using the second line of this sher for a long time, it aptly describes the Modi - Rahul contest:

चाहत का मज़ा है कि वो भी हो बेकरार,
दोनो तरफ हो आग, बराबर लगी हुई।    - ज़हीर देहलवी


The best part was that people woke up and turned up to vote in big numbers. This is a sign of a healthy democracy:

कब तक़ जम्हूरियत के दलालो के आगे रोओगे
देश भक्तों जागो अरे कब तक़ तुम सोओगे          (मिलन कुमार)


Irrespective of his status, everyone got to cast only one vote:

जम्हूरियत वो तर्ज़-ए-हूकूमत है के जिसमें
बन्दौ को गिना जाता है तौला नही जाता 

Congress after winning three states back:

देखा है फिर एक बार वोटर की आँखों मे प्यार
अबकी बार कांग्रेस सरकार


Ruling Party after the first major election loss in recent years, particularly Chattisgarh:

आज उतनी भी मयस्सर नही मयखाने मे
जितनी हम छोड दिया करते थे पैमाने मे

Shivraj Chouhan appeared very hurt in his post results press conference, possibly as he is being blamed for the defeat.

चराग बन के ज़ला जिसके वास्ते इक उम्र,
चला गया वो हवा के सुपुर्द करके मुझे।   - ज़माल एहसानी

After the setback, a natural question is why blame it on Modi ji? It was a state election in which local issues should be more relevant. Why is it being used to amplify each and every mistake of government at the center? The answer lies in this sher:

चुकानी पडती है कीमत सफेदपोशी की,
किसी का ऎब यहाँ पर छुपा नही करता।  - रईस सिद्दीकी


Other small parties - BSP, AAP fought the elections with a lot of hope, but could not score much, their take after election loss:

रात का जुगनू कितनी रोशनी लुटायेगा
प्यास समंदर की हो तो क्या क़तरा बुझा पायेगा

The bitter political argument on TV channels, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp continues even after the results, enough of it for me. My take on this:

चार दिन की है ये दुनिया, तो ज़रूरी है मियां,
एक इंसान से इंसान, ठिकाने से मिले।   - कैफ भोपाली

An Invaluable Lesson from My Father

The biggest lesson that I got from my father is how to stay cool in tough times and accept the fact that difficulties are as much a part of life as good times. This attitude gives you tremendous strength to face any adversity. I can not say that I have been able to follow this approach consistently in all situations, but I have seen him to be a living examples of these values.

This key lesson from him is very well captured by his favorite verse given below:

दुख भी मानव की संपत्ति है, 
तू क्यों दुख से घबराता है |

दुख आया है तो जायेगा,
सुख आया है तो जायेगा, 

दुख जायेगा तो सुख देकर,

सुख जायेगा तो दुख देकर, 
सुख देकर जाने वाले से,
ए मानव क्यों भय खाता है |

सुख में है व्यसन प्रमाद भरे, 
दुख में पुरुषार्थ चमकता है
दुख कि ज्वाला में जलकर ही, 
कुंदन सा तेज दमकता है
सुख में सब भूले रहते है, 
दुख सबकी याद दिलाता है |

सुख संध्या का वह लाल क्षितिज, 
जिसके पश्चात अँधेरा है
दुख प्रातः का झुटपुटा समय,
जिसके पश्चात सवेरा है
दुख का अभ्यासी मानव ही, 
सुख पर अधिकार जमाता है |

दुख के सम्मुख जो सिहर उठे, 
उनको इतिहास न जान सका
दुख में जो कर्मठ धीर रहे, 
उनको ही जग पहचान सका
दुख एक कसौटी है जिस पर,
ये मानव परखा जाता है |

Listen to my father reciting this song in his own voice:

Sanyam - The Power of Self-Control

Sanyam is one of the key principles of life taught by Jain philosophy, the most powerful concept. Jain Anuvrat Geet is an inspiring song that talks about its virtues. As a child, I heard this beautiful song in the voice of Mukesh, and I have been deeply impressed by the way he rendered it. 

नैतिकता की सुर सरिता मे जन जन मन पावन हो
संयम मय जीवन हो
छोटे छोटे संकल्पों से मानस परिवर्तन हो
संयम मय जीवन हो

It is likely that you may not have heard it. To give you the feel of this inspiring song, I recorded it in my voice. Watch the following video to listen to the song.




What is Sanyam and what are its benefits in life, and why should you follow it? I have attempted to explain the concept in simple everyday terminology. My apologies to my learned friends if it appears a little over-simplification.

Every morning when I light a deepak for prayer, and watch with fascination the light produced by it, I am reminded of the fact that the fire which is helping me illuminate our home can also be very devastating at times. Similarly, a river provide us water, so vital for life, but it can cause destruction through floods. Atomic energy helps generate electricity in a Nuclear power plant, but the same energy can cause severe destruction as an atom bomb. There are numerous examples of an energy being helpful as well as harmful to us.  

Let us examine it somewhat closely. What conditions makes it possible to utilize an energy gainfully and how does it become destructive? What I see in a lamp is a very small fire fed by tiny amounts of fuel in the form of oil sucked by the wick. The fire remains regulated through the limited supply of fuel. This keep it controlled and far below the danger mark. Compare it to a jungle fire where it burns uncontrolled and gets stronger by the burning wood and blowing wind, causing destruction and damage.

Therefore, it is clear that a controlled or channelized energy works constructively for us, while an uncontrolled one can result in harmful negative effects.

In the same way, when we harness or channelize our energies in a positive way, it becomes a constructive force that moves our world. If we do not, it will cause negative impact on our lives. To channelize our energies, we must exercise self-control or sanyam that ensures that the fire does not get an uncontrolled supply of fuel and get out of control. This is a very strong argument in favor of living a disciplined, purposeful life.

There is another way to leverage this principle. Whenever we notice our own thoughts creating negativity in our life, we should step back and look for any area where we have fueled our energies without regulation so much that it has got out of control. Recognizing such an area and taking corrective action to get back in control will certainly reduce the negative effect.

I am positive that sanyam, self-regulation, self-control,  and moderation is the most important principle which is the key to gain happiness and balance in life. Give it a try and see if it works for you.

Remembering My Great Teachers

Like a sculptor, a good teacher can change the course of your entire life. Most people can recall at least one teacher in their life who was instrumental in shaping them. It may not be easy to pinpoint one or two key areas where he made a difference, but if we think carefully, a teacher helps us in the following ways (and more):

• He imparts you with the knowledge that you need
• He is an able guide who shows you the right direction
• He inspires and motivates you towards action
• He monitors your progress and corrects when necessary
• He understands you well as a person, your strengths, weaknesses, what motivates you and what puts you off. 
• He has strong belief in your abilities and affirms you, even when you have self-doubt

I consider myself fortunate that I got a chance to come in touch with several people who played the role of teacher for me and shaped me in different stages of life and I have very fond memories of the time spent with them.

Devidayal Sir (1972-74)
Devidayal sir, a soft-spoken school teacher had a vital role in setting the foundation for me. I came in touch with him when I was a 6th class student, struggling with the transition from primary school. My parents called in Devidayal sir to help me with tutions, and within a year he managed to transform me. The most important lesson I got from him was the importance of working everyday towards your goal. With a small step taken everyday, even the most difficult target becomes possible to achieve. During his first week, after he taught me some subjects, he left me some exercises to do. Next week when he asked about it, I drew a blank. Obviously I did not think that there was any hurry to complete the exercises. I still fondly remember the look on his face on that day, but he did not scold me. He gently nudged me to complete the assignment next week, and while doing it, I could see that it is not at all difficult to take one step at a time. When I came to 9th standard, he told me, “It is time for me to say good bye now, you will be on your own, but remember to keep studying regularly as you do now.”

Bhattar Sir (1977-78)

Bhattar Sir taught me mathematics in 12th standard. He was a passionate teacher of his subject, but for me he was more like a mentor, who believed in my potential even more than myself. He was the one who used to constantly encourage me to try for engineering degree, and the strong affirmation was visible in all his interactions and expressions. While it gave me a good feeling, I also used to feel scared at times and unsure if I can come up to his expectations. I still remember how he used to barge in the board practical tests for Physics and Chemistry and urge the external examiner to hold my viva first. No doubt I was his favorite student, and during last few months of boards preparations, he called me home and helped me negotiate the tough territory of maths with his expert touch. I believe without him, I would have not made it to Engineering.

Shivanand Sir (1972-78)

Shivanand Sir was the principal of my school, and he used to inspire all the students with his own personal example. He taught me the importance of living a principle based life. I got to interact with him regularly as I was in the music team who used to go to his office every day for prayer recital. That’s how I also got to observe him from close quarters and if there was one thing that I desired strongly at that time, it was to be like him when I grow up.

Prof B. C. Gargesh, IIT Roorkee (1980-82)
Prof Gargesh taught us medical electronics, and made it so interesting that it got me started on the path of exploring this subject more. I had studied biology in school, but it never clicked for me at that time. Now when I found out about the electrical pulses involved in the functioning of heart and brain, it suddenly became a very absorbing topic, and I ended up doing an interesting final year project in this field.

Dr Bishnu Pradhan (1982-90)

Dr Pradhan was heading the Tata Electric labs when I joined it as my first job. I have never seen a better people manager than him. We were in a batch of 15 fresh engineers hired from the different campuses around the country. He held an orientation session with us in which we introduced ourselves to him. To my amazement, whenever he met me after that day, he always addressed me by my name. It was amazing how he remembered names of people. This was my first invaluable lessons from him about people management. During my 8 years stint with him, I got a chance to observe him closely in different situations, and each such encounter left me little wiser about how to be a good manager and a positive person. Being a young engineer, this teaching was not very useful for me at that stage, but I realized its value when I became a manager later in my career. After he left Tata Electric, we realized in his absence that he was a visionary leader. I always used to see him as my mentor since I always saw in his eyes a positive support and affirmation. During the collaboration with US based Taurus Technologies, which was his dream project, I got a chance to have extensive discussions with him and I cherish those moments.

Shirish Deodhar (1983-90)

I worked with Shirish in Tata Electric, and he had a significant influence on me. As a young engineer, I learned the importance of being systematic and organized from him. He presented a nice example of someone that I aspired to become one day. He is the one who encouraged me to come out of my comfort zone and go for higher education. I can never thank him enough for just this one. After he left, and the team management responsibility fell on my shoulder, at times I found myself unequal to the big responsibility. On such occasions, I used to ask myself, “How would Shirish have handled this situation?”, and the answer gave me the clue. I continued to be in touch with him for several years and we got to spent extended time together in US in 1989 when we worked together on Taurus project, and it is one memory that I will never forget.

R. Muralidharan (1982-99)

Muralidharan was my manager at Tata Electric, and he taught me key lessons with his action-orientation and dynamism. He showed me how to take risks and aim high. My stint in his team was one of the most satisfying period of my career. He helped me develop from a young engineer to a manager and leader. Every meeting with him used to be an opportunity to learn, and I am glad that I got to spend those years with him.



Prof S.S.S.P Rao, IIT Bombay (1985-88)

Prof Rao (affectionately called sprao) was Head of Computer Science department of IIT Bombay in 1985 when I joined the M. Tech course there. Very soon we developed a close relationship in which he was my guide, teacher, friend, philosopher, and ideal. It is difficult to express my relationship with him in words. He used to have a healthy respect for me as I was from industry, but did not hesitate to put me in the right place when needed. Working with him I realized the true meaning of technical knowledge and excellence. I will always be thankful to him for seeing the potential in me and supporting me with strong affirmation. He gently persuaded me to stretch myself and do things that I would not have imagined myself doing – like addressing a seminar organized by Intel, or preparing the coursework for a teacher training program, or teaching parallel processing to IIT students. 

Dale Carnegie (1982..)

When I started my first job in 1982, I was living alone in Mumbai, far away from home. This loneliness started taking its toll on me at one point in time. At that very time, a friend gave me a book, “How to Stop Worrying” by Dale Carnegie. I read the book with interest, and the teachings of the book changed my life forever. I have never met Dale Carnegie personally, but I consider him my guru, because I learned the importance of positive thinking and right attitude from him. Later I also read his book, “How to win friends”, which has practical lessons about social skills. If I could write a blog on positive thinking later, it was only because of what I learnt from him.

Stephen Covey (2000..)

After a 17 years stint at Tata Electric, I made my first job switch and joined HCL in 1999. This was the time when the technology was evolving rapidly, and the successful approach of 1990s seemed no longer adequate in this age. Suddenly I found myself in an unenviable situation with numerous problems and endless challenges facing me every day. I slogged day and night, but the work seemed to keep expanding even more. Obviously I could not go on like this, so I desperately looked for a solution to the puzzle – what do I need to do differently to cope with the situation. That’s when I came across the book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. It took me some time to grasp the ideas in the book, but it not only helped me overcome my current crisis, but taught me such vital lessons that my life changed forever. I consider myself fortunate that I got to meet Stephen in person in 2007 when he came to India.

I am thankful to have such wonderful gurus. They may not have been teachers by profession, but have still played the role for me. I will remain forever indebted to them for their love and support. A big Thank You to my great gurus without whom I cannot imagine my life.

वक़्त ने किया क्या हसीं सितम

    

ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में,

हम इतने मशगूल रहे,

वक़्त ने जो ज़ुल्म ढाए,

पता ही नहीं चला।

भरे पूरे परिवार में,

चाचा-चाची, दादा-दादी,

कब सब बिछड़े बारी-बारी,

पता ही नही चला।

कभी थे जिम्मेदारी,

हम माँ बाप की,

कब बच्चों के लिए

हुए जिम्मेदार हम,

पता ही नहीं चला।

कंधे पर चढ़ कर,

खेलते थे जो बच्चे,

कब कंधे तक आ गए,

पता ही नहीं चला।

बच्चों को बड़ा करने में,

लगे ही रहे हम,

कब बच्चे घर से दूर गए,

पता ही नहीं चला।

शुरू करके सफर,

किराये के घर से,

कब अपने घर आ गए,

पता ही नहीं चला।

घूमते थे साइकिल के

पैडल मारते हुए,

कब कारों में चलने लगे,

पता ही नहीं चला।

एक दौर था जब

दिन में भी बेखबर सो जाते थे,

कब रातों की उड़ गई नींद,

पता ही नहीं चला।

जिन काले घने बालों पर,

इतराते थे कभी हम,

कब सफेद होकर उड़ गए,

पता ही नहीं चला।

पहले जॉब पर,

फूले न समाये थे,

कब रिटायरमेंट आ गया,

पता ही नहीं चला।

सोचते रहे तमाम उम्र,

कभी तो करेंगे ख्वाईशें पूरी,

कब उम्र तमाम हो गयी,

पता ही नहीं चला।

Looking for Karaoke? Try YouTube

Karaoke or Sing-Along is gaining popularity these days; the scrolling lyrics display along with realistic background music makes it easy and fun to sing a song. Many people are enjoying Karaoke singing and some are doing stage performances with Karaoke music, and even recording their cover songs and posting them on YouTube.

Till recently, Karaoke singing required expensive equipment, specially created for this purpose, which was not easily affordable. Although selected Karaoke music was available on audio CDs, which could be played on ordinary music systems, there was no lyrics display for these audio CDs, and the song selection was very limited too. If you wanted to sing a particular song, it was really difficult to find a Karaoke track for the song.

The good news is that this situation has changed in recent years. Many passionate and generous music lovers have started creating and uploading Karaoke tracks as YouTube videos. The list of available good quality tracks is growing rapidly. As a result, YouTube is fast becoming your first source of free Karaoke music, whether you have an upcoming performance, a singing party, or just want to sing for fun.

It is simple to use these videos. Just find the Karaoke YouTube video you need and play it. Look at the scrolling lyrics and sing along with the music and have as much fun as you want. If you want to do a live performance with this track, play it on your cellphone and connect your phone to Bluetooth or Aux cable to amplify the audio.

I am listing below the top channels that have good quality tracks for Hindi film songs, whenever you are looking for your desired song, look on these channels first:

• Swar-Tarang - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeXaW_cgvar0iBVAt4vJfGQw7iOVszky2 
• Anil Chauhan - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsi4QwYvZDpnzEy2ug-4AtQ 
• Prabhashankar Tripathi - https://www.youtube.com/user/prabhashankarable
• Stephen C - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCts4RR6iRNNMpogL_lZaePQ
• Exclusive Karaoke - https://www.youtube.com/user/imtehazmunsi
• A  S CHATURVEDI - https://www.youtube.com/user/nimit123ful

If you want to sing a duet, but do not have a co-singer to sing with you, don’t despair, these creative people have also made tracks that already has one of the voice (male / female) in it. These tracks can be used to get the full fledged duet experience. The following two channels have a good collection of duet tracks:

• B 4 YOU - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGr2gYe4VPt6sX6KdRN0NmA
• Rajesh Gupta https://www.youtube.com/user/chunnumunnu123

You can also find the track of your interest by doing a direct search in YouTube. For example, if you want to sing Ek Pyar Ka Nagma Hai, just type the following in the YouTube search box, and it will show up in the results:

Ek pyar ka nagma hai karaoke

How to Download Audio

You may want to download the audio of Karaoke track as an mp3 file. Unfortunately, YouTube does not allow any easy means for downloading audio. However, you can download the audio using other helper websites. There are several websites and softwares that allow you to download videos from YouTube in a format of your choice. However, one of the easiest ways to download most songs is simply to type the letters “pp” right after “youtube” in the URL of that video and hit enter on your keyboard.
It will open up a new page in which you will be provided several options to download it in different formats, viz. .mp3, .mp4, .3gp, etc. in both video and audio formats.
Click on the download button next to the desired mp3 format.
Discard any pop-up browser window that may open.

I hope you will find this information useful as a singer. Have fun with Karaoke!

In Line of Fire

Vivek was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the AC compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and was still not entitled to Air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do!

As he settled down, he opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country, sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stockily built like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me", the man continued, "you sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naiveness demanded reasoning not anger.

"It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it."

For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Life cycle but restrained himself to a single statement, "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid", came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in. Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office, does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle, we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He could see, he had the man where he wanted, and it was time to drive home the point. "Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrently, data integrity, locking, data security. Do you Understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was awestruck, quite like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things?"

"I used to", Vivek paused for effect, "but now I am the Project Manager."

"Oh!", sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, "Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality."

He continued, "To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his requirements, the user at the other wanting something else, and your boss, always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with Self-realization. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth.

"My friend", he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire".

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization.

When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

He was staring blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tri-colour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..?"

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft assignment. But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib refused me permission and went ahead himself.
He said that the first pledge he had taken as a gentleman cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded. His own personal safety came last, always and every time."

"He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir.. I know, what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life, which he had so far attributed only to epic heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tri-colour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute.

It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

Don't Give Up

I went to watch a local football match in a neighborhood school ground. As I sat down, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

With a smile, he replied; "They are leading us 3-0" !

And I said, “Really ! I have to say you don't look discouraged.”

"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look, “Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle? I have confidence in the team and the managers; We shall definitely overcome!”

Truly, the match ended 5-4 in favor of the boy's team!

He waved at me gently, with a beautiful smile as he left. I was amazed, mouth wide open at such confidence and such beautiful faith.

As I got back home that night, his question kept coming back to me, "Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle?"

Life is like a game. Why should you be discouraged when the Almighty God is your manager? Why should you be discouraged, while there's still life? Why should you be discouraged when your final whistle has not sounded?

The truth is that many people blow the final whistle themselves. But as long as there is life, nothing is impossible and it is never too late for you. Half time is not full time. Don't blow the whistle on yourself.

Don’t give up, and keep your faith. With sincere efforts, all things are still possible!

I will leave you to enjoy this song that captures the thought really beautifully.  

रुक जाना नहीं तू कही हार के
काँटों पे चल के मिलेंगे साये बहार के |

Poetic Wisdom from Neeraj

Gopaldas Neeraj is my favorite Hindi poet, and I consider myself fortunate that I got the opportunity to hear him recite his poems in a Kavi Sammelan may years back.

Neeraj made a mark in Hindi film music by writing lyrics for many of the songs, but as a poet, he was never really excited by his film work, the literary creations used to give him more satisfaction.

I am a big fan of his landmark song - Karvan Guzar Gaya and have sung it as well.

Neeraj had a very distinct style of poetry. Hidden behind the simple and beautiful words of his poems, often there is deep meaning and wisdom. Here is my attempt to decipher some of his verses.

 

Get rid of excess baggage if you want to be happy. 

जितना कम सामान रहेगा 

उतना सफर आसान रहेगा 

जितनी भारी गठरी होगी 

उतना तू हैरान रहेगा

Learn to face a difficult situation as a challenge. 

जिस वक़्त जीना गैर मुमकिन सा लगे 

उस वक़्त जीना फर्ज़ है इंसान का 

लाज़िम लहर के साथ है तब खेलना 

ज़ब हो समन्दर पे नशा तूफान का

Don’t have any regret about past. 

जीवन कटना था, कट गया 

अच्छा कटा, बुरा कटा यह तुम जानो 

मैं तो यह समझाता हूँ 

कपडा पुराना एक फटना था, फट गया 

जीवन कटना था, कट गया

The irony of life – we don’t know ourselves. 

तमाम उम्र मैं एक अजनबी के घर मे रहा 

सफर न करते हुये भी किसी सफर मे रहा

Religion should preach humanity and brotherhood. 

अब तो मजहब कोइ ऎसा चलाया जाये 

जिसमे इंसान को इंसान बनाया जाये 

जिसकी खुशबू से महक जाये पडोसी का भी घर 

फूल इस किस्म का आँगन मे खिलाया जाये

Spare a thought for the underprivileged. 

जलाओ दिये पर रहे ध्यान इतना 

अंधेरा धरा पर कहीं रह न जाये

How romantic! 

जब चले जायेंगे लौट के सावन की तरह 

याद आयेंगे प्रथम प्यार के चुंबन की तरह 

ज़िक्र जिस दम भी छिडा उनकी गली मे मेरा 

जाने शर्माये वो क्यों गांव की दुल्हन की तरह

क्या Communication Gap है

अरविन्द और अनिल को बचपन से ही एक दूसरे की बात समझने मे बहुत कठिनाई होती है। बचपन में एक बार दोनो डाक्टर-मरीज़ खेल रहे थे, अनिल डाक्टर बना और अरविन्द मरीज बनकर उसके पास पहुँचा:

अनिल:  तबियत कैसी है?

अरविन्द:    पहले से ज्यादा खराब है।

अनिल:  दवाई खा ली थी?

अरविन्द:    खाली नहीं थी भरी हुई थी।

अनिल: मेरा मतलब है दवाई ले ली थी?

अरविन्द:    जी आप ही से तो ली थी।

अनिल:  अरे भाई! दवाई पी ली थी?

अरविन्द:    नहीं जी दवाई नीली थी।

अनिल: ओफ्फोह! दवाई को पी लिया था.?

अरविन्द:    नहीं जी पीलिया तो मुझे था।

अनिल: हूज़ूरे आला! दवाई को खोल के मुँह में रख लिया था?

अरविन्द:    नहीं आप ही ने तो कहा था कि फ्रिज में रखना।

अनिल: ज़नाब क्या मार खाने का इरादा है?

अरविन्द:   नहीं दवाई खानी है।

अनिल: मेहरबानी करके यहाँ से निकल जाईये।

अरविन्द:   जा रहा हूँ, फिर कब आऊँ?

अनिल: मरने के बाद।

अरविन्द:   आपके या मेरे?

Happy Father's Day

Today is Father's day. Here is a beautiful poem by Om Vyas Om (re-arranged a bit) to express my feelings on this occasion:

पिता अँगुली पकडे बच्चे का सहारा है,
पिता कभी कुछ खट्टा कभी खारा है,

पिता से ही बच्चों के ढेर सारे सपने हैं,
पिता है तो बाज़ार के सब खिलौने अपने हैं,

पिता…पिता अप्रदर्शित-अनंत प्यार है,
पिता है तो बच्चों को इंतज़ार है,

पिता…पिता जीवन है, सम्बल है, शक्ति है,
पिता…पिता सृष्टी मे निर्माण की अभिव्यक्ती है,

पिता…पिता पालन है, पोषण है, परिवार का अनुशासन है,
पिता…पिता धौंस से चलना वाला प्रेम का प्रशासन है,

पिता…पिता रोटी है, कपडा है, मकान है,
पिता…पिता छोटे से परिंदे का बडा आसमान है,

पिता से परिवार में प्रतिपल राग है,
पिता से ही माँ की बिंदी और सुहाग है,

पिता अपनी इच्छाओं का हनन और परिवार की पूर्ती है,
पिता…पिता रक्त निगले हुए संस्कारों की मूर्ती है,

पिता…पिता एक जीवन को जीवन का दान है,
पिता…पिता दुनिया दिखाने का एहसान है,

वो खुशनसीब हैं माँ-बाप जिनके साथ होते हैं,
क्योंकि माँ-बाप के आशिषों के हाथ हज़ारों हाथ होते हैं

प्रेरणा दायक विचार

अकसर लोग बेहतर की तलाश मे बेहतरीन खो देते हैं |

नीयत साफ और मकसद सही हो तो यकीनन किसी न किसी रूप में ईश्वर भी आपकी मदद करते हैं |

अच्छाई एक न एक दिन अपना असर जरूर दिखाती है |

हर नजर में मुमकिन नहीं है बेगुनाह रहना, वादा ये करें की खुद की नजर में बेदाग रहें |

हम जब किसी का अच्छा कर रहे होते हैं तो हमारे लिए भी कुछ अच्छा हो रहा होता है |

दुनिया में हर चीज ठोकर लगने से टूट जाती है, एक कामयाबी ही है जो ठोकर खाकर ही मिलती है |

माना कि आप किसी का भाग्य नहीं बदल सकते लेकिन अच्छी प्रेरणा और सही राय देकर किसी का मार्ग दर्शन तो कर सकते हैं |

किस्मत आपके हाथ में नहीं होती पर निर्णय आपके हाथ में होता है, आपका निर्णय आपकी किस्मत बदल सकता है |

रुमाल से आंसू पोंछे जा सकते हैं किंतु क्षमा और प्रेम आंसुओं के कारण को ही समाप्त कर देते हैं |

सेलो टेप हो या सम्बन्ध अंत में ऐसे न छोड़ देना, कि वापिस ढूंढ़ने के लिये खरोचना पड़े |

अपना दर्द सबको न बताएं क्योंकि सबके घर मरहम नहीं होता मगर नमक हर एक के घर होता है |

संबंध कभी भी सबसे जीतकर नहीं निभाए जा सकते |

जैसे हो वैसे ही रहिये क्योंकि original की कीमत Copy से अधिक होती हैं |

मुझे वो रिश्ते पसंद है जिनमें "मैं" नहीं "हम" हो |

समय जब निर्णय करता है तब गवाहों की जरूरत नहीं होती |

परेशानी हालात से नही, ख़यालात से पैदा होती है |

चिंता इतनी कीजिए की काम हो जाए, पर इतनी नही की जिंदगी तमाम हो जाए |

स्वभाव भी इंसान की अपनी कमाई हुयी सबसे बड़ी दौलत है |

तारीफ़ अपने आपकी करना फ़िज़ूल है, ख़ुशबू तो ख़ुद ही बता देती है, कौन सा फ़ूल है |

What They do not Teach You in School

Think about it, we spend a significant part of our life in formal education, nearly 16 years or more in school / college, which is expected to equip us with the required knowledge and skills to prepare us for life. We learn languages, mathematics, science, history, geography, etc in school, and in college we focus on career building skills such as engineering, commerce, medical, etc. There is no doubt that this education adds a significant value, and helps one to get a jump start in life. A major challenge in India today is that a large part of population is still deprived of this opportunity, and remains uneducated and illiterate.  

Another aspect to think about is the inadequate quality of our education. Students spend four years in an engineering college in order to acquire necessary skills to start as an engineer, but very often all they get is theoretical knowledge, and the practical skills required for the job are barely touched on the surface. Clearly, there is an urgent need to improve our college education in this direction. Most companies pitch in here with elaborate technical training programs for college graduates to prepare them for their job.

With so many years spent on education, it is expected that it will prepare us well for life in all aspects, which is far from the reality. Our curriculum has a single minded focus on job and career, and it works on the assumption that if you have a well-paying career or business and have enough money, you are going to be successful and happy in life. We discover from experience later that there are several other life skills that are needed to face life. These most vital life skills are largely ignored in our formal education, and our schools and colleges do not make any attempt to teach these competencies. If anything, they attempt to address them only indirectly, letting each student struggle on her own to develop these. Even at the job, these abilities are bundled under "soft-skills", and get minimal attention in employee education programs. This is one of the factors responsible for growing sense of unhappiness in youngsters who are immensely successful by conventional yardstick.

In this post, I discuss some of these abilities that are so vital for everyone that they deserve to be in our formal syllabus.

Self-Management

You are at the center of your universe, every outcome in your life depends on how you think and act. Hence it is natural that the most important life skill is about managing yourself. It ultimately decides how successful, happy, and satisfied you are going to be. You must have experienced days when you take right steps and get a lot of stuff done, and other days when you do not seem to find the right rhythm and struggle to take things forward. For example, look at these abilities that come into play in our day to day life, have you seen any course in school or college that deals with these topics? 

• How to manage your time effectively?
• How to handle stress and worries of everyday life?
• How to deal with failures / personal loss?
• How to make right decisions
• How to control our anger, envy, frustration, mood swings? 

Social behavior 

Next to managing yourselves, is managing your interaction with others. We come across people in every situation, at home, work, on road, in society. Why should we be left to ourselves to learn the inter-personal skills? How we get along with others can have a major impact on our life. For example, look at these social abilities that come into play in our day to day life. 

• How do we ensure positive interaction with others?
• How to work well in a team?
• How to communicate our thoughts to others?
• How to convince people about our ideas?
• How to be a good listener?
• How to take criticism from others?

Relationships

Humans have a need for having close meaningful relationships that provide a sense of love and belonging. But this is like a beautiful garden that has minefields all around. As you take a walk in it, you may enjoy sweet fragrance of flowers, taste of sweet fruits, but step on a mine by mistake and it may blow away everything. This is an area that certainly deserves to be given more direct attention in our education system.

• How do we form meaningful, long-lasting relationships with family, friends, and co-workers?
• How to sustain a relationship and keep it energized?
• What to do for damage control when things go wrong?
• How to reconcile the differences in a relationship?
• How to handle discussions, arguments, and conflicts?

Marriage

This fundamental aspect of human life is completely overlooked in our education. Ask any couple getting married – are they prepared for the life ahead? And the answer will be an eye opener for you. In some cases, people do more preparations for a short air travel than what they do for a journey that is going to last a lifetime. Somehow when it comes to marriage, we believe that things will take care of themselves. Little wonder that many youngsters find it a challenging endeavor, and marital discord is on the rise.

• How to choose the right life partner?
• How to develop a close bond with our partner and form a family?
• What to do to make a marriage successful?
• How to bring up kids?
• Signs to look for when things go wrong

Positive Attitude

The ultimate desire in life is to be happy, and it is influenced mostly by how we see our life and situation. It is so important that there should be a class in school from the very beginning to teach the art of positive thinking. Let us bring up a generation of positive thinking youngsters and we will equip them with the mental toughness required for the roller-coaster ride of life.

• How to develop control over our thoughts?
• How to grow a positive mindset?
• How to be happy in life?
• How to handle adversity with a positive approach?
• How to keep our belief and enthusiasm even when faced with hurdles?

How to Develop These Skills?

Educationists may wake up some day and include these topics in the curriculum. Possibly our kids may not have to struggle to learn them. But that consolation does not help you right now. How do you go about acquiring these skills now?

You would notice that through every day experiences, you have subconsciously attained a certain understanding and proficiency in these life skills, so you are not at the start line. You may also realize that improving your level in some of these areas can bring in big positive changes in your life.

Don’t just depend at hacking around, and and learning on the fly by doing what comes to your mind. Do take time to read and learn from others. Read good books, blogs, and articles on the subject. Take time to discuss it with friends, spouse, or kids. You have worked really hard to develop career skills, and the life skills need equally strong attention from you. 

Choose Your Career Wisely

This is the time of the year again when results of various board and competitive examinations are announced. You will find a constant din of sky-high percentages and ranks around you. Students who clear the exam with modest marks often feel disappointment instead of happiness of success. Even if you scored less than expected marks, do not despair; instead focus on plans and actions that will help you do well in future.

Relax

First and foremost, relax. This isn’t the end of the world. Before making any impulsive decision in a disturbed state of mind, it is important that you sit back and give rest to your mind. Look at the reality of the situation. Stop feeling bad about your results, since this is not the only exam you are going to take; nor are you the only student who scored such marks.

Understand Reality

As much as we all consider marks to be the final verdict of a student’s capability, it is not true. While good marks do play a role in giving a head start to your career, in the long run your success in career is not so much dependent on this head start. Take time to understand your strengths, aptitude, interests, and passion. You can visit a career counseller or take an aptitude test to find out career options that are most suitable for you.

Avoid Comparison

Students and their parents must not compare themselves to their peers, as this really hits your morale badly. Remember, you are a unique and valuable individual on your own, and performance of others should not be a benchmark for you. Always remember to compete with yourself, try doing better tomorrow than what you did today. Stop lingering on this exams, and concentrate your energies on constructively preparing for next test. Explore ways to improve your performance and act on them in a step by step manner. This would ensure a slow and steady growth, both professionally as well as personally.

Be Open to New Age Careers

Gone are the days when students had limited career opportunities to choose from. Today, there are several other career paths that are at par with traditional enginnering / medical / MBA degrees. Consider new skill-based courses in journalism, music, arts, dance, graphic design, ethical hacking, fashion designing, content writing, blogging, social media management, app development, film making, etc. Start researching on each of these to find out the possible career options and required skill-set for them, and make an informed choice in keeping with your aptitude and interests.
To conclude, always remind yourself that your marksheet does not determine your true worth. Use this as a motivation to do better next time. Stay strong and prepare for your future with a clear mind.

The Marathon

आजकल  12वी क्लास के रिजल्ट्स आ रहे हैं । 95 % स्कोर करने वाले बच्चों के माता-पिता बड़े गर्व से उनका नाम और फोटो डाल रहे हैं । बहुत से मित्रों ने बोर्ड परीक्षा में अपने बच्चों को मिले गौरवशाली अंक साझा किए हैं । भला अपनी संतान की उल्लेखनीय सफलता पर किस माता-पिता को गर्व नहीं होगा ?  ऐसे सभी सफल बच्चों और उनके माता-पिता को बहुत बहुत बधाई ।

लेकिन उनका क्या जिन बच्चों ने 54% स्कोर किया ? क्या उनके माँ-बाप के पास गर्व करने के लिए कुछ नहीं है ? जो बच्चे उतने अधिक अंक नहीं ला सके, वे अक्सर निराश और हताश महसूस करते हैं कि अपने माता - पिता की आकांक्षाओं पर खरा नहीं उतर सके।  उन्हें तरह तरह के तानों और सुझावों का भी सामना करना पड़ता है । मेरी यह पोस्ट उन्ही बच्चों के माता-पिता के लिए है ।

पहले एक छोटी सी कहानी सुनिए । 1987 में इटली के रोम नगर में अंतर्राष्ट्रीय खेल प्रतियोगिता थी जिसमे 1500 मी की दौड़ में भारत का प्रतिनिधित्व कश्मीरा सिंह  कर रहे थे । इस दौड़ में ट्रैक के कुल पौने चार चक्कर लगाने होते हैं । यानी पहले राउंड में कुल 300 मीटर और बाकी 3 राउंड में कुल 1200 मीटर । दौड़ शुरू हुई, और कश्मीरा सिंह ने दौड़ शुरू होते ही बहुत तेज़ भागकर बढ़त बना ली । ट्रैक पे लगभग 40 से ज़्यादा धावक दौड़ रहे थे, जिनमे कश्मीरा सिंह सबसे आगे थे । कमेंटेटर ने बताया कि भारत का धावक सबसे आगे चल रहा है ।

जी जान लगाकर भागते रहे और 3 राउंड तक कश्मीरा सिंह सबसे आगे चले, पर कमेंटेटर उनकी इस दौड़ से कतई प्रभावित नहीं था । वो पीछे चल रहे किन्ही दो अन्य धावकों पे निगाह रखे हुए था ।

बहरहाल चौथा और आखिरी राउंड शुरू हुआ । कश्मीरा सिंह धीमे पड़ने लगे, और एक धावक बढ़ के कश्मीरा सिंह से आगे आ गया । उसके बाद दूसरा, और धीरे - धीरे सभी धावक उनसे आगे निकल गए । उस रेस में कश्मीरा सिंह शायद 40 में से 38वे स्थान पे रहे ।

इस कहानी में हमारे लिए एक बहुत ज़रूरी सबक है । ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में इस बात से कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि आप पहले राउंड में आगे हैं कि नहीं । हार जीत का फैसला इससे होता है की  फिनिशिंग लाइन पे सबसे पहले कौन पहुंचा । उस दौड़ में सोमालिया का धावक फिनिशिंग लाइन पे सबसे पहले पहुंचा और उसने स्वर्ण पदक जीता । इसी कारण इतिहास में नाम उस विजेता का नाम का दर्ज है न कि कश्मीरा सिंह का ।

अभी तो इन बच्चों की ज़िन्दगी की मैराथन दौड़ का बमुश्किल पहला राउंड पूरा हुआ है । फिनिशिंग लाइन पे न जाने कौन पहुंचेगा सबसे पहले । शुरू में बहुत तेज़ दौड़ने वाले ज़रूरी नहीं कि इसी दमखम से लगे रहे । सबसे आगे वो आएगा जो धैर्य पूर्वक लगा रहेगा । जो बिना हार माने दौड़ता रहेगा । वो जिसकी निगाह लक्ष्य पे रहेगी ।

और सबसे महत्वपूर्ण बात ये कि हर बाज़ी को जीतना ज़रूरी भी नहीं । असली मज़ा तो दौड़ पूरी करने में भी है । अपने आस पास देखिये और आपको ऐसे बहुत उदाहरण मिल जायेंगे कि ज़िन्दगी में 54 % पाने वाले भी अपनी मेहनत और लगन से अंततः सफलता प्राप्त करते हैं ।

चायनीज बम्बू को सदा याद रखना, सबसे देरी से उगता है पर उगते ही सात हफ्ते में चालीस फुट का हो जाता है ।

इसलिये अपने बच्चों को प्रेरणा दे कि रुको मत, दौड़ते रहो, सफलता अवश्य मिलेगी । और कभी भी अपने बच्चो की तुलना किसी और से न करे, क्योकि हर एक बच्चा अपने आप में आदित्य है, अदभुत है, विशेष है।

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Here are a few one-liner jokes, in an attempt to get a smile from you:


Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

Someday is not a day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

The road to success.. Is always under construction.
 
If you can't convince them, confuse them.


The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

I say no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen.


In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.


Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.


Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.


In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.


Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers - Hot glass looks same as cold glass.

A Dialog with Self

When we are faced with a tough problem that needs to be solved, we often look for the root cause of the issue. Who is responsible for it? And once we identify the person behind it, we get into a dialog with him to convince him to take necessary action to remove the obstacle. This investigation and dialog process is crucial to overcoming our day to day difficulties.

When we zoom out a little and take a broader view of our life as a whole, we invariably find many things that we do not like and would like to fix. We try to apply the same process there, and to our surprise, it is difficult to pinpoint who is responsible for it. We try our best to find someone who should take action, but do not succeed.

What are we missing? We ignore a vital clue here. We ourselves are the one responsible for most of the things that happen to us. According to Stephen Covey, the first step towards improving our situation is to accept our own role in it. When we introspect closely, we can trace most of our current problems to something that we did or have been doing; and this is good news. Once we know what we should do differently to improve our life, it is well within our circle of influence to change our actions accordingly.

On the other hand, if we continue to be in denial by holding others responsible for our misery, there is little hope of overcoming the obstacle. As we shift the focus to others and blame them for our plight, we dis-empower ourselves and become helpless.

So, we must get used to these two vital steps:

• Internal investigation or introspection about our own role and actions
• Dialog with self about what we must change. 

What are we doing that is making our life worse? Why do we choose to live a life full of stress and disappointments?  Why are we being our own worst enemy? Are we not complicating our life by violating the principle of integrity and sincerity in our interactions?  Are we not cluttering our lives with too many physical possessions and forcing ourselves to be in a rat race? Can we not do something different, something better?

I am quoting below a beautiful poem written by my dear friend Dr Rajeev Bishnoi (Bodhiraj). There is no better way to express the above ideas.

Anveshan - A Poem by Bodhiraj (Dr Rajeev Bishnoi)

क्यूँ अनमने भाव से जीते हो, और क्रोध आप पर करते हो
दिन में रहते निंद्रा के वश, क्यूँ रात-रात यूँ जगते हो
दिन रात परेशान रहते हो |

क्यूँ अपने से यूँ डरते हो, और आत्म श्लाघा करते हो
हो अपने बैरी तुम ख़ुद ही, क्यूँ दोष किसी पर धरते हो
और खुद लाचार हो जाते हो |

एक भाव तुम्हारे चेहरे पर, एक बात तुम्हारे मन में हैं
क्या भाव तुम्हारे है निर्मल, क्या बात तुम्हारी है सच्ची?
क्या कर्म तुम्हारे है अच्छे ?

जीवन को आकिंचन रक्ख़ा, या भौतिकता में होम दिया
अपने दिल के आईने में, भगवान का तुमको भास हुआ
या शैतानो का वास हुआ ।

ये प्रश्न तुम्हारे तुमसे ही, ये खोज तुम्हारी तुमसे ही
जिज्ञासा अपने ही मन की, यह ख़ुद का ही संवाद प्रिये
यह ख़ुद अपना अन्वेषण है ।

Beautiful words, if you like it and want more, listen to a song based on this poem by clicking on the video below:

Tips & Tricks for Managing People

Congratulations on getting promoted to manager’s level. You have worked hard and put in a stellar performance to earn it, and are looking forward to your new role, but are you prepared for it? How do you see your new role? You are aware that at this new level you are expected to accomplish much more than before, and may even be a little apprehensive how you are going to measure up to the raised expectations.

I can relate to how you feel as I experienced it myself in the beginning. What does it mean to be a good manager? Over the years, I have worked with many managers, and from their example, learned what is good management all about. In this post, I am putting together a collection of ideas that should serve new managers as a good starting point, and experienced managers as a refresher.

Change Your Mindset

First, you require a paradigm shift in how you see yourself and your role as a manager. So far, you have been a champion and heavy lifter in the team, and now you have become a manager, and a team is assigned to you. While you may continue to tackle challenging issues with your expertise, your focus should gradually shift to getting the best performance from your whole team. This is vital to meet the raised expectations from you. Your success as a manager depends on how your team performs. If the team does not live up to its potential, even if work very hard, you will either burn yourself out with overload, or under deliver. This was my first and most important insight as a manager. You must get used to the idea of success through your team, and actively work to enable them to succeed. This requires very different skills of leadership and people management. Sounds like an obvious idea? Look around and you will spot many seasoned managers who still do not internalize it.

Prepare Yourself

How do you go about acquiring people management skills? In the same way you honed your technical skills. Read the available material, go through trainings, talk to mentors, try to prepare yourself well for all aspects of your new role. Take time to be well versed with the process and guidelines of your company for managers. More importantly, start applying your learning in your everyday work and refine your skills with practice.

Understand, Respect, Build Trust

This is the most important quality you need to develop as a manager, and it needs regular communication. Schedule 1-1 meetings with each of your team member every week. If you have a large team, you can make it once in two weeks. Learn the right way to do it from your own 1-1s with your manager. Give due importance to the 1-1 slot, do not cancel it often. Never be impatient, cut short the discussion saying that you are too busy. Take time to listen and discuss the work, challenges, and aspirations of the employee. Listen attentively if the employee expresses an opinion about an issue. Provide feedback about her work, and suggestions for resolving the issues. If the 1-1s are handled well, they help you develop a solid understanding of your people, and enhances trust in your relationship over a period of time.

Create a High Performing Team

Learn to delegate work effectively to your team. Define what needs to be done, set up performance agreement, and then let the team do it on its own. For sure, have regular checkpoints to measure the progress and address any blocks. Be available to provide support for problem solving, but only when needed. Avoid micro management and top-down management style of making all decisions for your team. Let your people take the decisions in their projects, and do not interfere. Even when you are called upon to take a decision. Use a consultative approach with the team and aim for arriving at the best decision together. Your goal is to create a well-oiled machinery that runs smoothly even without you. On the contrary, if you are too busy and overworked as a manager, something needs to be fixed. Look carefully if you have made yourself the bottleneck in the team, without whom nothing moves forward. Organize your team better to free up your bandwidth for the important stuff.

Coach Your Team to be Proactive.

Do not just focus on crisis management / urgent stuff, which is often an outcome of not doing an important action in time. Coach your team to finish the important stuff well in time before it turns into an urgent crisis. Lead the team by your own example.

Encourage Collaboration

A team that works well together can accomplish much more. Avoid politics and rat-race, and do not foster a culture where people talk to you behind each other's back. Instead, encourage them to be open in giving feedback to others. In case of a conflict, do not take sides. Ask them to work it out between themselves through discussions. If you love being a mediator, more such instances will happen. In any case, never form a biased opinion about an employee based on what someone tells you behind his back. Try to ascertain the facts yourself first-hand.

Develop Your People

When you help people improve, they contribute more and it makes your team stronger over time. Make a habit of providing feedback to the team members on a regular basis. This helps them improve their performance over time.

Treat performance evaluation and rating process very seriously, as it impacts the careers of people. They have put their best in the job, and now it is your turn to show that you care. Remember to avoid bias in your performance judgement, your review should be based on facts, not impressions. It is even more important if you manage a cross-geographic team.

Think about career advancement options for each of your employee, and make sure to discuss it with her and be a mentor and coach. If you are a senior manager, work it out in consultation with the managers in your team. Trust the manager's judgement of his team's performance.

Handle Mistakes Well

Despite your best intentions, there are times when you make errors, and are confronted by your team about your bad decision. Such a discussion can be really difficult to handle. Best way to approach it is with sincerity, integrity, and openness. Do not shy away from admitting your mistake if required. Such an open behavior will earn you respect from the team.

Do not try tricks to wriggle out of the situation by making stories. e.g. do not blame it on senior management or HR, or push it under carpet, or say that this decision was required as per the company policy. Your employees can easily see through such antics, and you will land up with dissatisfied and disengaged employees. They will also lose respect for you looking at your shady tactics. So, the right way is be honest and act with integrity and serious intention. Sounds like an obvious principle? You will find many senior manager violating it.

Finally, do not feel bogged down by all this complexity. Working with your team and succeeding together is a lots of fun, and can be a rewarding experience. Just follow a few common sense practices well, and you will be on your way to become a successful manager.

Your Unbounded Treasure

Very often, we are not satisfied with our wealth, and end  up with a gloomy feeling that God has been unfair to us. What if I tell you that this feeling is not correct? If you are reading this blog, chances are that God has gifted you unbounded treasure of the world !  You are just underestimating the value of the precious gifts you have received.

You may laugh at this thought and say, "How can you say it without knowing my situation?"

We need a paradigm shift here. We tend to count as wealth only physical belongings like money, property, gold, bank balance etc. However, in doing so, we take for granted other possessions that are far more precious. Our eyes, our ears, our speech, our hands, our feet,  and our brain.

As a simple illustration,  imagine you have all the money in the world, but you lose your eyesight. You will obviously be very keen to get your eyesight back, whatever it takes. If you are told it will cost you a million dollars to restore it, will you not be willing to pay the amount? It shows clearly that you have a marvelous gift from God, the ability to see and experience the magnificent colorful beauty of this world, is it not a wealth that is worth much more than a million dollars?

Not only eyes, you can apply the same thought exercise for the other gifts we listed above, and you will reach the same conclusion. This is a big eye opener! Why are we unhappy with such an unbounded treasure with us? Is there any point in feeling miserable and unhappy when we are blessed to have such precious gifts?  

Before I stop, listen to the song below from the movie Sunayana; the protagonist in this song says that his sole wish in life is to have his sweetheart see and enjoy the colorful beauty around.  

जहाँ न जाए रवि, वहां जाए कवि

मित्रों - आपको मेरी ओर से विश्व कविता दिवस की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएँ।

  
यह सच है कि कवि हमें एक ऐसे कल्पना के संसार में ले जाता है जिसे हम कभी वास्तविकता में नहीं देख सकते | हिंदी साहित्य का यह सौभाग्य रहा है की इसे अत्यंत विलक्षण प्रतिभा वाले अनेक कवियों का साथ मिला है | सबकी विभिन्न शैली है और सभी ने अलग अलग विषयों पर लिखा हैं | परन्तु इन सभी में क्या कोई apples–to–apples comparison संभव है ?

बचपन में मै धर्मयुग पत्रिका को बड़ी रूचि से पढता था, और इसमें 1976 की होली में प्रसिद्ध कवि ओम प्रकाश आदित्य की एक रचना ने मुझे बड़ा प्रभावित किया | इसमें उन्होंने कल्पना की कि एक उदास रमणी छज्जे पर बैठी है, जिसकी मुखमुद्रा को देखकर ऐसा लगता है, जैसे वह छज्जे से कूद कर आत्महत्या करने वाली हो। तभी वहीँ  से हिन्दी के बारह प्रसिद्ध कविगण एक साथ गुज़र रहे है, जो कि किसी कवि सम्मलेन से आ रहे थे | इस रचना में आदित्य जी ने एक तस्वीर खींच दी है की इन कवियों ने इस स्थिति में क्या कहा – अब आप ही सोचिये, क्या यह घटना वास्तविकता में कभी संभव है? बहुत सुन्दर रचना है - आनंद लीजिये |

मैथिली शरण गुप्त
अट्टालिका पर एक रमणी अनमनी सी है अहो।
किस वेदना के भार से संतप्त हो देवी कहो?
धीरज धरो संसार में किसके नहीं दुर्दिन फिरे‚
हे राम रक्षा कीजिये अबला न भूतल पर गिरे।

सुमित्रानंदन पंत
स्वर्ण–सौध के रजत शिखर पर, चिर नूतन चिर सुंदर प्रतिपल
उन्मन–उन्मन‚ अपलक–नीरव, शशि–मुख पर कोमल कुंतल–पट
कसमस–कसमस चिर यौवन–घट, पल–पल प्रतिपल
छल–छल करती निर्मल दृग–जल, ज्यों निर्झर के दो नीलकमल
यह रूप चपल ज्यों धूप धवल, अतिमौन‚ कौन? रूपसि‚ बोलो‚
प्रिय‚ बोलो न?

रामधारी सिंह दिनकर
दग्ध हृदय में धधक रही, उत्तप्त प्रेम की ज्वाला।
हिमगिरि के उत्स निचोड़‚ फोड़, पाताल बनो विकराला।
ले ध्वंसों के निर्माण त्राण से, गोद भरो पृथ्वी की।
छत पर से मत गिरो, गिरो अंबर से वज्र–सरीखी।

काका हाथरसी
गोरी बैठी छत्त पर‚ कूदन को तैयार
नीचे पक्का फर्श है‚ भली करे करतार
भली करे करतार‚ न दे दे कोई धक्का
ऊपर मोटी नार कि नीचे पतरे कक्का
कह काका कविराय‚ अरी! मत आगे बढ़ना
उधर कूदना‚ मेरे ऊपर मत गिर पड़ना

गोपाल प्रसाद व्यास
छत पर उदास क्यों बैठी है‚ तू मेरे पास चली आ री।
जीवन का सुख–दुख कट जाए‚ कुछ मैं गाऊं‚ कुछ तू गा री।
तू जहां कहीं भी जाएगी‚ जीवन–भर कष्ट उठाएगी।
यारों के साथ रहेगी तो‚ मथुरा के पेड़े खाएगी।

श्यामनारायण पांडेय
ओ घमंड मंडिनी‚ अखंड खंड–खंडिनी।
वीरता विमंडिनी‚ प्रचंड चंड चंडिनी।
सिंहनी की वान से‚ आन–बान–शान से।
मान से‚ गुमान से‚ तुम गिरो मकान से।
तुम डगर–डगर गिरो, तुम नगर–नगर गिरो।
तुम गिरो‚ अगर गिरो‚ शत्रु पर मगर गिरो।

गोपाल प्रसाद नीरज
हो न उदास रूपसी‚ तू मुस्कुराती जा‚
मौत में भी जिंदगी के फूल खिलाती जा।
जाना तो हर एक को एक दिन जहान से‚
जाते–जाते मेरा एक गीत गुनगुनाती जा।

महाकवि निराला
यह मन्दिर की पूजा संस्कृति का शिलान्यास
इसके आँचल में चिति की लीला का विलास
यह मर्माहत हो करे कूद कर आत्मघात
विकसित मानव वक्षस्थल पर धिक् वज्रपात
नर के सुख हित रक्षित अधिकारों के उपाय
युग-युग से नारी का दुख ही पर्याय हाय
बीतेगी, रे, कब बीतेगी यह अन्धरात
अबला कब होगी सबला कब होगा प्रभात।

भवानी प्रसाद मिश्र
गिरो!
तुम्हें गिरना है तो ज़रूर गिरो!
पर कुछ अलग ढंग से गिरो!
गिरने के भी कई ढंग होते हैं
गिरो!
जैसे बूंद गिरती है किसी बादल से
और बन जाती है मोती
बखूबी गिरो हँसते-हँसते मेरे दोस्त
जैसे सीमा पर गोली खाकर सिपाही गिरता है
सुबह की पत्तियों पर ओस की बूंद जैसी गिरो!
गिरो!
पर ऐसे मत गिरो
जैसे किसी की आँख से कोई गिरता है
किसी ग़रीब की झोंपड़ी पर मत गिरो
बिजली की तरह गिरो
पर किसी की हो के गिरो
किसी के ग़म में रो के गिरो
कुछ करके गिरो
फिर चाहे भी भरके गिरो!

देवराज दिनेश
मनहर सपनों में खोयी-सी, कुछ-कुछ उदास, कुछ रोयी सी
यह कौन हठीली छत से गिरने को आतुर
कह दो इससे अपने जीवन से प्यार करे
संघर्ष गले का हार करे
विपदाओं में जीना सीखे
जीवन यदि विष है तो उसको, हँसते-हँसते पीना सीखे
कह दो इससे!

बालकवि बैरागी
गौ…री, हे…मरवण…हे
गौरी हे! मरवण हे!
थारी बातों में म्हारी सब बाताँ, थारो सब कुंजी तालो जी
उतरो-उतरो म्हारी मरवण उतरो, घर को काम सँभालो जी
गौरी हे, मरवण हे।

सुरेन्द्र शर्मा
ऐरी के कररी है?
छज्जै से निचै कुद्दै है
तो पहली मंजिल से क्यूँ कुद्दै
चैथी पे जा
जैसे क्यूँ बेरो तो पाट्टै
के कुद्दी थी।

Do Not Miss It

I was out doing my morning jogging, when I noticed another person running about half a kilometer ahead of me. I sensed he was running somewhat slower than me, which meant there was an opportunity to overtake him. I said to myself that I will catch up with him in no time, and started running little faster. Every block, I was gaining on him a little bit. After just a few minutes when I reached within 100 feet of him, I really picked up the pace and pushed myself to go faster. I was determined to get ahead of him.

Finally I did it! I caught up and passed him. Inside me, I felt very good and had a sense of accomplishment on beating him. Of course, he was not even aware that we were racing, and he kept running as usual with his pace.

Only after I passed him, I realized that I had been so focused on racing against him that I had missed my turn to my house. I also missed the focus on my inner joy that I get from daily jogging sessions. I forgot to appreciate the green surroundings, and even stumbled once in my hurry to overtake him, barely escaping falling down and getting a fracture. Was all this hurry really worth it?

And  then the wisdom  dawned on me. Isn’t it what happens in life when we waste our energy in competing with class-mates, co-workers, neighbors, family and friends, trying to outdo them and show ourselves to be more successful and important? We gain very little by doing this, but we miss on the happiness in our own surroundings in the bargain. We devote our time in running this race, and we forget to focus on our essential mission in life – our own path and destination.

The problem with this unhealthy competition is that it is a negative spiral that never ends. There will always be someone ahead of you – with a better job, bigger house, more expensive car, wealthier, better educated, more successful children, etc. Do not stray from your path in trying to catch up with others. Live your life in accordance with your mission – focus on things that are important for you.

Whenever, you are faced with an urge to compare and compete, just remember this 5 point formula:

1. Comparison and competition are thieves of joy. They kill the joy of living your own life.
2. Each of us have our own destiny, there is no competition in this respect.
3. Take whatever you have, your height, weight, personality.. accept it as it is and realize that you are blessed with what you have. Stay focused on your path and live a haapy and healthy life.
4. At times, you may feel insecure when you pay too much attention others, what they wear, what they do, where they go, or what they say. Instead, you should try to live life in your own way. You can bring out the best in you when you are not competing with anyone.
5. Run your own race, at your individual pace, and it will lead to a peaceful, healthy, and happy life.